bullets ricochet off my chest
never to hit my steel heart
but like a grenade,
your bomb hits me
breaking my heart
**heartache

you stand in front of me
only slightly to the left
yours one of the many
the small candles lighting up in the darkness
encircling those who I've gotten closer with this summer
singing sweet songs of happiness
I force a smile onto my face
mirroring those around me
trying to hide the tears streaking down
my rosy cheeks
it feels like an eternity,
but it went by like the snap of a finger
and everyone walks away
retreating back into the darkness
the circle of candlelight breaking off
and heading in the other direction
a single candle slows,
letting the others slip ahead
You turn around,
the candle resting in your fragile hand
And I run to you
with aching legs
and an aching heart
I embrace you
praying to god
that I might see you again tomorrow

You kiss me on the top of my head
whispering, I love you
our matching brown eyes meet
twinkling by the fading candlelight
somewhere in my gut I knew
that I wouldn't see you
but somewhere in my heart
hoped that I would

Once planted on earth
But when those few words fell smoothly from your lips
I lifted off
Just floating in space
The air swirling around me
I speak but no sound forms
my words slur together
In this open space
Gravity has no hold on me
but am I free?
This state of madness
A different world
Engulfed in nothingness
but am I free?
You can't hold me back
No one can
but am I free?

Come here
Join me up here
Here in the sky
Up in the clouds
In the heights
Come up here with me
It's better here
There's no anger
No hate
No bullying
Up here in the sky
There is only peace
Join me
Join me in this escape
From the hell that lies below
From the madness that holds you back
But me..
I am free
I'm free up here in the sky

As I sit up here, my pleasures equine
I look up
to see the face of the moon so divine
as I sit up here
balancing on the tip of this pine
I think
oh ****, why does this poem rhyme!

In a life of blackness
within the darkness swirling around
I ponder
deep into the darkest night
wishing, wondering, waiting
for something to happen
but not here,
not in this charcoal dust filled room
clogging my throat and my nose
I can barely breathe
but the black dust dances,
creating a story of the demons
and devils that fill my soul
The blackness thick around me
like a cloud
suffocating
me...
but I die
knowing that I was right
I died within the blackness of the demons that haunt my soul
I died with the devil inside of me
---------------------
And with me inside the devil.

Remember
Remember those sad moments we shared together
The times you would cry into my shoulder
I would always comfort you, I was always there
Or the happy ones
when you would come home to me with a glistening smile on your face
You'd laugh with me by your side
You once had those deep brown eyes
They'd light up when you'd smile
I felt like I could look into them and I would see your thoughts
I could tell what you were thinking
what you were feeling
your sorrows and your joys
I could see
I would know
Now your eyes are clouded with a thick fog
The glint in your eyes is gone
And I know
I'll never see it again
Once
A forgotten memory

My fingertips swirl
grabbing colour after colour
tracing every detail
the small necessities
needed only by me

the green twirls
making nature come to life
the red streaks along the pavement
like blood splattered along the road
I add yellow
giving happiness to my world

But, this isn't my world
what I described
this picture that I created
It's all in your head
Whatever you saw me draw
all those colours
all the pictures
They're the colours of your mind

What did I draw?
What did *you see?

The sound of shrieking engulfs me
like large flames flickering against me
the tongues of fire reach my soul
setting my heart ablaze
but I still run
through the wall of fire that traps me
inside its blood red heart

Then your hands hit me
they land softly against my back
giving me a sense of safety
But when I look down
Your hands are the flames
Your eyes a bright orange
so I run
through the wall of fire that traps me
that keeps me hidden
inside your blood red soul

Suddenly, you embrace me
your palms against my waist
feel like ice
Your fingertips graze my face
and I look up into your clear blue eyes
and I don't feel safe
But, I know that I am

I am always safe with you
So keep me by your side

I lie awake in bed
pondering silently in the dark
thinking of what, -of whom I may become
who I'm taught to be
what is right
what is best
but it's not me..

But it's just not me...

