My mind is stuck in between loving and hating you.

I look at my hands
and wonder about the
damage I've done.
I bet someone has done worse.
Then I think about
all of these hands in the world.
Some are made for making new things.
Some used for art; writing.
Others for love and care.
More than a few for ****** and revenge.
So many hands have become so many things.
I just wonder,
what has become of mine?

I hold onto one penny with dear life.
Looking in no one would exactly understand why.
I have held it with me for over a year now, as my reminder.
Something so meaningless, so worthless to any other,
is worth more than everything to me.

You left it behind one morning, and it was all I had of you then.
And it was the morning I knew how much you were worth to me.  
Because every time you left, I had nothing to hold onto anymore.
After holding on all through the night, and pulling myself closer to you,
even when there was no meaning between us,
I always needed a part of you with me.

Because though we seemed disconnected to those looking in,
though we seemed to lack meaning or worth,
You meant everything to me.
And that penny is my reminder.
A reminder of the beginning of this priceless love we now hold even dearer.
And now that is what stays with me,
every time you walk out the door.

This time I know,
you will come back to me.
And this time I know,
you are worth more than every penny in this world.
But I will still never let that first one go.

Joanne is wary
the seashells once listened
now no longer confide her secrets
the flickering candle has already cast
her life line
night times tides have peaked
the easiest of passages are lost
and as much as you meander
rest assured the reason
will one day untangle you

I don't believe in
Open dreaming or
Fairytales
I believe that
You can not escape the real world
So you shouldn't try
If I should have a child
I will tell them
"Only dream of the things yet
Unwritten"