Circles

As I sit and reflect on this world and life
I can’t contain or ignore feelings of joy and also strife
These yearly traditions only stand to remind of time gone by
Good and bad, fun and heartbreak, I may cry
Cry because of both joy and pain
Wishing I did better but I sustain
The season of change has begun
Leaves fall, cool evenings begin, and change occurs
Fall is here, the past year is all a blur
Time to look within and like season
Prepare, reflect, and and come to reason
Life, expectations are sure to fail
Yet live to not gain, but give and you will prevail

Birth-day

Strange it seems to me, we celebrate our day
As we age it’s a step closer to the end
I tend to reflect and find my way
Think, recall, am I on my way, where I intend

Be cognizant of your place in this existence
Are you making a difference are you making a mark
If not, use the time you have left to not pose resistance
Be a shining light don’t go dark

It’s taken some time to learn
We forge only one road and there is no going back
Don’t end up regretting, that wound will burn
Move forward, keep people close  and don’t react

Be strong and enjoy your day
But learn and celebrate another way

Now

Yes now, be in the now
Don’t get trapped in the tomorrow
Be you, enjoy, and avow
Promise you will stay true and be your best, let go of sorrow
Move forward, be kind and a friend
Those are all that matter in the end
So challenging to move through this life
So many twists, turns it cuts like a knife
The one thing that matters is the path you forged
Did you do well? What is your reward
Rewards are not our ultimate desire
Be content and maintain that fire
Fire that burns to ensure you are present and alive
That is truly going to help you survive
Survive and prosper, love and live
Because at night that is what we sleep with

Thinking

I sit and ponder, do I live in the past
Unable to move forward, missing what’s here
At times I feel like an outcast
Social and adept, yet connection I fear

This is a penance I carry around
Superficial, it feels, which is odd and strange
I believe, truly that I can rebound
From what I do not know it, can I change

Late nights, early mornings alone, thinking, and content
Some think it’s lonely but I see it clear
Prefer it, an existence I feel it’s well spent
I love, I live there is no fear

Complicated

Well we’ve been down  the road a few times
We think we know, learn, but we are truly blind

Unknowingly, instinctively we succumb to our desires
Yet knowing what will surely transpire

We end up where we began, no passing “Go”
Sent back to the same life as we know

When will we move ahead and buy “park place and boardwalk”
Not in the cards unless a change is made, grow, and stop the talk

Hate the game, hate the rules,
But it is simply how we chose

Can’t go back, only ahead, only one direction
Don’t stray, don’t seek acceptance or perfection

Simply be true, honest and have compassion
Certainly with that, great things will happen

Complicated
Yeah life is twisted
But unravel the code
Be you, show you, and you cannot be resisted

Well, decisions are to be made, choices, life
I take a lot of input from my inner people, my clan
I believe my path will pan out alright
Some may see, that all choices come w a cost, but I feel I am a wise man

I will see it through and handle what is needed
Not selfish as some may see
Taking into account all that matters, I’ve wrestled with my decisions and have pleaded
Pleaded with those above,  to show me they way, the person to be

Days turn into nights, nights to dawn
I continue to search and seek
Navigating through, evaluating, nothing is forgone
Life is not a simple hike, no maps, just you and those you keep

Everyday is new, a chance, an opportunity
Seize it, be better, and continue the journey

Timeless

Funny we all worry about our time
Time for this, time for that, clock watching, for what
All that matters is the experiences, the wine
Wine as a metaphor, good times, people, no rut

Surround yourself with friends and love
Stay true, be you and be alive
Walk, run, through this life, a destiny determined above
Stop pleasing, stop doing, time waits for no one, survive

Survive and be the best you
No waiting, time is now, your due

So, so

As I ponder, as I look, as I see, hear and watch life transpire

I look, not ever sure, not even clear of my desires…

That is my curse, never sure, never knowing

Never, Never committing, apologies to those I hurt, at least my pain is showing

So many that have crossed my path, trusting but realizing, to move past

I always am happy for you, but thankful many of our friendships last

Can’t explain it, don’t even know… a part of me has grown from all of those that I held close

I see, see you happy, and have some remorse, but truthfully I see you in the meadows

So, so

Meadows of life and embrace the time we had, I am lucky, to you all, my love perseveres

So, so

I simply have taken all my interactions and built, become who you see…  it endears

Uncharted

So it seems things continue to be convoluted
Despite my love, it’s difficult, maybe I should be substituted

My wish, is that I don’t infect others in my scheme
I have hope, I dream

Yet, those that fall are left without
They see, they doubt

Worthiness is an expectation that often I cannot meet
Told before my mind, my thoughts, defeat