The one thing that saddens me,
is to see those silver tears falling down your face

The only time I'm ever upset
is when I see you sad

You can punch me
and I'll take blows like no one else

But the only time I will cry
is when you cry too

If you know me well, you will know that most of the time I am just one big happy rainbow. If one of my friends are upset though, that is the only time I cry. Even if we have met only yesterday, I will cry for you...
So don't cry,
for I will cry too at the sight of your tears.

I peer out
As I sit here on this tree
looking out on the views beyond
The sun setting against the gentle landscape
The rolling hills, outlined by a deep forest
looking at the tall purple mountains
the copse of trees in the valley
the grass blows in the wind
underneath the sky
sitting
here
tall
proud
loved
bold
brave
wise
wild
I can see all the wonders of the world from here on this tree

Sometimes, the distance resonates between my words and your eyes
rumbling within me
quaking, churning, bubbling up inside
filling my every ache
all my pain
overflowed
to be brought back
to my zen
my peace.
my home in your endless
deep blue eyes

(...)
the room is filled with a deadly silence
then you walk in
(...)*

And the silence breaks
scattering the shards that once were
-...-

You should be enlightened with all the rays of the sun
The clouds shall encircle your neck as a wreath
If you were to sit upon a throne of all glory
would you crown me your queen?

Crack
My heart breaks

The only noise I can here is the sound
of my heart shattering into thousands of pieces

I watch as my heart falls
slowly
crashing to the floor with a
CRacK

Why did you have to
make my heart break into
Millions of pieces
*CrACk

Black
Grey
Fading
Mist
lurking in the shadows
but if one were to look closely enough
they would see these hidden figures
almost resembling a person
Merely a shadow
forgotten amongst its virtues
and its beliefs
but if you can squint
tilt your head to the side
look really closely
then you might be able to see
these hidden shadows
they can tell their tales
of life
loss
and sorrow
so if you can see them
don't forget to say hi

my life
rips apart at the seams
just like in my dreams
or is it a nightmare
trying to give me a scare
crumbling down
like the little old town
down in the slums
hearing the beating of drums
keeping time with my heart
wishing I could restart
or go back to the way
I wished my world would stay

So I send to you this rhyme
In hopes that everything will remain
until the end of time
to release the chain
my only hold to you
...

A shove
you push me across the line
I stumble forward a few steps
looking at you staring at me cross-armed
I back up, trying to cross back over to you
I bump into something solid
hard
the line has turned into a wall
I can't see you anymore
sometimes
if I look hard enough
I can see small holes forming
but they are too hard to get through
too small
I don't know if I would ever be able to reach your side again

You can't just shove me over here
in a new atmosphere, a new town, new people, new places,
nothing is familiar
and you toss me in here
like yesterday's trash
expecting me to mix
to fit in perfectly

*but what if I can't?

Ma vie disparaît lentement
Comme la lune argentée s'effaçant dans
Un soleil brillant d'orange et de jaune

Une fois que la lune se couche
Un nouveau jour s'amplore avec le soleil levant

//Translation\

My life slowly fades away
like the silver moon fading into
a bright sun of orange and yellow

Once the moon sets
A new day dawns with the rising sun

You hover above me
kindly watching me paint
but before my brush can touch the canvas
a single tear falls
from where you stand
painting my white canvas for me
you may as well
could have splattered the canvas with red

run
All I remember is the crashing sound
of the old brown door slamming behind me
I'll do anything to get out of here
Get me away, away, away

I raced through the trees
The greenery wizzing by me
My knees began to weaken but I ran on
My chest heaving, I look up to the clouds
Help me*
I choked down a sob

I, I'm not strong enough
I, I can't do it
Just let me go

But, I, I, I-
I c a n 't
The hoarse whisper of my voice
dies with the sweeping of the wind
My legs fail
I fall

Crushing the autumn leaves
beneath my body
I sigh

I am finally away
I'm gone
I have achieved what I came here to do
And my eyes close
for the last time

Only on the phone for a minute
But your hand shakes
as if it had
a thunderstorm
brewing inside it

The phone falls from your hand
crashing down onto the
dusty pavement

Your cheeks are red
your eyes brim with tears
You blink hard and bite your lip
muttering
I'm fine
And you run off to your room
footsteps like a mouse

I didn't know
that I wouldn't see you again
for the next week