There's something in this fall air
Rotten and putrid
Defiled and rancid
Yet fair
That I should breathe this air

And could the musk have formed
From all the sins I take into my lungs

Maybe I'm not worth the time to remember

You called me names and said that I was wrong
And I was
But you were beautiful
And held my heart

And the stupid things I'd say
And the way I thought life was
But we're older now and can't move on
How could I move on???

You were perfect in every way
And I was flawed.

I loved you more
Than words could say
But what could I do to move on

And you moved on

I made all the mistakes
And found myself on my knees
You were right
And finally
I thought that I could
Change your mind

And I lost

What future do I have
When all is lost
I just keep living without meaning
Now that you're gone

So I must go on
And every day I seek out
A pattern of difference
But I keep seeing
That there's no difference

I just didn't appreciate what you did
So I ****** up
And made you leave

So what have I done
To amend this fate

You were perfect
In every way

And I can hardly breath these days
You were motivation
When the smoke had cleared

And I just keep breathing
I'm swallowing the air
To in take and move on
To someone just like you

One chance this time
Is all it'd take

If I could just find you
And mend these mistakes

But I know you're gone
And all these ****** up songs
Wont change a thing
To make thing right

Cause I was wrong
And now you're gone

I've got a broken back tonight
I just can't seem to get out of bed
Unless the beer is empty
Or the nicotine is all but dry

And I could cry, and I could feel sorry
That losts love is all I've had for years
But I'm smiling and I'm hopeful
And the world can't drag me down

It feels right and it feels so wrong
To be happy at a time like this
But I know, it just means I'm healing
And that sad state isn't needed no more

I could cry, but instead I'm smiling tonight

A cold drone
Escapes my lips
Its not right
That I should feel like this

The old bug
I know's got you before
Under tongue
And all she has in store

We write love
Like tattoos on our hearts
And kisses weld
A wall begins to start

And absent thoughts
The past takes fade
I missed you
What else can I say

Obession drives
And I let passion steer
An old nerve
All but disappears

They say love
Heals all festered wounds
But I think
It's all gone too soon

And I taste
My blood once again
Sure hate
When the past becomes a sin

But like clocks
Time just ticks away
And eats stone
Till all but sand stays

Its not quite
The same anymore
A sour drink
In all that you pour

And I hang
My head once and for all
Where your love
Once stood so tall

And now stands
A tower of familiar design
Where once love
Used to reside

But your gone
And I'm all alone
And cuts surface
With a blood red tone

I know you
Never said who you really were
I'm to blame
Lying and insecure

Guess I
Should just sleep it off
Get rest
While the walls all crumble down.

Down
Down
Down. . .

It sounds so sweetly
Coming from your lips
I hold it dearly
And pretend that I don't miss
All the nothings we once said

But it clouds the senses
To deny what they once loved
And turns to pensive
All that could have come
Souring to dread

I'm sorry I couldn't change
And that we needed closure
Just to feel a little sane
And that the posture
Caused you any pain
Please forgive me
For the things I cannot change

I wonder almost daily
And I wonder if you do too
If all love will plainly
End without its due
Just to find out that it's dead

Your thought comes so often
But you've probably moved right on
Did you try drugs to soften
I did for the void that your gone
To stop me from seeing red

I'm sorry I couldn't overcome
And that we needed space
So we didn't come undone
I hope the pace
Didn't caused you any pain
Please forgive me
For the things I cannot change

I wore a short sleeve shirt today
I'm not hiding my tattoos that way
For once I let em show
And wear with pride that I once fell
But I'm alive today
And there's so much that can say

My arms are tight against my shirt
Maybe they won't notice me
I'm just a normal teen
Day one the drama queen
And yes some cuts were deep
And yes one day someone will get close enough to see
But thats not today
I let my tattoos free
I let it show that I once fell
That I'm alive today
And there's so much that they say

My head is hiding down
I walk the halls like they still haunt me
Each person connected yet apart
And I'm all alone and in the dark
What makes one become a two
And two become a three
I've got so much to learn
Where do I begin?
How do I make friends?

Not everyone's an *******
Not everyone is mean
And karma's a ***** to those that are
Not now but one day
I imagine it being just
Not some glorious reparations
That maybe their first kid will suffer such
To have the tattoos of such luck
And they'll have to watch them walk the halls that haunt them
So maybe today I feel alone
But I know that it's not so
Everyone will struggle much the same

I'm letting my tattoos wonder free
Not pretty like the real ones
Not glorious or rebellious
Not glamorous or artistic in anyway
But twenty years down the road
I'm still wearing them for show
As meaningful and real as any could ever be
My self harm scars cover me
But I'm alive today
And there's so much that they say

So maybe I hate myself,
Maybe for a change I can hate somebody else
The liar, the *******, the crying and cold
The loosers, the lonely, the ancient and old
The wed to their stigma, it's always the same
Couldn't change their minds unless they felt the pain
Of loss, of loving, of never loving again
Of finding that someone and holding their hand
Just to pull it away,
It's so sad to say,
Maybe the truth is the fault lies with me
I'm ugly and stupid and probably diseased
I know that I'm dying cause I still breath,
why do I still breath?
I know that I'm living cause I hold my breathe,
Hold my head under cold water and wish for death,
It's a comfort, a hug, from my mom
Not knowing the difference is where I'm coming from
This is a cry
Only a cry for help
this is a cry
a cry for help
This aint over, it never is
I'm tossing and screaming for this to end
The ryming is gone
I'm I've nothing left to say
Just maybe tomorrow I wont feel this way

Something tells me
It'll be bitter sweet
To taste your lips
To taste you skin
Like a liar I've been waiting for this kiss
Like a liar I've been holding myself for you

And I know
You'll be disappointed to hear
All the women I've had
All the pretty but petty ones that got near

So I lie and tell you
You've always and only
Been the one
And sweet lies
Are better when chased with ***
So that your better senses
Are all but numb
And you accept the fate
That I'm the closest one
To you
Right now
To you

I've never been one for chivalry
But I'll open every door
And try so hard for you
And I've never been one for gallantry
But I'll stick up for your honor
And fight down all the haters
I'll be so good
That my senseless lies
Like this will last forever
Will seem true

And I have
All these beautiful ideas inside my head
Even though
This dream
Will never come true

So who am I really fooling?
Have I only myself to blame?
I made you up while I played my game
And no one will ever live up to you