Pain pain go away!
Please do not come back another day.
Tears falling down my face
oh how I wish for his warm embrace.
Wonder if he cares about me.
Wonder if this is supposed to be.
How can he stand there and break my heart
How did we allow us to grow so far apart?
My dreams of us being happy is not going to come true
all I am feeling is down and blue.
Pain pain go away
bring me back to another day
where he loved me and
Were we laughed and cared,
I will not stop loving you that much is true
but I will be stronger in time
and not feel so blue.
you will always be in my heart
even when we are apart.
One day I will have that warm embrace
and tears will stop flowing down my face.
Pain pain go away
leave me alone and do not stay

I scream, I cut, I cry

Some days I don’t know why

But here I am

Asking for you ma’am

To help me.

To help me see

Fight for another day

Instead of slowly fading away

Without you I’d be gone

With out you feels so wrong

I need you babe

To show me the way

A cold sharp razor

touching soft pale skin

I breaks it. Pooling blood

Like a volcano slowly erupting

Red and brow stains the pale

The pale smooth skin

It stains my hands and thigh

I keep going deeper and deeper

Relief washes over my body

The thoughts slowly disappearing

Its like I can breathe again

I take a gulp of fresh air

It fills my lungs

As if I am no longer drowning

Holding out these empty arms
Cursing my disillusionment
Why did I imagine it could be any other way
that I could have been content, dreams that's all it was,
Mothers arms are not meant to be empty
I look up at the sky, tears filling my eyes,
Searching the stars trying to find my angel
The brightest star I search for
Finding it the first tear rolls down my cheek
Memories flood back of our short time together
Love totally encasing my heart as I look at that star
I know you are there baby I will never forget
I just can't come to accept as I look that you are so far
I would have cuddled and loved you kept you safe
Within my arms holding you in a tight embrace
I will search these skies for you each night
But just for now have to leave you in Gods guiding light
Sleep well my baby one day my arms and heart will be full again
As I join you and give you all that was meant to be

Who am I no one really knows
when I try to get close they ask to many questions
so I put up a mask up of lies, and hurt
hoping no one will see through my phony disguise

because no one knows I cry myself to sleep at night
hoping wishing someone will free me from my curse
I try to talk to friends but they don't understand
all except one

it's like she knows about my mask of sorrow
she see's through the lies and helps me when I'm hurt
I think she knows but I'm not really sure
but until she frees me

I put my mask on hoping one day she'll take it off me
but until then we're taking it one step at a time
together hand in hand

Email32
The pain that I feel so deep inside,
The hurt, the shame, and all the lies.
People that I live with thought they would be the people that I love,
With the hate, the anger, the yelling, the teasing, and the madness.
The more that I cry, the more I think there is no love.
When I go to school they always talk about me,
When I come home that's not where I want to be.
Sometimes I feel I don't want to be in this world,
If someone shot me I wonder how they would feel,
Happy, mad, or pretend that they are sad.
The pain that I feel so deep inside,
The hurt, the shame, and all the lies.
Wondering did you ever care.
Would you ever care.,
When its too late because I'm gone?
And you can't use me any longer?

You went into the office
expecting the great news,
that your baby was secure
growing in your womb.
You didn't hear the heartbeat
and you didn't feel it move,
you ended up getting
the worst unexpected news.
Your child is in heaven
a angel in the sky,
filled with joy and laughter
growing as time goes by.
Your life will go on
the tears will come and go,
only time now
will heal your broken soul

Your lips so soft and red,
the thought of kissing you is stuck in my head.
Your beauty so bright and warm,
shinning through the darkest storm.
Your eyes sparkle like stars in the night sky,
when I stare into them I feel like I am soaring high.
My love for you is pure and true,
I never stop thinking of you.
The sound of your voice saying "I love you" makes my heart pound
because I knew I'd truly found my one and only.
I promise to love you for every moment of forever
and when everything else crumbles, I will never.
I am your armor to protect you from harm,
like you are to me, a lucky charm.
For you are my heart, my soul,
baby you are my whole world.

