Why do I do this
You hurt me so badly
But I always seem to go back to you
I always try to talk to you
You barely notice me at school
It is unbearable the amount of tension
We share many memories in that one night
I lust for you, I see you do too
Why can't we be together once more?
I just wish I could be yours once again
What happened? You pushed me out and away
Not talking, talking
I just want to be your friend at the least
I am here for you always
          I think I love you.

How do things get so much better
I let my guard down.
I thought it could stay better
I forgot all the bad things
that have ever happened

I shouldn't have done that
Things always get worse
It was all too good to be true
I gave up on my happy ending

I don't deserve life
I can take it way
Who would care
Things are so bad

Could I actually do it?
Drown? Overdose?
Knife? Jump?
When could I get away

I have friends
I know they care
Even though they are
Never there

I feel so alone
Un loved, unwanted
A disappointment
I can't live up to my expectations

So much potential
I can't see inside me
They say I could do so much
I don't believe

T
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                  I
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The only freedom we have is the
unconditional love we have to give
and the painful confessions
we offer to the blank page,
there is no judge
but our conscience
and the earnestness of our hearts.

Laying all alone in this dark, empty room
No one home, no one there
Listening to sad songs
Just a child, having to grow up

The tissues pile up around me
The tears pour out my eyes
I try to put on a smile
But my eyes give me away

My eyes weary, and tired
Tears cascade like a waterfall
The sheets cold around my body
Longing for warmth and love

All alone in a sad, cold room
Lonely nights with no one there
The blankets provide no comfort
Your smell still lingers

I can taste you, feel you, hear you
I want you, I need you
You're gone
All alone in a dark, depressed room

These sad words haunt me
These sad tears hurt me
You're voice, our memories **** me
No one is there to hold me

day and night
you push and pull me down
you push me away
you pull me down,
                         down to the ground
you weigh me down
day and night
                                i feel hurt, and abused
you put a whole in my heart
             You keep coming back
but i disappear
                                              I'm gone

So much has changed since childhood
No more kisses goodnight
No more night lights
No more mommy and daddy

No more tucks into bed
No more "don't let the bed bugs bite"
No more XOXOs, or "I love you"
No more "see ya later alligator"
No more hugs, or kisses

Still afraid
Afraid of the dark.
Still needing the night light
To keep me lite, and bright with innocence

Afraid of the monsters under the bed
All the innocence is gone
Still there are monsters
Except they are mine

All alone
Still with monsters
My own monsters,
that haunt and terrorize me

All alone
Surrounded by monsters
Some my own
Most are the people is the world

Where is the light,
That keeps burning bright
That keeps my innocence alive
I need that night light back
Before my light goes completely out

i just wanna run
hide away
don't try to chase me down
i know you don't care
I'm sick of feeling cheap
cheated and abused
i just wanna run
hide and wait
my emotions
can't take it anymore
my heart hurts
now i'm throwing you away
all these memories
are in the past
you chased me away

trying
hiding her fears
no trust. given up hope
tying to love again, needing
some love