Poisoned memories rot through
my veins.
These dreams are incomprehensible,
a shaky bloodbath. I am the antagonist,
committing atrocities I'll instantly forget
and forever regret.

There are horrible thoughts welded into my bones,
I am forced to carry them in
infinite tire.

And even though these plagues
are as inexorable
to me
as my abyss-jade eyes
(which will love until
they fade forever)

today, I cannot help
but stand in the sun

and thank myself
for remaining alive to live this day.

I hold your hand despite your heart
being held by another.
I kiss you with care knowing that
I am but a brief distraction
to a much greater
much more devastating love
than mine.

I take this burden in quiet contempt,
what am I to do?

You’ve marked me as yours
but you are not mine.
I’d tell you that you are beautiful
but you’re looking away from me,
at him.

There is no way around it:
you are going to hurt me.
I can feel it in my bones the way
birds know of a coming storm.

I do not know if this will end
in love in the end.
I do not see a happy ending
(but I hope I'm wrong)

....And as the sun rises onto
another glorious day
where we two are alone, together
I will take the pain when it comes,
and cherish every smile you give me
until that solemn day.

That final moment
where the lights flicker
and the stars fall.
That final moment
where the world ends
leaving us
hand-in-hand
withering away.
That final moment
where love is not enough,
oblivion creeps
ever-closer.

Was it worth it in the end?
For one final moment
together before we
fell apart, bleeding?

That final moment
where my voice bursts
trying to call you back
but, with blood on my hands
and heart,
fails.

Down to the last drop
of the dark-blue incandescent bottle
lies peace-in-the-chaos,
a welcome break from the weary world.

this taste that burns is all i need
as the bottle drips down farther
and farther

lost
      unreal
cannot stand but willing to strike
                        cannot speak but screaming
will not remember
              not remember what is going on
                                                                  what is going on?

until it's empty
and the world is worth destroying.

Your mind and you are
to me
the songs that heaven wrote
but could not sing.

As Prometheus runs East,
Light leaves and the Underword emerges.

it is too dark to see the wilted flowers
strewn about our lives
and in the eyes
amid the smoke and tears.

It is night and I am alone.

The weight in my eyes increases
turn turn take the stair
into the house so dark and down
(the Door chuckles as i enter)

The eyes that stare --
those big words that make us so unhappy --
the illusory pain -- ever-so-persistent:
all those that make death so appealing
are somewhere.

...But they are not here,

I breathe out smoke
and watch it fade into the Stars.