All I want is someone
Someone to hug
In a not so plutonic way.
I want to hold hands
With interlocking fingers
Swing arms like a pendulum
While we walk down the street.
I want to talk for hours
About everything and nothing.
I just want to talk to you
It doesn't matter
What words fill the empty space
As long as they're there.
As long as you're there.

Oh youthful innocence
Why did you leave me so fast.
I feel like adolescence
Was ****** upon me
Like a straight jacket
No room for mistakes.
Scoliosis from book bags
Full of homework
Sagging with responsibility.
Late nights spent with red eyes
And tissue boxes
Letting stress seep out through tears
But only when no one is watching
I am a pillar of strength.
I yearn for days of Lego towers
Barbie dolls and dress up.
Why can't I stay in neverland
Responsibilities perpetually
To far off in the distance
To concern me.
I want to not care so bad
But that is not an option.
So I press on and move forward.
I keep on growing up
And resenting it.

I am a woman.
I am a feminist.
I bleed out of my ****** on a semi-monthly basis
Unless of course there is a fetus
hiding in my ******.
This is a proven fact.
See i'm not particularly fond of the fact
that women were treated
as property.
That virginity is valued over education.
That I need to have a ***** to deserve equal pay.
That I can't show skin because it's 'distracting'
when ******* are sagging their pants to their knees.
That children blindly sing the lyrics to Blurred Lines
without thinking about what it means.
I believe that women are beautiful without photoshop
and failure to recognize the word stop should mean
Go Directly To Jail and do not pass go.
I am a woman
I am a feminist
and that doesn't mean that I can't play football
or kick your *** at Halo.
If I sleep around I'm not a ****.
There is no guide to "how to make her ****"
I am a woman
I am a feminist.
I do not believe in gender roles
I believe in dinner rolls
and counting carbs is cramping my style.
I am worth more than my ******.
Beauty is not a dress size.
Lesbian is more than fetish ****.
A single mother is a warrior not a *****.
I am a woman
I am a feminist
Do not dismiss my protest for angry rants.
The baggage between my legs shouldn't drag me down
I am a woman
I am a feminist
What happened to equality?
Does it not apply to me
Because
I am a woman?

I could write a poem about myself.
I could write a poem.
I could write.
I could.
I.

r ~ 4/28/14

Fade to faded photographs
You know the ones
A battlefield from long ago
Broken horses
Broken cannon
Broken men
Faded broken men.

Fade to faded photographs
You know the kind
A desert scene from long ago
Wild ponies
Feathered lances
Proud warriors
Faded broken lifeways.

Fade to faded photographs
You know the places
The ones so hard to find
Clear waters
Untamed wilderness
All God's creatures
Faded fading landscapes.

Fade to faded photographs
You know their names
Seats of power then and now
Wooden desks
Feather pens
Prideful men
Faded broken promises.  

r ~ 4/27/14

i am a tree
i am an observer
i do not speak
i listen and listen
and wait patiently
for something to witness
as i stand still silently

i see
war and
**** and
****** and
suicide and
all brutalities,
caused by
human nature

but i see
love and
joy and
character and
movement and
all endless possibilities,
caused by
human nature

i do not have a voice
i cannot move
i can only grow
higher and higher
closer to the sun,
i can only change
the colours of my leaves
to aware others
of new seasons

i provide oxygen
for all these infinite beings
and i do not know
how many years i will
be rooted here
as an insignificant
on-looker

Shy girl
Hiding behind
Thick lenses
Dark frames

Shy girl
Hiding behind
Thick books
Long pages

A boy
Across the room
Fruitful glances
Stuttered glances

The boy
Across the room
Likes her back

Dear stormy mornings
On the sea
You make me happy
With so many shades of grey
Tucked into one line of sight.
I can see power in your
Subtle waves that almost look
Opaque
And the wind
Blows across you
The sea birds
With their nimble wings
Serve as proof to your majesty
When they struggle
Against your gales.
The stony beaches
Smooth pebbles
And large rough boulders
Match the flavor of the line
Where the sky
meets the water.
Dear stormy mornings
On the sea.
You are incredibly
Beautiful.

It's funny isn't it
Life.
It's funny isn't it,
when your friends talk behind your back
when they laugh at inside jokes
you aren't privy to.
Hilarious.
It's funny isn't it
when people are nice to you.
Especially when it's obvious
that it's not genuine.
Pity friendship
what a crackup.
It's even funnier
when people detest you
bully you
beat you down
tear you up
rip into you
with fists or words.
Lol
It's funny isn't it
when you can see disappointment
in the eyes of those you love the most.
When you need
acceptance and forgiveness
but aren't desperate enough
to beg.
it's funny.
So **** funny.
the paranoia that begins to set in
how every word
behind backs that are turned
becomes a rumor.
That feeling is just so funny.
It's funny isn't it
how you can see every flaw
in yourself under their guidance.
That self loathing
self hatred.
That awe inspiring disappointment.
Not good enough
Never good enough.
Not for me you anyone
Isn't is just so funny
to think about all the ways to die
all the ways that you could
should
want to.
Isn't it funny
to see faint trails grow
more and more red
when you draw a blade to your skin.
Isn't it funny
how you can't explain why
the pain and the scars
make it feel better
somehow.
Isn't it so funny
how miserable you've become
by someone elses hand.
Isn't it funny
how they tell you that
if you ignore it
it will all go away.
Isn't it funny
how ignorance isn't bliss
it is hell.
Isn't it funny
how it messes with your mind.
Isn't it funny
how they can get to you.
Isn't it funny
how everyone just stands by
and watches it happen.
It isn't funny
but they're laughing anyway
so you laugh along
and pretend that it doesn't hurt.