the light was there but I was blind
the image never leaves my mind
you sat there and laughed while I laid there and cried
you smiled and laughed while I frowned and died
your force was too strong for my innocent no
you were all hyped up and ready for a show
why did I have to be the doll in your stupid little game
you're the reason why I hide myself in shame
when I got home I cried for days
stupid enough to trust your ways
I'm up all night crying myself to sleep
my innocence was no longer mine to keep
I dream of you at night ya know
knowing how much you enjoyed the show
your friends were there and they didn't hear
your friends are people I also fear
I said no and stop but nobody saved me
I cried and pleaded but my voice was missing
but don't worry not all the joy wasn't just by you
more pain came by another two
I wish I would've been more smart
and listened to my dying heart
I've added up the pain
the life I had is drained
there's nothing left for me to gain
3 of y'all have permanently damaged my brain
you all wanted to play and you all wanted to touch
but saying no just wasn't a ******* enough
you're the only one who beat the game
the one who left me with the most shame
the one who caused my depression
the one who stole my possessions
all I do now is hide in my room and cry
they ask what's wrong I say a headache such an easy lie
but the truth is I'd honestly rather die

As tears run down her face,
she realized she's made a mistake.
An utter suffocation,
she's trying to hold on.
But the pain,
the pain's to strong.
The bloods running down her wrist
Her eyes are going shut
but she's trying to hold on
while voices in her head are saying something is going wrong.
She doesn't know where she is or even why she did it.
It started with a razor and a few little cuts.
But became addictive and she cut to much.
Now she's laying on her bed,
wishing she could go back.
As the world disappears and everything goes black.

I can't talk to anybody,
I feel like nobody understands,
So I pick up some paper and grab me a pen.
You see me smile, but if you only knew
The things that I hold onto
And just can't seem to let go.
I know I must forgive, and I said that I do,
But I don't really think that I actually do.
Forgive my mother, my brothers friend, moms boyfriend, and aunt's boyfriend
For the pain they put me through as a kid.
I spoke up, no one listened.
So it continued on and I just didn't mention
The things that went on in the middle of the night.
It happened before, so maybe it's all right.
At 5, at 8, at 9 and 10.
Over and over and over again.
She caught him, forgave, got married, nothing changed.
I'm over it now, I really am.
I think about it every now and then.
Have trouble sleeping at night.
I say it don't hurt now, when I shake at night.
I know the only way to get over it,
Is to open up and speak,
But when I spoke when I was younger,
No one heard me.
So you tell me, WHAT THE HELL DO I DO,
When that voice in my head keeps saying,
You're wasting your time, no one cares about you.
I can't shake that, I've believed that my whole life.
I'm just glad that I have a pen, paper, and the ability to write.
'Cause when I feel like no one hears me,
I just write

Like an apple that has fallen from our tree,
my soul is rotting and I've taken you down with me.
Deep in the emotions of my misery
are the feelings that cannot ever seem to be set free.
You could say others have had it worse than me,
but until you take a few steps in the worn out path of my misery,
with the burdens I've carried, only then can you unravel my mystery.
If only to stumble on shards of glass,
only then to empathize the pain that I stash.
The scars always there never to vanish,
never to be repaired.
The physical pain may have vanquished,
but the emotional pain will always lay stagnant in our mind,
Always to remind us of our broken home.
The pain we endured through our childhood
made permanent cracks in the building blocks of our foundation.
Leaving the ones who've moved into our life
to mend the cracks with their love,
to suffer the sometimes bitterness that was left behind,
forever in our minds

There it is. My favorite thing of all this,
Ah the feeling of pain is gone from before and new form entered me.
Laying here waiting for you to come home.
I open my eyes and see flashes of you and me from before you went.
You walk inside.
You call to me and wait for an answer.
You hear small light breaths coming from the bathroom.
Thinking it is me, you walk down the hall with a smile.
The kind that makes your knees go weak.
You walk in, oh god, is all you can think.
I'm trying to look up at you but I can't move.
A cold chill comes comes over me as you pick me up.
You say we are going to the hospital and that everything will be okay.
You rush me in.
Blood running down
The nursen rushes you to a bed so I can lay down.
I can hear you asking her something.
But I can't make the words out.
I feel something cold and wet touch me face then my arm.
I feel the ***** of a sharp object go in my right arm.
And a band-aid go around and around.
After I slept for two days they let you in.
I can move again and open my eyes.
You say that I got 76 stitches because the cuts were way to deep,
And that I almost died.
I pull off the band-aid and look.
I see I over 20 cuts and begin to cry.
You tell me its okay, and we will get some help.
About five years from now..
We have two to deal with ourselves.
A beautiful baby boy and baby girl?
Jake and Emma.
The scars are still there
Sometimes I wish I could go back..