They say a lot
About the wilderness.
They whisper fear
And fabled warnings
Meant for children’s ears.
They preach the beauty
Is of god
And man can only gaze
And wonder.
They clench their fists
And charge with promises
To keep it wild
To keep it free
To keep it safe.

I live inside a wilderness.
Behind my eyelids stand the trees
Under my ribs
Run rivers.
I whisper fear
And hear it with a child’s ear.
I preach of beauty
And know nothing of the power
That created it.
And when I clench my fist
And make a promise
It is to that deep dark forest.
Keep your eyes wild.
May they strike fear.
Keep your mind free.
May it shatter ignorance.
And keep your body safe.
May it move through the world
And leave magnificent marks.   

My wilderness is
Fearsome.
It grows darker every day.
I gaze and wonder.
The only god I know.

There is a streetlight
Outside my window.
It shudders and shakes
And makes the world
As bright as it can
For as long as it can
Before dying
A thousand times a minute.
It cannot decide to shine
Or go dark
Or leave this place behind.
It clings to the importance
Of its flickering life
Across the darkest part of the world.
As if the intermittences
Of its appointment
Will save a life
Or move a mountain
Or light the way.
It gives itself over and over
For an empty street
In a wasteland
Without a soul to behold
It’s glorious sacrifices.
If I had a say in this
Or anything at all
I would whisper to the dying light
And lower it gently down
Into the darkness with me.
I would show it what is left
Of my own shudders
And we could both sleep
Knowing we are not as alone
As we were before.
Leaving the blue-black street
To the moon
And the stars
Or whoever is left
With some light to spare.



Cape Dorset
2018

Sometimes I feel like there is a God inside me
One that sees this for what it is
A dream dreamed too hard
A man loved too often
He asks me to worship
At the altar of a reality
Where the dream was forgotten
And the man was loved enough
To forget to come home.
He asks me to whisper prayers
For another life
A conveyer belt destiny.
He begs for confessionals
In shopping malls
Where I pay for my life
Twenty five cents at a time.
He asks me to die
For the chance to be free
And live the same twenty minutes
Over and over
Until I know every word by heart.
He asks me to sacrifice
To drink of my blood
And eat of my body
For a world that could have been mine
A thousand years ago.
Sometimes I feel like there is a God inside me
With his back turned.

You’re going to find yourself alone.
You will be in a hospital room
Or in the backseat of a car
Or on a park bench
And you will have decided you’re alone.
You will have convinced yourself
That there isn’t anyone in the world
You can trust.
Not her,
not him,
not the clothes on your back,
not the air in your lungs.
You will have made yourself alone.
Again.
And you will pay for it with the same currency
As before.
With the same realization
Of emptiness
As always.
And you will stand up
And declare war on yourself
For the way you have been treated
By no one.

I love you like singing the same song
On the road to everywhere
With the windows open.  
I love you like a wave that leaves the shore
Knowing so well that it will be back
Again soon.
I love you like a fresh set of sheets
And smooth skin
And a cool breeze.
I love you like raindrops
Steaming on the summer pavement.
I love you like hands on hands
On hips
On lips
And a breath caught in a throat.
I love you in the same direction
I was pointed
When I found you
And my compass is never wrong.

Somewhere between
Portland street
and the edge of the water
I lost my mind.
I was walking slowly
scuffing my feet
dragging my boots
over the sweaty concrete.
My head was down
and I didn't see you
brushing passed me
reaching into me
and thieving.
I caught my breath
on the side of the road
face in the dirt
Soul peeled back
******
and bruised
and banished.
Somewhere between
Portland street
and the edge of the water
I lost my mind.
And found you.

The bomb drops
And it's quiet in here.
The silence has a heartbeat.
I can feel your breath
From where you stand
Too far to touch.
And I choke out your name.
The syllables tumble through the air
And reach you
Somehow.
You walk barefoot across the broken glass,
Hinges blown off doors
And crawl into me.
The bomb dropped,
And you've come to remind me
I'm still alive.