whimsically unaware of those around
we're repeatedly caught in embrace
slow dance circles trace kitchen floors
and a loving sway under backyard shade
completely lost in a single moment
as time slowed around

It was as if life knew we needed a few more seconds
A few more seconds before returning
returning to an unfortunate reality
and where is life now?
when I need those seconds most.

Grocery lists and reusable vegetable bags fill our date nights
**** Fine dining
I want a Trader Joe's type of love
I want a tiny grapes and cheap wine type of love
Holding my hand in the checkout because I get anxious type of love
that lets rank all the chocolate bars type of love
Picking out flowers in our matching Christmas pajamas type of love

Give me the type of love that cant be bought with
Fine dining and fancy gifts
Because I want your Trader Joes type of love

Walking on eggshells
trying to avoid half-healed scars
and here you are throwing blades
thirsting for blood

Weary welcomes
break uneasy air
loom like lures waiting for a catch
sitting in as a replacement
all eyes on my chair
watched by those who crave failure
waiting for another to take the seat
Like dogs
waiting for their meal

And was there really anything left
Held close against my skin
An empty feeling
An echoing heart beats in an empty body
Stranded
Alone

There is a man adrift
his island is small
and his fear is immeasurable

But men don't fear
so what is he
he is alone
floating ever so slowly from land
from a life he once had

This "boy"
he floats towards a future
scared to see what awaits him
he has grown comfortable on his island
despite how small it may feel
but these currents are inescapable
inevitably he will land where they decide
and the boy will find his future

There is a boy adrift
right now his island is small
but his future is inevitable
soon he will dock on distance
unfamiliar shores

You talk down to me
unaware that your insults fall on deaf ears
you try your best to make me as insecure as you are
but I am proud of where I am
and I hope one day you can say the same.

Words spoken like sharp knives
come from the dullest mouths
the worst people feel the highest about themselves
and will try and drag you down to where they really dwell
their insults come from insecurities
meaning you're doing something right
it is hard to look beyond that

but that is because you are so far above
and clouds can be hard to see through

Some people leave things with you
even if what they had to offer was fake
because the feelings you gained were real
you may have both changed
but at least yours was for the better.

You can move mountains for a person
who will only ask you to move it faster
someone who would never turn over a rock for you
that demands you do more
and it's hard to see that while you're busy giving them the world.

There's a certain tone set
as the sky trades places with the clouds
as rainy nights turn to clear skies
throwing blue across the sky like a painter to their canvas
The clearest nights come from the rainiest days
and the best days follow the worst.

My friends could tear down an empire
With adventures built taller than castles
and friendships stronger than steel

I will never be enough
that's something I now see

I will never be enough
or the person you wanted me to be

I will never be enough
that's one place we'll agree

But I am the person
that I want to be

And I will always be enough
at least for me.

"I don't know what to say"

says too much

I would rather you said nothing

My favorite foods no longer taste the same
And my tableside candle has no scent
sunset skies are colorless tonight
And long drives are no longer a release

my life is lived behind sunglasses
distorting everything in front of me
making things darker
making them less livable.

I laughed today
that doesn't mean I'm happy
and it doesn't mean those things,
have fully gone away
But I laughed today

Maybe tomorrow I'll smile
maybe I won't
but I laughed today

I hope one day I can be the one
that brings laughter to those around me
that may be far away
But today, I laughed

From the outside the boy is strong
Standing tall to lift those above him
plastering on a smile

on the inside, the boy feels insignificant
He does not want to look ahead
The boy is being ripped apart

The boy holds himself together
because there are people that need the boy
He is unaware that that makes him significant
at least to others.

"Get down from that thrown of yours"
"you have not fought to sit so high"
"you do not deserve such prestige"

These words speak like daggers
given more power than my thrown
spoken by people who do not know my fight

Deserve is a disgusting word
used by people
who are afraid of what they will never have

I went on a hunt
for a beast so rare
that only its stories loomed in the air

I went for a hunt
deep in the woods
for a creature, I thought to be misunderstood

I went on a hunt
for something so rare
But I know that happiness is somewhere out there.

