I breath you in.
Deep drawing breaths.
Hoping to make them last.
Until I see you again.
As if to breath
Your very essence into my soul.
Brand your scent into mine.
To last a lifetime.

We used to chase dreams together.
Set our sites on another adventure.
Another goal to crush.
My dreams became yours.
Your dreams became mine.
And our stars turned into the same universe.

But when your stars burnt out.
My universe changed color.
And I was left,
Wondering where I was.
The dreams we used to chase together,
I had to chase myself.
And I wasn't ever sure if I'd make it.
If I'd conquer the adventures without you.
And our dreams would die with you.

But I'm chasing those dreams
I'm finding those adventures.
And I've picked up a few people on the way.
So our dreams,
Your dreams,
Are very much alive.
I've got them for you.
And each one I achieve.
Each adventure I take,
I'll be bringing you too.

You will never truly die.
Because a writer loved you dearly.
And every adventure,
Every story will forever
Have a piece if you in it.

My grief for the loss of you
Is indescribable.
But,
It'll never be more
Then the grief you must have
For not being here.
I lost you
But you lost all of us.
Ripped from here
In an instant.
You weren't given even
A moment to say goodbye.
To collect your thoughts,
Only moments to realize:
You weren't ready to go.
So my grief my be breathtaking
And my grief may drop me to my knees.
But yours must be more.
It must reverberate off the walls
Of heaven like a shock wave.
Shattering souls.
And I try to remember while
I may have lost you.
I am still here.
I am still alive.
And every moment I take for granted
Every minute I waste wishing I
Was dead, not here.
Wishing I could give up.
Is another loss for you
Another blow to your heart.
Because I am still here.
I am still able to make a difference
Be the change.
The change you saw in me.
So I'm doing my best
To remember
That i am still here.

The finish line is here.
I've finally crossed it.
Finally gotten to the end
Of this chapter
Graduation.
Finally a nurse.
Only the state boards
Stand in my way
Of the very beginning
Of my dreams.

And all at once
It hits me
One look
And how much
I truly love you
Drowns me.
And I'm soaked
To the bone.
Never having known
This immense a love.

I try to think,
back to after you got sick.
to the details outside
Of you and your cancer.

But the harder I
Try to place my finger
upon those details,
The more i realize
I wasn't paying attention.

I can't remember
anything but you.
Sick, in pain, and scared.
Begging me not to leave.
Telling me...

"I'm not ready to leave.
I'm not ready to go.
You, me and Willow
Still have a lot to do."

So I don't remember.
I only remember my dad.
And that he wasn't ready to go
Anymore then we were ready
to let him go.