All of our memories are tainted now
Thoughts of you and her are all that fill my head

I wanna work through it because we're married and young
But I keep coming undone

I just don't know what to do anymore,
And we're carrying on as if everything is okay

I can't believe the life I thought I had
Was just an explosion of lies in my face

How could you do that to me, to us?
9 ******* months
Probably more
Full of lies and deceit


I don't know how I'll ever be okay again because you were supposed to be my soulmate, my everything

But it was all for nothing

You can always rinse the surface; but the stain will remain.

The cursed and the broken,
the unspoken and refused.
If hate is what's inside us, then hate is what defines us.
And when we use our hate to drive us,
we are the ******.

Love is lost like words.
You let the blood tell the truth; expulsion of remnants of your old self.

Innocence lost, with your conscience.

You look for destruction,
things that will surely **** you,
sooner
           than
later.

Everything just feels more separate than together, I don't know what to feel or do anymore

I'd wonder if you truly want me
and then I'd remember,
you'd say you were afraid of commitment.

I'd wonder what made you kiss me
and then I remember,
all you want is ***.

I'd wonder why you'd look at me
with swirls of blue slow dancing in your eyes,
and that glimmer of hope ignited in my bones
and then I'd remember,
you always told me I was "hot".

I'd wonder why you grabbed my hand like that
and intertwined your fingers with mine
then I'd remember,
you did things like that on your own accord
and when I asked if you'd hold my hand,
you always refused.

I still wonder if you meant it
when you said you loved me
but then I remember when I asked you,
"Do you love me like I love you, or...?"
You responded with, "Like I want to ******* love"

I wish I never loved you.
I wish I still didn't.

I wish you would ******* love me back...

*But you won't.

Where do you go,
when all you've ever known is ripped away from you,
and it's all your fault?

Where do you go,
when you ****** up,
and you don't get that last chance?

Where do you go when the last person you had leaves?

Where do you go when everyone gives up on you?

You give up on yourself.

My body is none of your ******* business.
My ****** encounters are none of your ******* business.
MY BODY IS MINE.
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE MAD DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CALL ME A *****, YOU KNOW GOOD AND **** WELL THAT I'M WORTH SOMETHING MORE
YOU'VE HELD THIS BODY
YOU'VE LOVED THIS BODY
YOU LOVED ME.
NOW I'M A *****?
*you ****** me too.

ALL THE HATEFUL WORDS YOU SAID ARE SWIMMING AROUND IN MY HEAD
THEY STILL STING LIKE THE BLADE I NO LONGER TURN TO
I MAY HAVE GOTTEN AWAY FROM YOU BUT I'LL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN

I NEVER WANNA FORGET THE WAY YOU FEEL

I WAS JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS UNTIL I MET YOU,
BARELY EXISTING
THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME HOW TO FEEL ALIVE,
YOU'RE SHOWING ME THIS BEAUTIFUL THING CALLED LOVE.

You say I need to make better choices,
yet you never give me opportunities to.
You yell at me, and put me down,
yet I never do that to you.
You say I need to do better,
yet you don't give me support.
You say I need to go back into inpatient,
yet you don't look into why I feel the way I do.
You say I'm spacey,
yet you fail to realize I'm always ******* spacey.
You say I'm a failure,
yet you don't see that I'm your daughter,
and this is not my fault.
You're the one who raised me this way.

So don't ******* blame me  for your mistakes.

JUST GIVE ME MY ******* LIFE  **BACK