I only seek
a dampened pain
this bad liver
is a result
of a good heart
putting my faith
in those
with self-serving intent
I know it is I
who chose these paths
but Im still not sure why
darkness falls
on even the most beautiful
of landscapes
I burn the bridges
yet linger
hoping to find
some kind of warmth
letting the black smoke
sting my lungs
these twisted synapses
that always seem
to lead to dead ends
making me turn
to travel
down those same old roads

Try to scream over the thunder
try to stay dry in the rain
this dark cloud that Im under
lightning strikes with subtle pains

I can feel myself eroding
this water overflowing me
the storms sounds are forboding
fog over an endless sea

Slipping through slick fingers
trying to catch a grip
a lonliness that lingers
adrift, a sinking ship.

Wading in the chaos
as I kick and flail
my spirit lost in seance
my preservation fails

Trying to rip out the ugly
in a beautiful fashion.

Out there
somewhere
not very far
from my window
I hear a gathering
people laughing
screaming
talking
experiencing each other
and here I sit
alone
on warm Saturday night
staring into nothing
tapping away my laments

As I look upon a broken sky
very much as I
showing hues of midnight blue
the stars weeping bright
my soul sits here in darkness
but my eyes still seek the light.

I want to **** the sadness
and strangle the heartache
which gives life to madness
not sure which is worse to take.

Set me up for failure please
Sell me into slavery
keep practicing apathy
as a cog inside of the machine

Bombard me with redundancy
imprint me with this disease
teach me only of dependency
keep your eyes fixed upon the screen

Leave your mind idling
stay blind to everything you see
be deaf to what you are hearing
life is made for forsaking

Influence my way of thinking
following robotic dreams
keep the lemming mentality
pray to non responsive deities

Do not dare to break the mold
stay calculative and cold
unless you wish to face the scold
by those doing what theyre told