Loving me is not easy
But you love all of me
You love me completely

Loving me can be exhausting
But your love keeps me going
You love me more each day.. and it keeps growing

Loving me is a choice
But its a choice you’ve made and make daily
You love me honestly and Still let me have a voice

There are no words
I have no words...

To say....

Thank you for Loving me....

Sometimes , at times, many times... probably right now...
I wish I could press the pause and reboot button
Lets press the rewind button or maybe the stop button....

But then rewind to what stage? To what time?
There seems to be no happy times
I can’t seem to find any care free times

Only times of constant worry
Times of always working
Only functional but not living

Can’t find the time of being totally happy
Can’t remember ever feeling completely safe
Can’t seem to find a time for what I’m trying to find

I guess I should just throw the entire ****** remote away...
But not before I press the pause button
Lets stop everything right now, it can’t keep going this way...

Please press the pause button
Put me in a coma...
I don’t have the strength , I want to be forgotten

Press the pause button
Put me in a coma
Don’t worry you can forget to wake me

I would be very grateful to be paused,
Better still stopped
Lets just end the story

So which do i need
Which one do I want
To press the pause button

Or to press the stop button...??!
Or maybe the rewind button...??
Or better still the delete button....

I just need to stop... so press any of the **** buttons!!! Please

There is so much noise inside me
There is so much hurt inside me
There is all this feelings within me

I’m restlessness
I’m burning inside
I’m crying inside
Slowly dying inside... literally

So much fury,
so much anger
So much pain
Lots of fake laughter

I’ve forgotten how to sleep
I can’t remember how to live
I can only remember how to survive
I have learned to forcefully smile while I weep

I feel stuck
I’m cold
My heart’s like a rock
I don’t know how to make me work

I need to sleep
I need to weep
I should cry
Till I’m raw and dry

But why can’t I find the answer to my question “WHY”
I need to find the answer to my WHY!

Why me??  
Why is this me??

Someone please tell me- Why!!
WHY!!!!!!!!!

2020-
I asked you when I first met you,
I implored you when we first said Hi
I was excited to finally see you

I asked - please be nice
I implored you - please be kind
Excited- please let it be great

But instead:
You almost killed me thrice
You made me loose my social life
You caused me to almost loose it all

You where not nice
You where not kind
You made it far from great...

But despite it all:
I’m still alive
I’m still standing tall
I’m still here
I’m stil going strong
I did fall.. but I’m up
And giving it my all...

2020... You won’t be forgotten
              You won’t be missed
              You thought us lots
               Though we had such loss

Lets say our goodbyes
I’m not going to cry
Can’t wait for the end
Let’s please not be friends...

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out😒

So exhausted
Sick to the marrow
I wish to be whole
No illness nor pain tomorrow

I wish I could sleep
Be put in a coma
And then be rebooted
And it’ll all be over

I’m drained
in so much pain
I’m fading
There’s nothing left to gain....

I’m exhausted...

I wake up to your sweet cuddles  and
Your love bites like tiny needles,
but it’s all part of ur love, nonetheless

You meow so sweet and lovingly
as you stretch and reach out out to me..
for a rub and a caress... o how that moves me..

You came into my life at it’s lowest point
I was giving up on joy, life n living- there was no point
But you waltzed in and turned it all around
All my despair to eagerness ...

Eagerness to watch you grow
Eagerness to wake up each day just to love you more
Eagerness to protect you , feed you play with and hold you more

You have no idea how much you saved me
How much you still save me
from my pain
From my despair
From my disdain

You are literally the reason I get out of bed every day..
If I don’t, you attack my feet, hands , nose n lips🤣

Having you in my life has given me a reason to stay alive

You are my right had man, drive buddy,walk buddy, netflix n chill budy.. travel buddy, fight buddy n best of all cuddle buddy..

thank you for saving this soul that was about to give up..

Thank you Olaf..
I love you my Ollie loly limlim baby💕💕💕

I’m slipping
I’m sliding
I can’t get up

I’m falling
I’m  drowning
It’s swallowing me up

I’m sinking
I’m dying
I can’t make it stop

I’m fading
I’m ending
I’m not strong enough

I’m crying
I’m begging
I need it to stop

I’m exhausted
I’m gasping
I’m running out of hope..

I need help
I need it to stop

I need a restart button
I need a new bus stop

I need a new beginning
I need this now to end

I need it to stop killing me
I need to find a new start or for this to end...