I'd wonder if you truly want me
and then I'd remember,
you'd say you were afraid of commitment.
I'd wonder what made you kiss me
and then I remember,
all you want is ***.
I'd wonder why you'd look at me
with swirls of blue slow dancing in your eyes,
and that glimmer of hope ignited in my bones
and then I'd remember,
you always told me I was "hot".
I'd wonder why you grabbed my hand like that
and intertwined your fingers with mine
then I'd remember,
you did things like that on your own accord
and when I asked if you'd hold my hand,
you always refused.
I still wonder if you meant it
when you said you loved me
but then I remember when I asked you,
"Do you love me like I love you, or...?"
You responded with, "Like I want to ******* love"
I wish I never loved you.
I wish I still didn't.
I wish you would ******* love me back...
*But you won't.