If distance makes the heart grow fonder
Then we are really ******* far away
And I know that this is what you wanted
But my heart pulls me further down each day

I thought that maybe in the jungle
Rain and mist would wash away my pain
But even in the heart of the blackest night I’ve ever seen
That flame blinded and raged inside of me

Another flame  burns when I think of that other night
The darkest night I’d ever seen
When your eyes were clouded with so much doubt
So I couldn’t see you anymore

And I hated the way you looked at me
When you told me you didn’t want me to be part of your life
Sitting here now, a million miles away, these words are still hard to write
But I can’t ignore it

I wish that we could be together today, on our anniversary
And I wish we could be with eachother everyday
Even though I know “every” is a word I’m not supposed to say
Anymore

Every, always, never, right, forever
What do these words even mean?
I’m not sure they mean anything
Anymore

But I miss the way we used to say these words
And I miss the way you used to pull me in so cluse
Instead of pushing me away
We are so far away Dearest

I fear that if I get too close to you
Love will congeal to terror again in your eyes
And I’m afraid of hearing your voice rise
To say you don’t want me
Anymore

In my season
most bitter cold
your love did flicker
but never died

Is a boring circle better than a broken heart?

my legs
your hand
between
my legs
oh my

One tree composes the entire sassafras grove
Vegetative manifest destiny propels its growth

Even as the green leaves turn black

I searched for that sinful seed
That began this unchecked growth
Of endless reproducing replicates

Fatigue, distrust, remorse
Anticipation, heartache, shame
Every emotion I encountered
Claimed to be a person with that power

Yet feelings are false and can be fallen
The bark I’ve scratched, the leaves I’ve torn
Some I’ve even overcome
Still the forest only thickened more

Then I fell myself

Now my ambition, once unjustified and diffuse
Sprouts with the vigor of sassafras
Reclaiming land thought lost with a green
And very visible hand that holds onto mine

The forest continues to densen
Sweet sinful confusion still conceals the heart
Beating the path has only become harder
But in your eyes I see my pain
Irrelevant as the means to the end

We will find the root
And steep its very core
We will drink it
And we will see more

They grab at the sunset spilling over the tops of the
Parking garages, office buildings, and apartments
Red-violet, sunflower, spring shoot, to blue sky
The backlight to their upwards web
Litter decorates stray branches
I love the city trees
Not a forest, but a friend
Isolated - But not alone

About one year ago
We sat side by side on Storrs first floor
You put your arm around my shoulders
And then asked me what I wanted

What I wanted from our relationship

I looked aghast
I felt the fool
I do not remember my response
Something along the lines of I did not know
Just to be with you, I suppose?
I did not, do not, know a lot of things
But now I at least I can say this:

I wanted winter, spring, summer, fall
To brush fine snowflakes from your hair
Stroke fuzzy plants on the verge of bloom
To meet new rabbits named Hlao-roo

I wanted even more to trust you
To cry my heart into your hands
And know you wouldn’t let it go
Even though I’m not sure you understand
How difficult it can be
I know, I know
This hasn’t been easy

We’ve slipped on the ice
Been burnt by the sun’s passionate light
And yet it seems we still command
A love more natural than the passing of time
So that a year falls like sand
Through your fingers laced with mine

I could not have asked that this all be fulfilled
Certainly, I may have wished it, but still
My first answer, though weak, was true
All that I desire is to be with you