I've got leaking veins and a thirst for something strong.
Cause the way the world's been going, it's hard to tell just what is wrong.
So a little numb goes nicely paired without an ounce of sun.

I take what I can get and hide my opinions deep within my lungs.
So, as the day goes on passing, I never regret what I had done.
If you never take a leap of faith, you never have a danger to make you run.

So I swallow down the sedation just like you swallow any drug.

My philosophy makes for weak men, makes for weak hearts, and weak minds.
I never claimed to be the strongest one when I offered up my life.
But I gave the cause just what I could just trying to make things right.

If you never give yourself a chance to live, you'll never be afraid to die.  

Now I've got a friend, let's call her sweetheart, with cancer on her breast.
She just started chemo to get something off her chest.
When probably what she really needs is two hugs and just a little rest.

And maybe just a few days that doesn't feel like an endless test.

I don't really have that many friends, but I consider her my best.
We haven't talked in weeks, and I'm more afraid than death.  
When old age was supposed to be the only way our conversations end.  

Now we're not talking, we're not wasting any breath,

And the silence is deafening, I may never hear her voice again.
The way she laughs or cries, or even how she's been.
So I'm shaking, and I'm crying, hoping my memories aren't all that's left.

I'd give anything to see her and say what has been left unsaid.

I'm thinking about breaking out. Maybe standing on a stage.
Anything at all. To get me outside of this place.
Maybe sell my soul for something or a song that's all the rage.

To feel just a little less like an animal, stuck inside his cage.

Just a few bars of notes and a simple melody.
Will heal all my leaking veins that still bleed inside of me.
And my heart will start pumping for something other than a dream.

I'm searching for something but I don't know what that could be.

According to the rules
I should have never loved you
But I did
And it hurts now more than ever

I'm over
Just trying to build back better
Trying to stand a little taller
And make new connections when I can

But the way I am
Is so sad in my reflection
I barely look him in the eyes
Is someone else in my reflection

Can you still be you
When the mirror tells the story
Of drunken nights and the lowest highs
Of when you cried
All those lonely sleepless nights

Can I still be me
When in the mirror stands a stranger
Just lines and hair and wry lips
Just agape in all the shyness
Just a lie, just a lie, just a lie

Who am I these days?
Who will I become?
When all is said and done
And the grave comes up to meet me

Will I be a hero to the masses
Or a fool who luckily passes
Will I be the brunt or focus
Of all the stories

With ulogies, apologies,
Confessions, and transgressions
Will it be a priest that tells my goodbye
Or family that tells of lovely lies

That leave out all the darkest days
And how I struggled almost everyday
And how I laughed at all dumb jokes
Or cried out

A courtesy in smiles
A nod to welcome aire
And of the morning
Speaks a voice for all to hear
But wakeful eyes descent
Must flutter past the young man's honor
To do thy justice which befits
The man who's house is father
Is not my head unbowed
And my title earned with ev'ry scar?
Have I not been patient
Through the tides of ev'ry scorn?
If knuckles bled in truth
Then blood stained would be the very fountain
Whos lips doth drink
From the flow beneath the mountain
And earned the cherry red
Whos kiss had once been placed
Becomes the apple of an eye
Who has never known the taste

. . .
So I'm speaking to myself
Red light warning
There is nobody else

And I want to change
I want to be the person I was before
You
And even the score

The heart keeps beating
Just a little bit softer now
The voice keeps singing
Just a little bit rougher now

The grey hairs growing
And the lines of my face
The sun still coming
Despite my attempts to escape

Call it prison
Call it living in the past
Holding your memory
Because it is my last

Can't wait to see you in the wild
Pistol gripped and ready to scope
As if a single bullet
Could repair all the hope

You destroyed

With out mercy or care
Like an assassin
You leave a wake
Of blood stained ashen

But I let you go
No words for you in my world
And I hide behind my wall
Before choas is unfurled

Just one line
Was the power you had over me
Speak
And ruin my life for weeks