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Colin E Havard Mar 2014
With an outsider's eye, I can see
All those intricacies of humanity:
Of bonding and *******;
Of the chase and the courtship;
Of the unpursued, unrequited, jealousy;
Of the stupor, depression and loneliness;
Of the escapist, deluded and attention seeker;
Of the ambitious, treacherous and dangerous;
Of the self-contained and the self-obsessed.
A microcosm flowing through a beer garden.
4/2/2010
The Missing Link - Gaia's Boy Toy
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
He's ******* his life up the wall:
This mysterious, wondrous life;
This miracle of an uncaring Universe;
Wasted, drowned in an alcoholic haze.

This wasted life, once full of potential,
Now wilts in the sun of an open bar;
Now subsumes those youthful yearnings
Of a fervent soul gasping for air.
4/2/2010
The Missing Link - Gaia's Boy Toy.
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
Like moths battering against the light,
We continually throw ourselves at a capitalist ideal,
Which, for the most part, burns and disillusions;
Entices with wondrous rewards, but leaves us hungry;
Bamboozles and beguiles - a tantalizing phantasm.

Like moths, we're attracted to the glorious lie;
A lie perpetuated by self-serving media
And a frivolous entertainment industry,
Hell-bent on manipulation and distraction;
Feeding our restless cravings - enthralling and elusive.

Like moths, we aspire the light and neglect the dark;
Bewitched by sparkly luxuries and the spoilt rich;
Committed to bigger and better, regardless
Of the poverty encamped along the street
And the nagging stresses - undermining certainty and sapping souls.

Like moths, too few escape the glare...
22/1/2010
The Missing Link - Gaia's Boy Toy
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
He hears those voices, distant, intimate
And trembles at their meaning;
Recognising truths, but unwilling to accept;
Embarrassed, unable to respond;
Reluctant to admit his failures and their insights;
Reminded of times left high and dry,
Where he screamed for recognition and connection:
When he cried in frustrated sobs, lamenting his lot;
Times imprisoned, within and without; close, but trapped.

He hears those voices, clear above the clamour,
And he knows they call to him, entreating;
And he knows he should respond, but his silence is protective;
His silence denotes the inner turmoil's unreconsoled,
And the coincidences yet explained and little understood.
And he's acutely aware that his silence is deafening:
Those attuned bewail, entice, threaten.

He hears those voices, but cannot, will not, respond.
He doesn't remember, as they obviously do;
He doesn't see how he fits the picture;
He knows he's attached, an unwitting cog;
He knows the cocoon's embrace is constricting,
And he pushes its warm security to his detriment;
Knowing his metamorphosis has taken far too long,
But knowing, all too keenly, premature emergence
Will have disastrous results - he still has the scars.

A Parthenon of voices amid a plethora of noise,
But he only follows some, until he stumbles upon another,
Then the pressure builds anew and he curses;
Screams - exasperated, vulnerable, open, exposed;
Naked and angry, unwilling to concede and unable to deny;
****** at the certainty resounding and the consequences entailed;
Annoyed, enraged; humbled, shamed.

He hears those voices, but is stubborn, unrelenting;
He knows the time isn't right and refuses to be pre-empted;
He sympathises with those aware for years;
He feels their frustration and resents their intrusion,
But the more they push, the further he retreats,
His dumb isolation has become the core of his existence.

"F**k them!", he thinks. "They've found their niche";
They've found an outlet, an audience, a forum;
They can ***** and moan, and draw thousands to their cause;
They can enjoy the fruits of their labours and wait;
Along with everyone else, they can wait;
He'll not be rushed.
21/1/2010
The Missing Link - Gaia's Boy Toy
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
I'm the Ultimate GOD/MAN of Primeval Instincts
         I'm the God of Life
I'm the God of Death
         I'm the God of Eat
I'm the God of ****
         I'm the God of Mate
I'm the God of ***
         I'm the God of Hunt
I'm the God of Gather/Collect/Keep Safe
         I'm the God of Dreams/NightMARES
I'm the God of Hopes and Desires
         I'm the God of Justification/Education
I'm the God of FIRE & WATER & EARTH & AIR
         I'm the God of TRUTH, LIBERTY and FRAT_PRANKS
I'm the God the ANCIENTS Need to Re:JUVY
         I'm the God of TIME <I'M MORTAL II + I = 3>
I'm the God of  ESSENTIALISM
         I'm the God of the Dog of WARFAIR!
I'm the God of Impossibility/Improbability
         I'm the God of Victims ==>Retribution!
I'm the God of Bullies BEWARE!
         I'm A God in my own Lunch-Time
And I'll Be Your God if You Really Need ONE.

(But I'd rather not Be
The Good, Bad, Indifferent HERO
You, yourself, can be in TIME).
23/2/2014
The Devil's Advocate, Day 8, Concord Mental Health Centre
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
As far as I'm concerned
Your sexuality means nothing
To me --> No effect; no affect!
Know thyself and be content -
Your happiness is beside the point.
Your Life - Live it as you wish;
Just don't try to force me
To subscribe to your way
Of Life if I'm not interested.
Good luck to you - have fun:
Your fingers; your tongue;
Your ck and your ct;
Your brain --> use it 4 pleasure.
I'm hedonistic to believe
That what goes around
Eventually **** everywhere,
Everywhen and everytime.
So...go f**k yourselves!
(In a good way, or not...Freedom!)
7-8/3/2014
Enough is Enough, 9 of 9 (Night)
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
For the movers and shakers -
My utmost respect and love.
To the artisans and craftsmen -
My appreciation for good works.
To the warriors - need I...
To the Mums and Dads -
Thanks. If not for you...
For the big-girl's-blouses -
You know your worth.
To the funny-bunny's -
I ****** myself, in a good way;
Those great educators.
To my Teachers - Hail! Hi!
For the unsung and unstrung -
Don't worry - I'll wait.
And the courageous explorers,
What can I say?
Tell me all about it, soonish;
You help anchor me in reality.
7-8/3/2014
Enough is Enough, 8 of 9 (Night)
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