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CIIR Dec 2021
ImagiNation, FantaSea,
All well known by all to be,
places of adventure and fun and whim,
but another lay at the outer rim.
The greatest Nation,
the deepest Sea,
worth nothing against what awaited me.
DreamState it's called,
(So the voices say)
An untamed place,
of monstrous display.

No proof more is needed,
than to flounder in there,
that logic is a system,
not law nor fair.
A system we made,
one that makes sense to our senses,
It works well enough,
When we tend to our fences.

But in there i'm lost,
all my preparations mean naught.
My intentions a joke,
like an insult i'm tossed.

Decades of failure,
every way not mine,
i waste my time,
trying to find
a fix on the inside,
so i'd 'Do Better' without.
But those within,
have greater clout.

i conceit i'm their god,
and in Dreams They revenge;
what could i expect,
when my (e)motions depend
on drugs uncontrolled
by state or by temperance.
to myself I make shackled,
but i shun that remembrance.
CIIR Jun 2021
do not make us stronger.
A blooming orchid-
I am no longer
-one who strains for the next rung to grasp,
as all those below me dissolve with my past.
The thoughts I've abandoned,
the feelings, I've defiled,
valued nothing in them,
but vital to the child -
I am no longer
-one to respect or hold dear
These cuts so important
That ended me here
"Why do you feel this way..?"
"../Do/ I feel this way?"
CIIR Oct 2020
I saw cringe.
You showed honesty.
Hold ideals too fast and
watch the truth get ugly.

Thought I knew
all that I needed,
but with your gentle kindness
something was seeded.

Pony show,
take me home,
to the world,
I belong.
Equestria,
Lunar mama,
guide me home,
Pony show.

Almost perfect,
land of Equines.
From the Crystal Mountains
down into the Badlands.
I feel young there,
younger than my bones,
endless fields of wonder,
tinged with the unknown.

Pony show,
it's my home,
the finest world,
I belong.
Equestria,
Solar mama,
bring me home,
Pony show.

Should I misstep in the dark,
I know they'll catch me,
the loyalist of friends that I could ask for any day.
And when I'm down they all lend me a hoof,
and bring me back again, up smiling, smiling!

Pony show,
it's our home,
it's the world,
we belong.
Equestria,
Twiligh' mama,
we are home,
Pony show.
CIIR Sep 2020
Wake up and choose
be happy or lose.

Another year of might have beens
Might I just be out of steam
Score and a half of years behind
twice ahead and death is mine

Preserve this body until I lose
the will and mind with which to choose.
CIIR Aug 2020
{ }
Community without continuity.
Friendship without memory.
Drive toward nothing.
Nothing is more important than anything else could be.
A name boasts.
The boast itself, self-defacing.
What is he after?
What is after him?
so great and powerful
CIIR Jun 2020
What ifs
And might have beens
Sap the value from some dreams.
The missing hugs,
The absent laughs,
Tickle feelings long thought past.
The dream goes on,
Along with life,
Though with pain they both are rife.
It's only me,
who can choose,
whether I will win or lose.
CIIR May 2020
Told yourself that I was the key.
You would not listen, you would not see.
Truth turned out you were not right for me.
A better you you just could not be.

I know, you thought I was so perfect.
Yet this bond... hurts us both we're just addicts.

We are not good together.
Fighting no matter the weather.
We need to learn to let go of each other,
never were we birds of a feather.
So I'm asking you to let me fly,
without me you aren't gonna to die.
Fix ourselves before we try,
to find another one to confide.
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