We built our home in the high tide sand.
Four crumbling walls where we mourn
the death of a love stillborn

Painfully aware of the waves.
Just a few fleeting months
to live out a lifetime of loving

And I can't ever find the words
or the literary comparisons
to convey how much you mean to me
the magnitude of your presence

You're not my Juliet
I'm not your Romeo
You are not Annabelle Lee
And I am no Poe

I never know what to say
Maybe I'm just sick of missing you
before you even leave
Maybe this isn't the kind of pain
we both so constantly crave

Maybe I'm Prufrock
Maybe you're a mermaid
Maybe we're both drowning
in a sea of terrible voices

Sometimes I feel like this cat is my only true friend --
like he is the only warmth I have
in my world sealed so tightly
in cold comforts.

The nudge of his head against the bridge
of my nose. The gentle caress
of claws he never quite learned
how to fully retract. The weight of his
fat, spoiled body against my abdomen.

The sharp pains of the world melt away
in the softness of his fur.

But he only gets this way when he's hungry
and I have been too sad to get out of bed
to feed him
or me.

my mistakes are mine to make
my head is mine to shake

my time is mine to waste

my bones are mine to break
my life is mine to take

Everything I have to say
has been said to death
by people far more clever than me.

I'm too hungry to feel sad.
I'm too hungry to feel hungry.
I'm not asking for sympathy,
I'd rather not be seen.

I went to the doctor for advice
but all he saw were dollar signs.

And lately it's started to seem
that the best medicine for me
is a good night's sleep
and a breakfast of kerosene.

That other form of self mutilation.

Because at least empty stomachs don't get infected
And at least the high lasts longer than a few minutes
And at least skinny is in vogue
And at least I have something to focus on
And at least it keeps me from talking too much

ill-conceived pet project
some sort of point to prove

slow things down in my brain
until I have only one principle concern
and at least it's something I can control
there is no shame here
rot from the inside
crater down implode
collapse
but that's my choice
or at least I can tell myself that it is

and what was I getting at?
sorry
i forgot what I was saying
just a little lightheaded
my thoughts escape me these days
i wonder why

Broken glass shimmering like diamonds
along the shoulder of the highway.
I wonder who had to die
to place them there.

I clean the mold out of the rice cooker
and make another ***.

Glad I caught it when I did,
before it filled up
with maggots again.