My highs are too high
My lows are too low
My flats aren't flat enough

My life is not life enough
My hatred is too much
My sadness is my love

My medicine is prescribed
My voice is in my eyes
My mind is set aside
My body is no paradise

Abilifuck

My soul was set inflamed
pinched nerves i thought i was dreaming
i took the neuropathy less travelled
this turned out to be bad
bipolar affective disorder BAD

But now (thanks doc)
I have the Abilify to do anything I want
I've made a Paxil to myself
to be as sane as I can be

Geometry melting
Prismatic projections
love songs on repeat
Strangest friendships
Stranger still, our suffering
Anamolous Uniformity, this heartache
that which we all desire
the love you love until you hate
the hate you love but only on your saddest days
a hand to hold, a concept still
a heart in your chest, or so you're told
A watcher always -- your lot in life
Emburdened steps by the light of Orion
Stranger sighs this lustful hatred of life
as if there were nothing else - nothing more
so much more or so we hope
worldly compensation for cerebral sorrows
that which we all feel -- at the bottom of life
at the bottom of it all
and here we all culminate -- in this strangest of places
all that we are -- all that we were & will be
so much more and so much better than it could have been
and at least for that we're grateful,
at least for that we can make amends
at least for that we can find some meaning
at least for that we've found our home.

I wish you could have my body for a day
I wish you could borrow my brain
I wonder then what would change
If you could know my pain

I wish you could have my body for a day
I wish you could borrow my brain

But since that can't happen
I'll take the second best option
Which would be you thinking  twice
Before giving me
Your ******* advice

i never felt much sadder
than the day that we first met
'cause i new it didn't matter
that one day you would forget

all the nights we spent together
and the days we stayed in bed
and the words that i would whisper
so softly as you slept

no i never would have pictured
just how hard i'd fall for you
but the gold it turned to silver
and my heart turned back to blue

and i never felt much sadder
than the day you finally left
'cause i couldn't even lie to myself
and say 'i tried my best'

and now i'm left here wondering
what else i could have done
all the the things i should have said
and the fact that i'm no fun

i wish that i felt better
i wish you were still here
i wish i didn't have to be
so bi ******* polar

and i never felt much sadder
than the day that i confessed
that i loved you more than life itself
even though i wished for death

i should have seen it coming
you warned me you were cold
but the silence doesn't hurt much less
just because it was foretold

Pain does not make you stronger.
That's a ******* lie
preached by people convinced that
you have to be cursed to be brilliant.

The saddest part is not the pain
nor its never-ending presence.
It's the fact that you could have been
so much more.
You could have done so many things.

I could have been so much more
than the person I've become.

And for the record,
I don't need any help realizing
That I am a hypocrite.

I've got a solid grasp
on everything that's slipping
out of my fingers.

I don't act like anyone but myself
It's not a role I'd recommend
but at least I'm not tortured
by what people don't see

I embrace the patterns I generate
In my downward spiral
and I don't blame anyone
but myself

I awake from night terrors
and scrape through the day
i'm failing that's fine
can you say the same?