I thought I could erase you
a point of no return
yet every time I've chased you
in my heart and mind it burns.

I wasn't what you wanted
confused to want was I
once the truth was confronted
I knew the end was nigh

I want to forget you
I do not want you back
but yet I don't regret you
you were always what I lacked

Im just as scared as you. . .

but
I'd
  do
it.

We feel dead, but were not
and theres still time

Love is short
forgetting long
every night
awaits new dawn

It will show the gods
    I lived better than them.

Its all about the pieces
you keep after you're broken
and the pieces of the pieces
after you're broken again

I want to **** the sadness
and strangle the heartache
which gives life to madness
not sure which is worse to take.

I did nothing but try for you
I sacrificed for you
altered my life for you
everything that I had to lose
all that I had to choose
to make it right with you
I did nothing but try for you
I sacrificed for you
altered my life for you
after all that we both been through
you only needed me
for benefiting you

I guess I'm destined for relationships that don't work
shooting from the hip with "I don't cares" but it still hurts
holding this heart broken too many times
with cracks growing so big they're resembling fault lines
where every falls like a bottomless pit
Ive been coasting so long that I hope the bottom hits
I could call you ***** or could call you a *****
I could break the bank at the profanity store
but I wont though, what good would that do?
because even in the end I wish the best for you
Even if I wanted to, we both know the simple truth
when we get to questioning just who really failed who
I held my cards close, but yet I exposed
myself and look just where I got with that gamble
Yes I knew the odds, it was a long shot
dancing in the moonlight with frauds on a grave plot
of whats dead now, you made sure of that
handling that rabbit you kept hidden in your hat
**** all that

You play the victim so easily
love lost, misery, someone too hard to please
I never really asked for too much but with your me me mentality I'm losing touch
Planet earth population one, here I stay finding ways just to remain numb
its like they say. whats done is done, don't jump the gun, have you ever felt alone when you're with someone?
I know its I who left, it wasn't lack of love, it was abundance of stress when push comes to shove
My glass jaw has been broken and shattered from the masks I saw in your manipulative patterns
I saved you whos supposed to save me from everything you turned into a tragedy
made you my one and only, when were you there for me?
when its bad, in jail, rehab, or when theres cash to grab

Trying to rip out the ugly
in a beautiful fashion.

Out there
somewhere
not very far
from my window
I hear a gathering
people laughing
screaming
talking
experiencing each other
and here I sit
alone
on warm Saturday night
staring into nothing
tapping away my laments

I thought that it would hurt more
but all I feel is numb
Like an old returning pain
too many times succumbed
A heart already broken
A mind already lost
words that cant go unspoken
a line already crossed.

I feel I'm growing cold
is this getting old?
as the passions which I hold
stow slowly into stone

A crooked compromise
watching the demise
of love for younger times
eroding quickly with the tides

Holding to emotions
I wish would still arise
yet with every motion
swallowed more within my mind

Is this poem too simple?
Does it have no depth?
at least I carry words
there is no peace in breath.

This notion seems unclear
and I really here?
I can't abide
decline divide
Outsider to the fear
divine denied
voided inside
step aside for what grows near.

What happened to the dashes?
Where are they now?
They used to like my poems
some of them cried afoul

Electronic phantoms
ghosts in the wire
these digital unborn
Where have they retired?

What were their names?
where did they go?
Im here just the same
In the afterglow

I no longer have a lick of trust
That could fix this disgust
I no longer have a dream to clutch
I just don't sleep enough
Saturated in the darkness
What was my light lost in the midst
Disconnect myself from everything
What I once felt not returning
Was it me who ruined myself,
Or was it someone else?
Staring at the walls inside of my bed
Calling for answers in my head
Loving the loveless
Pits my stomach again
Carelessly searching an end
These feelings
have been beaten from me
And there's no escape I see.

I'm a bi-product of an environment
that buys products
till the resource is spent
to eat drink and breathe paper
not vapor
not liquid
not Earth
not life
not Nature
To chase ghosts
and heed to celebrities
Who give toast
to excessive degeneracy
To change tides
for the evils that be
and hang sides
under veils of equality
Traverse a wasteland
of senseless information
Inert hands
given helpless stipulations
A negligent stare
over the horizon
that isnt burning to our backs