Motivation escapes from my tears
as the men in black gather from my fears
I'm scared if I speak I will be hurt
that I will be dropped face down in the dirt
I can't focus on my sleep
I can feel my life up at a peak

My insanity bringing my painful thoughts to life
The grave keeper comes with a scythe
I can't feel my face anymore
it's gone numb and sore.

Please help me escape this hell
before that final bell
shall ring
and the angels will sing
before I slip up and give in
to my insane thoughts and the neverending sin
that burrows out from my tears deep within

The illusion that we share together
won't last forever
No matter how much i try
Those thorns will always separate us eventually

Those thorns will dig straight into my heart
Like the lies I told you to keep you afloat
You are the one i want to keep together
but no matter what we will separate

I have always tried to keep us together
but the lies i tell you
Keep on pushing me backwards from keeping you with me

but baby
please stay with me
no matter the pain we go through
i won't let those thorns separate us forever

Rip in the flesh, tear back the skin
To see the true beauty within
Hidden beneath the reason why
Sometimes the reason is good enough to die

I've been there, locked away in hell.
Trying to scream and trying to yell
But failing to produce sound
Looking around
Seeing nothing but black
Feeling as if I'm going to be attacked
I can't fend for myself
I can't win
This isn't good for my health
It makes the beast within
Grow mad for blood
Pushing you down into the mud
Feasting on your feelings
Ripping off your wings
So you're stuck forever in hell
No ability to leave and no ability to yell

Blood stained blades
create broken hearts
but broken hearts
create blood stained blades

I'm here to say
And I'm here to stay
Because when you and I are away
I feel my heart give away
That's why I cherish each moment I'm by your side
I feel so happy and I feel alive
So I write this poem to you
Hoping you feel the way I do
When you message me and say those words
I feel this overwhelming happiness that I can't put into words
So I write this poem to you
Hoping that I see you soon
Because I love you..
I really do..

We all silently sit alone in our rooms
Tampering with the mask we hide behind
Making it have a painted on smile
Little do they know it’s painted in blood
Yes we hide behind a ****** hand print
Slathered across the ceramic mask
It cracks away only for a moment
And shows our true colors within
The ones we try so hard to hide from the world
So we don’t have to make them worry about us
But deep inside us we want to feel loved
So we crack the mask and let the world know
That yes we are happy and yes we laugh
But deep behind the mask we all are dead inside.

If you think about it
The only person stopping you is yourself
From taking a razer blade to the wrist
Shooting yourself in the head
Swallowing pill after pill till you’re dead
And yet…
If you’re reading this
You must have stopped yourself
You must have thought that this world is beautiful
Yes you might have tried
Yes you may have failed
Yes you have the scars to prove your pain and the constant strain
But… something inside you stopped you from pulling that trigger
Stopped you from severing that vein fully all the way down
Made you drop those pills you have in your hand
Or even… Stopped you from kicking that chair away
Something
Something deep inside you, crying to the last bit of life you have “No!”
And you listened…
Listened to yourself, stopped yourself from this pain
All I have to say to that is
I’m happy you’re here with me
I’m happy to be here with you
I’m happy… That you decided to read this poem
And always know that, no matter what…
You Are Beautiful

I’m not suicidal
But…
If a car came
While I was crossing the street
I wouldn’t move
Yes I’m not suicidal
But…
If there were an assortment of pills
Lying in front of me
I would grab one of each
And swallow them all
No I’m not suicidal
But…
If I had a razor blade
I would slice my own wrists
Just to see how it looks
Yes I’m suicidal
But…
If I were to have a friend
To talk to
To try and be comforted by them
I would cry
And feel good
But…
Will it be enough
To save me from myself?

i'm one bullet away
one...
bullet...
away...
from ending it all...
and leaving this world for good...

Look into his eyes
Now you see why he cries?
Memories he tries to erase
Stand and shout in his face
He can’t go on living this way
Day in and day out no one ever came
He tries to live on, soulless and broke
But that only made him choke
He’s tried to leave so many fails
Leaving blood along the trails
Now he sits awake at night
Feeling deprived and as sore sight

Beauty lies beneath the skin
Why so many people try and carve their arm
Like a silent cry from within
They all see it as self harm

But beauty lies away waiting for a sound
Our tears like waterfalls dripping to the ground
Beauty will come up and wipe our tears away
We just have to find it and take this pain today
.
.
.
.
But sometimes we don’t find anything beautiful within
We look right past it and just see the skin
We see the red and we see our pain
As the blood drips down and starts to drain

We try desperately to love ourself
But we can’t find a reason to live in oneself
So we sit alone, desperate to find a reason to stay
But how can we when we hate ourself everyday?

Forgive my ******* soul.
Forgive me for not being whole
Forgive me for the things that I said
My god all I see is red

Forgive me for my sliced veins
For the constant fear and the constant strains
Forgive me for those short nights
Where I hide away from the lights

Forgive me for being me
I can’t be who I’m supposed to be
Forgive me for the blood on my hand
Forgive me for the constant demand

Forgive me for these lifeless cries
I’ll be gone soon but don’t be surprised
Forgive me for this death
As I write this in blood and take my last breath..

Yes I wear black a lot
Yes I like loud music
No it’s not that way.
No I’m not mean
Yes… I’m sad
Yes I try and forget the past.
Don’t we all?
Are you emo?
Do you cut?
Do you drink?
Do you have suicidal friends?
How many?
Have you ever tried?
How?
How many times have you tried it?
Do you smoke?
Why do you have to be a disruption?
You do know no one likes you right?
Oh so you hate everyone?
Why do you have to be that way?
Are you stupid?
What?
I asked nicely, right?
Stupid
Idiot
Worthless
Alone
You do know you’re better off dead right?
Why don’t you just do it?
Why don’t you just leave us alone?
Don’t you have any friends?
Did you push them away?
No you idiot
Shut up
I just…
I want to fit in..
No..
Yes I’ve tried that.
No it didn’t hurt.
I didn’t mean to..
I’m sorry..
Forgive me..
Please..

Let me bleed out on the floor
Till it won’t drain from me severed wrist anymore
Watch my face slowly go lifeless
My wretched life passing past in a heaping mess
I tried so hard to make people happy
But little do they see
This is killing me
So let me lay here, bleeding out
Without anyone worrying about my whereabouts

Each time the blade touches skin
No one can win
The person has given in
And people see it as sin
But behind each scare there is a meaning
Maybe trying to explain ones being
Not everyone is seeing
That the reason the scars are on the arms
Is because they have been dealt harm
So the next time you discriminate
Or humiliate
Think of what you will do to that person
Because they will never be able to win

Unbroken Spirit

i lay here staying perfectly still
laying down on a double edged sword
balancing myself over a pit of death
i keep my balance with some help
but as they start to disappear
i start to loose my balance
but i will not let myself fall
for i have a unbroken spirit

I sit there alone in my room
The future seeming to loom
Because I sit alone in dread
Terrible thoughts running through my head

Alone I sit, trying to find life between the pages

Words running past my lips
But only bits of sound like wisps

I try and find a reason to keep going

If there were someone out there
Someone who can show they care
I could possibly find a reason why
Instead of sitting here as I cry

These people called friends move by fast
Like the pages of a book
They don’t try and look

They don’t care whether or not I cry
So why even try
If I sit all alone in my room
While no one cares about my absolute doom

So I’ll sit alone in my room, tears streaking my withered face
Until I disappear from this world without a trace.
.
.
.
.

I’ll just sit in my room, withering away
Oh how I’ve always hoped for this day