Let's write a book.
Just you and I.
We can fill it with all of our happiest times.
Our luckiest moments.
You fill the first line with yours,
Then I'll write mine.
Mine is obvious, the moment you came into my life.
Yours is short and unspecific: "The moment he walked into my life."
We spent a lot of time putting life into that book.
And you lied about everything.
About loving me, about wanting me.
You let me go, and you burned our pages.
And all of my love, went up with the paper.

Instead of sewing the pieces of our broken hearts back on, we stitched them to each other and when you ripped away I bled for days, while you stitched another.
Did we make a mistake? Or just do things the wrong way?

You'll realize,
no matter how much you beg or how much you cry,
you have far less value in their eyes, so let it come as no surprise when you're never by their side.

"Why God?" He asked, tears threatening to spill over. He picked at the metal of the train track as if it would fix his broken heart.
And then when he least expected it, God said.
"You'll never be enough, and for that, I am sorry."

A Heart Is Never Fully Healed Until It Is Content With Never Getting What It Wants.

Do you know how much it hurts to not be enough for anyone else?
Maybe it's because I'm not enough for myself.
I am hurt from the lacking of everything.
I thought you truly loved ME.

I miss the sound of crunching leaves, victim to our druken teen feet.
My soul aches for the way you used to look at me.
I miss the way you'd line up with the trees, smile at me and breathe in disease.
Almost as beautiful as the smoke in your lungs. I miss a lot of things, but I'll never miss what we've become.

You would almost think that maybe, just maybe, the anxiety coursing through my veins would stop when the blood poured out but it didn't. The harder I grabbed my head, the harder it pounded through. Rushing, expanding my veins, bursting cells and leaving my mind hanging on a cliff!
I thought that maybe, it would solve it all, but I was wrong.
Please forgive me.

I know I'm easy to get sick of, but do people always have to make me cry?
I know I'm overly sensitive and fragile, but it's not my fault.
I often wonder why people can't be sensitive, it's as if it would **** them.
I'm left, alone, crying myself to sleep.
I'm always forced to ask the question, "why does the one I love the most hurt me?"
Was it on purpose? Or was it a moments mistake?
If I died, just faded away would it hurt you? Would you regret what you had said?
Cause I think that way, I'm careful with the words I say.
But you refuse to dig deeper and then just leave, I question what I mean to you, you know what you mean to me, it's fine.
I'll sleep, and I won't bother you until you want me.

I never thought you were meant to be in my life forever. Maybe that's why it didn't hurt to let you go. Once, I thought maybe we could be pretty good, we could work, but that wasn't the way it ended up. I still wonder how you're doing now, even after all you did to me. I hope you're okay. I will never find the answer myself because, I never will seek it out. We're apart, I have to let go now.

Yeah, we're crazy. I thought that's what was supposed to be of young love. Just, crazy, for no reason at all. Maybe that's how we make each other, I know it's how you make me. Sometimes you make me so crazy, I shake. Sometimes you make me so crazy, in a bad way. It's a good balance. The thing I find really crazy is that when I look out into the water, I see the gentle ripple of life in it, it makes me speechless, it makes me smile, it's something that simply can't be explained. Somehow, a feeling I never thought I could feel with anything else, I feel that way when I look into your deep blue eyes, and I can almost imagine the ripples within. Once again, I'm speechless, and I smile.

It's so simple, but so amazing. The safety you can feel in one's embrace. I hadn't seen you for awhile, no, it wasn't very long but somehow it felt like forever. When I seen you, I do not know if my breath hitched or if my heart skipped a beat, because all I could see was you and that beautiful smile. Then you hugged me, you pulled me close and simply whispered in my ear, "You miss me, don't you? I know you do." I nodded and closed my eyes, the two seconds encounter felt like a lifetime, a lifetime of peace and safety, and security. As we parted ways all I wanted to say was, please just hug me again.

When she walked in and exclaimed "WHY" I couldn't answer, for I was already dead.

You don't need to bother her.
Yes, maybe you feel like you'll break down, you're anxious, you don't feel alone, you're waiting for the hallucinations to start playing their games.again.
Just breathe, because you'll be fine.
Yes, you want to run to her, you want to say, "I'm not okay, and I need you right now." But knowing that'll only bother her you decide against it.
You just close your eyes and try to go back to sleep with a lump in your throat and a prayer for tomorrow, and you think of her and ignore the fearful tears that fall down your cheeks.
You know she'd care, but you fear she wouldn't and you would only bother her, despite her words.
And you sleep alone, uncomfortable, unsettled.

Why doesn't it hurt people to lose me? At times I feel like maybe it's just me, maybe not everyone shows emotions like me.
Why am I expecting so much from someone when I forget people have emotions half the time?
Why is it so easy to ignore me but so hard for me to stay away for five minutes?
I then find myself thinking that it's just easier to leave me behind.
That I shouldn't have ever gotten attached to anyone, because they let me go so easily.
We were supposed to be best friends forever, remember?
But that moment came when we said goodbye in the worst way and you didn't even try.
I guess both of our lives have been easier since then, but I'm left with someone who barely talks to me even when I talk to them.
Whom of which I must ask for their attention. Yet I love them and would never ask for anything different and for that reason I never find myself wishing. I only want to know why you didn't even try to stay, maybe you can answer that someday.

I decided to do nothing other than write.
Throw my loneliness into a place where it could be understood by like-minded people.
My mind has never asked for much more than to be understood.
How do we understand somebody? What makes somebody easy for us to be around when we shake at the mere thought of interaction with an outside world?
What makes it so easy for some of these people to just make us happy? That one person that just makes us, free.  
For once we can breathe without thinking about it, for once our ribs are not tied together by our minds and a ****** wrist is no longer the way to feel alive.
To look into their eyes and feel your heart beat is the only thing you need to feel alive. To feel understood.
To feel the anxiety cower into a corner, and for once you smile. You smile until the depression creeps back in, and slowly, so slowly you walk away, leaving behind a lifetime of happiness.