I finally found happiness
But does it matter
If I cant share it with you?

She made me feel comfortable
Being who I was
She took off my mask
Because she liked who was under it
But endings are inevitable
And comfort breeds discomfort

My insecurities with her were pushed aside
But they have crept back in
Tormenting me every day
And so I wear a mask
No longer having somebody to take it off.

There is a tulip field hidden from the public
A sea of pink pedals hidden behind
Snow-capped mountains

Her hair blows among the petals demanding
Attention
Sunlight dances across her face with an energy only
Matched
By her energetic swing
The clouds move across the sky with the same
Complexity of her eyes

There is a heat in the air but the
Dew on the grass keeps her feet cool as she dances
In the sunflower forest
Every flower reaching out to her
unaware of the entire world outside of her

She has almost forgotten me yet I haven't taken my
Eyes off her
She is Finally and fully at peace
the world is still waiting in anticipation for her
Next step

My heart races the birds who fly above
As she returns to me
Sitting at my side to rest her head

I forgot about the world for a moment
There under the willow tree
Longing for the love of

-She

Momma pushed us away from home
Terrifying yet not unfamiliar
She acted brave but we understood her fear

We took one last look as we hurrying into the unknown
The smoke burns your eyes
But you must travel on
Knowing what was coming was far worse

Of  course, it was all worth it
For their factories are more necessary than our homes

We can rebuild of course
But only for so long
Soon we will have nowhere to run
Maybe then they will be satisfied
Maybe then we can rest

We may be loud
But we have no voice
So we continue to run, rarely looking back

-May we rest?

Her throne was green
Soft for her rest
A temporary home for her
A place to rule in peace

Her kingdom was yellow
And smelled of a hot summer day
Protective walls built to keep her safe

Her gifts were pink
Sat in the laps of her subjects
She feared their judgment
But welcomed their love

She was a queen of colors
Green, Yellow, and Pink
She will be given all the colors
when she returns to her kingdom

-Queen of Colors

A cranberry sunrise carpets field bustling with life
Unaware of the role she plays
Dancing feet allowed only by their anonymous queen
She flows through every system
Her light gives the smallest grasshopper springy legs
She gives the lion muscles large enough to take down any pray
She rules with a warmth that brings light to her kingdom
Until it is time for her rest

The fields seem quiet when it is the king's turn to rule
Ruling in dark and silence
He is no king, for he has lost his power
Now forced to chase his queen and watch over her subjects.

-Sky Lioness

Do you think the sea got jealous
when the fish grew legs to walk away
What's so bad about the sea?
Her depth is daunting
And her waves are harsh
But the sea feels beautiful

The sun dances across her surface
And schools of fish illuminate her shallows
The sea is the most beautiful blue
After the most violent storms
Or the sunniest evenings
The sea feels beautiful

But the sea can see his fears
She does not blame the fish for being afraid
Because she can admit her weaknesses
However

As large and beautiful
As mighty and proud
As beautiful as she may feel
She feels empty without him

-Empty

Life is a terminal disease
A birth defect that is inescapable
there is no treatment, no cure

Broken down unable to continue
The fight is an uphill battle
Yet the hill is ever-growing
An unobtainable peak

And we fight
We strive for the top knowing it doesn't exist
A helping hand pulling you along the way
Wishing you never stop

Together the fight is easy, seamless almost
But one day there will be no hand
Endings are inevitable
And goodbyes are a disease

-Endings

There are tales of a thrilling adventure
among the highest pillowy mountains
deep in the fuzziest caves
where movie soundtracks are drowned
in constant giggles

There are songs of a laughter
only heard by the most daring explorers
a laughter of absolute uncontrol
turning unwillingly into the cutest snorting

the smell of comfort loomed from spattered candles
unable to warm the air as intensely as their love
yet everything is temporary
adventures must come to an end
candles must be blown out
and pillow forts must be cleaned up

until their king and queen return
to rebuild what had been torn down.

-Upon my return