If only I wasn’t stupid
If only I wasn’t ugly
If only I wasn’t a *****
If only I wasn’t skinny
If only I wasn’t trash
If only I wasn’t insecure
If only I was a better person
If only I cared more
If only I didn’t give a ****
If only I was funny
If only I was better
If only...

Two sides to the same coin.
They praise me, help me, take care of me. They are my guide to light and protector from dark.
A trophy.
They hurt me, they abuse me.
They feed me to the dogs and watch as I squirm with contempt on their face.
I am a tool to be used and discarded nothing more nothing less.
A slave.
Both sides are me.
We are one in the same.
It is forced upon me to wear these masks.
What am I?

Feelings of hate,
Disgustingly late,
What will it do?
What shall you prove?
That your disturbed,
Genuinely perturbed,
Don’t make me smile,
I’ve been done for a while,
Let’s do the math,
Historical wrath,
Dislike of the colored,
You idiots uttered,
You expect no reprimand,
Yet want me to understand,
There is no trust,
That is now dust,
So *******,
And all ya people too