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A courtesy in smiles
A nod to welcome aire
And of the morning
Speaks a voice for all to hear
But wakeful eyes descent
Must flutter past the young man's honor
To do thy justice which befits
The man who's house is father
Is not my head unbowed
And my title earned with ev'ry scar?
Have I not been patient
Through the tides of ev'ry scorn?
If knuckles bled in truth
Then blood stained would be the very fountain
Whos lips doth drink
From the flow beneath the mountain
And earned the cherry red
Whos kiss had once been placed
Becomes the apple of an eye
Who has never known the taste
. . .
So I'm speaking to myself
Red light warning
There is nobody else

And I want to change
I want to be the person I was before
You
And even the score

The heart keeps beating
Just a little bit softer now
The voice keeps singing
Just a little bit rougher now

The grey hairs growing
And the lines of my face
The sun still coming
Despite my attempts to escape

Call it prison
Call it living in the past
Holding your memory
Because it is my last

Can't wait to see you in the wild
Pistol gripped and ready to scope
As if a single bullet
Could repair all the hope

You destroyed

With out mercy or care
Like an assassin
You leave a wake
Of blood stained ashen

But I let you go
No words for you in my world
And I hide behind my wall
Before choas is unfurled

Just one line
Was the power you had over me
Speak
And ruin my life for weeks
It's not a tight chested flame
That blocks the throat from breathing tonight.
It's that wicked feeling
That wicked need to start something
To let my mind drive into
That cool dark place and write.
Where words flow freely
And memory plays tricks on the mind,
Splicing licked up scents
And half eaten smells
Into brilliant shades of ever more.
It's catching my breath
After the four foot nothing girl
Screams, "I ******* knew it"
Or how I didn't expect it.
People like me
Excepting every brilliant facet
The mind can shake
From the wind ripped branchs
Of its broken bow.
Poets know pain
And feel it like they lived it
with every word they read.
They splay the pungent parts of themselves
So that curious ones can smell,
Like, "The best part of*******"
Or knitted sweaters for a friend or lover
Or that Eskimos have more then 400 words for snow.
It's like how his grandfather's mind is like a rubix cube,
Or the excitement he felt
when Greg walked us through falling 400 feet to our death.
I have to be apart of this.
I have to be apart of this.
But then again what stories do I have to tell?
What awe shaking words
Can I string together to dance like poet's do?
Would my tabletop napkin notes
Lay like used ****** food particle cleansing wear
And hang out over the crowd waiting for the waitress
To mop up this obvious mess?
Would some inner meaning reveal it's self last minute,
Just to save me from this duress?
When in truth it's just that in words I found a voice that screams
It won't shut the **** up
And if I don't let it out
It wonders to the restricted parts of me.
So I walk it like a dog across digital pages
Chicken scratch love note to girls I'll never meet.
Paint my world for perfect strangers
To lie waste to and judge like writing poetry is for the weak.
The day I met him
I was scared and I was shy
I didn't know what to expect
But I knew it was for the best

The day he met me
He was kind and reassuring
He was warm and well meaning

I knew him long ago
I knew him so long ago

His face weather worn
Love in the creases of his face
And roughness of his hands
He held me like child in his arms

I once knew this of myself
I knew you once long ago
Charles KC Aiken Dec 2023
Sometimes
When there's a look on your face
And you're a million miles away
I stare
Hoping you notice
And smile back at me

I stand
Taller than ever
A broken man repaired
Healing
Though it'll never be over
Look how far I've come

And a wistful wind bellowing by
And the taunt of your dress feathery light
And the moon glow shines beeming so bright
On the gloss white skin you're wearing tonight

I need a sign to awake passions deep inside of me
To savior the moment before it passes by

To love
To need
So brief
So tantalizingly

And the cold wind's stalk awakens the mind
Brackish and bleak prolonging the time
And the drone of its biting so tight
Freezes the moment in its hellish sigh

You are the perfect repose
You are the fire before smoke
You are the dance in the rain
Where the thunder escapes
You are the diamond in rings
You are the promise it brings
You are my hope and my cure
You are the reason I endure
You are the smell of august sweat
The light headed feeling of ***
You are the bitter and sweet
You are the reason I dream
Charles KC Aiken Dec 2023
I guess I should say sorry
For all that I've done
But you hurt me so badly
When you were gone
I'd rather
Be angry
I'd rather be numb
Then admit that I'm broken
From all that you've done
You're calloused and cold
And I bled so many nights
Just thinking I loved you
Regardless of spite
So I'm hear to admit
To my part in the break
I was careless and stupid
I wouldn't bend for your sake
I saw you were sad
But I thought it was a phase
And we'd make somehow
But now I know that was fake
For what its worth
You were the best of us both
And not a day goes by
My heart doesn't hope
That your happy, you're healthy
And taking care of yourself.
And that you finally found something
In somebody else
Worth living and thriving
To be your best self
And you're loving more deeply
Than we ever felt
I'm not a bad person
Though the mistakes that I made
Gave you all the reasons
To push me away
I own my part
And I know you were right
But that doesn't mean
You could just give up with no fight
You wore my ring
And you made a vow
For better or worse
We'd make it somehow
But that vow was a lie
And you knew from the start
Far more clearly
Than my cuckold eyes
I always loved you more deeply
Than you ever loved me
You owed me my freedom
Years before you would leave
And you could of saved me
Years from the grief
Beating myself
Into the person you see
I might look whole on the outside
But I'm absent of fear
And my heart never beat clearly
Since you were near
And death's but a friend
That I confide
Wishing so deeply
That I could die
Charles KC Aiken Dec 2023
So softly
The air leaves
These lungs fill
Just slightly
I messed up
I gambled
I drank up
I shot up

When will I ever learn?
When will it be my turn?

To heal from
These addictions
To find peace
In this fiction

I know I'm growing old
And these traps are for the young
I know my time is running out
But I'd rather just be numb

I cut up
The scars fade
I black out
Till the next day
I'm running
I'm dying
I smoke up
I'm flying

When will I ever learn?
I wish there was some cure

I'm drowning
In myself
I wish I
Was someone else

I know that I'm hurting
And its gone on for too long
When will I love myself?
Instead of getting numb

The bullet
Is waiting
The gun is
Just failing
The pills drop
Like candy
I wake up
They failed me

When will I ever learn?
To just wait my ******* turn

I'm tired
Of this life
Why can't I
Just die

Tomorrow maybe
I can't see that far
To wake up again
Is just too hard
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