This isn't what you promised me,
what you said it would be like.
This is a constant uphill battle,
and still, you win every time.
You said you'd make me happy,
that's the impression that you gave.
Instead, you only ruined my life,
you had my kids taken away.
And still, you won't leave me alone,
please just get out of my life.
To those who said I'd regret it all,
well it turns out you were right.
Drowning now in "what could've been's"
ruminating on my regrets.
I wish I'd never met you,
so yeah......
F... you Crystal ****.

Why do we keep doing this?
I think it's time that I gave up.
I really truly do love you,
but it seems you don't give a f....
If you don't want to stay,
well then maybe you should leave.
Because with each betrayal,
"I love you" gets harder to believe.
And no that's not what I want for us,
but I won't sit watch you cheat.
So if you're not able,
to be honest with me,
then I think it's best if you leave.
The ominous and growing feeling,
I have deep in my chest.
Says that us together
probably isn't for the best.
There are things I don't understand,
like what is it that's wrong with me?
cuz you wouldn't want to f..... everyone else,
if I was "so ****"
And maybe you'd want to spend your time,
with me instead of just them.
If I still wore a smile all the time,
as I did way back then.
What I need you to understand is,
I didn't make that smile fade.
What stopped me from being happy,
was the choices you chose to make.
And maybe if you were sorry,
and never did it again,
then I'd be more comfortable
and could trust you once again.
But trust was broken so many times,
probably way too many.
I don't know if the trust is still possible,
I don't believe you deserve any.
Everyone has patterns,
of behaviour that they do.
Yours seems to be lying to me,
and mine sadly is loving you.

At first I thought I'd miss you,
after I went away.
But then I realized the truth,
you already avoid me everyday.
So I don't need to worry,
about without you what I'll do.
Because you've already taught me,
how it is living without you.
At first I thought you would miss me,
when you couldn't hold me to you.
But then I figured out the facts,
you don't need me cuz you have you.

I feel that all the weight,
of the earth is just on me.
I have no one to help bear the load,
and this weight is crushing me.
I can see a future though,
where I might be alright.
It's gonna take a lot of work,
all my effort day and night.
Truly everything I want,
for my life, I can attain.
If I can just set my mind,
to not use m* again.
It's harder than I thought it'd be,
to kick this nasty habit.
But if you truly want something,
then work hard and you can have it.

I've been resisting this for quite a while,
I've been avoiding it and been in denial.
I didn't want to have to say goodbye,
I really wanted to believe you'd try.
But now I've come to see the truth,
there's no more love for me from you.
It hurts me more and more each day,
I wonder why your love did fade.
You seem to only want me or choose,
To see me if I have something that you can use.
That's not fair and it's not love,
Love me truly? I wish you could've.
But soon ill meet the one to heal my heart,
someone who'll care  my true counterpart.
I do deserve and I will find,
A partner who WANTS to give me their time.
Their love will never have to be forced,
because for them loving me,
won't be a chore.
You can do you now and I will do me,
and then we can see how happy we'll be.
I will find someone to love me for real,
and maybe one-day yourself you will heal.
If that day comes I'll be happy for you,
but please don't come back,
I don't want a round two.
So I am a bit sorry,
But I've given you time,
to prove that you loved me and that your only mine.
I no-longer desire  being stuck here with you,
you can go find someone who won't care what you do.
Its been a long time now that I've put off this letter,
never saying goodbye because goodbye means forever.
Now though I'm ready this is my last thing to say,
I loved you for real but it's Goodbye Shay.

This world is so crazy and so full of pain,
her heart slowly breaks when she hears his name.
No, but it's not for the reasons that people expect,
it's for all the good memories she can not forget.
Regret fills her soul when she thinks of her life,
wishing she hadn't answered his phone call that night.
Never walked down the path that led her to him,
never starting a game that neither would win.
Never making mistakes she thought she never could.
Never believing he'd change,
just 'cuz he said that he would.
Never wondering why she was not good enough.
Never thinking abuse was actually love.
She'd never wonder where her smile went,
and why did it fade?
Did it go all at once,
or by little each day?
Reality hits her when she re-lives her mistakes,
And as regret slowly drowns her, she feels her heart break.
  
  

-Hawley  Anne.

Don't know how to accept the truth,
That I know is real.
But your actions make very obvious,
what you say is not how you feel.
I beg of you time and again,
to just be honest, please.
But it's obvious you never cared,
or even listened to my needs.
You simply wish to have your way,
doing what you think you must.
Even though it has done,
nothing but **** my trust.
You always say you promise,
then rage out if I ask.
But you still hold all those habits,
that show me you put me last.
Why do you insist on claiming,
that you do love me?
When lies betrayal and abuse,
are the only gifts you've given me.
I've begged you " please stop cheating"
I'll beg you one last time.
Cuz' if this time nothing changes,
then I'll have to say goodbye.
I deserve honesty
and a partner I can trust.
I had wished it could be you,
but I'm almost ready to give up.