Can’t be the regular guy, one who simply exists
I have a mind, ideas and they twist

No changes needed, it’s a walk I must endure
soulmate, friend and lover, I am sure

Truly inept at keeping those close
Tragic, lonely at times, life continues, happiness and I oppose

Days will be great and nights fun
Yet in the end, absent of commitment who has won

Time
Time
Moving, never slowing
Choices to be made, never knowing

Questioning

Here, there… nowhere
I ponder I think
Should I do different, does anyone care
I believe in others and that is the link
I enjoy life and will always  share

Share my ability to make friends

Is that where it ends


There is a connection to what’s to come
Finding my purpose
I strive,feeling things have been left undone
My true feelings are sure to surface

Can’t hide the truth
Or who you are
No questions, simply you,  don’t need to be sleuth
Be real, be a lucky star

Questioning the life I chose
Reasoning, wondering what is right
In the end I will be judged I suppose
I think, wonder, did I provide darkness or light

Seeing

See, look, know, even the blind can see, see people for who they are

Listen, feel, touch but always see and look beyond the stars

Grasp life, hold it, embrace, see,  truly observe

Watching, knowing truths, not being clouded, just obtain what you deserve

See, yes truly be, stay humble and be a guide

Guide those that are in need, you’ll be surprised

Rewards that have no monetary value, are the goal of the wise

Learn everyday, see clear, avoid conflict and others demise

See
See
Look close
You will know
Your life will be fulfilled
Your experience, life, defined, without obligation
Just simply see, be

Time slips by as I wait for you
You is a metaphor for something new
A soul I can hold and share our dreams
A woman, a partner will strengthen our team
Moving forward and feeling some strain
Crying at times, laughing and some pain
My heart is open for someone more
But a piece is missing when you walked out that door

You can plan for change and prepare
Feel confident, it will all go as planned
Yet when real life happens and the change causes despair  
the pain and emotion is difficult to withstand
The past returns like this overwhelming flood
Permeating all, ruining what was to be
You search for answers from afar and above
Just hoping you will find exactly what you need
But the “need” is impossible to feed
Its apparent you are destined to seek
To look for what never will be
You had it, lost it, that you will see

The Song

Life it moves quick, and we don’t realize, time is precious, not long

All of us carry a burden, but also a song

A song we follow within our hearts
Music taps into it, that is where it starts

Follow it, don’t repel
It’s like a spell

A spell that allows you to endure all life has to offer or take
Music, the song it keeps you moving and awake

Feel the beat, feel the rhythm, let it sink in
Your song is playing, inside you, if you follow you win

Be present, show you listen and know the song
Do it now, before you are gone

Feel the song
Live by the song
Hold it close and live
Remember your song is there to give

Challenges

Life, love, and relationships are full of trials and tribulations

Too many to list, yet we continue to exist

Finding a way, a street, a world, that will give us strength and less frustrations

See clearly who you are supposed to be, be it, don’t resist

Challenges are sure to appear

Don’t fret, don’t fail to show your resolve

There is only being, only life, without fear

See, see clear, face trouble and solve

Challenges, yeah they will come

Challenge yourself, persevere and never be undone

Again! Why and when will it stop
Another life lost due to an entitled and empowered white cop

So many years of profiling and brutality
Others can’t fathom or know a black man’s reality

Daily events we others take for granted
Justice is never served, the playing field is slanted

Rights of all people should be respected
If we sit idly by, we become infected

Infected with inaction and perceived to not care
So stand with our brothers and let’s end the despair

This racism that plagues us has been eradicating “blacks” for years
It’s time to move forward, ending so many families tears

We are one people, human, same blood for sure
MLK Jr had it correct and his word endure

Yet words alone can’t change our lives
We need to stand as one so all can survive

Standing in a crowd alone
Thinking, and thinking it is all monotone
No feeling, no hope, no one to care
Waking up to emptiness no one to share
Is a cruel reality, it is true despair
I will seek, I will look but no one is there
My past is present and reveals my fear
Just a soul searching for what, I don’t know
I will sleep and dream, of tomorrow

Help, I seek some assistance
Waiting and wishing for it all
Difficult as it is
I need you and don’t even know you
Helpless
Helpless
No that’s not me
But it’s difficult
So hard to be sure
Sure of one thing,  I know...
I am searching for something more...

Twists

Many roads, many travels, seeing the world, people and who they are

Some I have met near and some from afar

Sharing stories of life family and our struggles

Avoid the boastful few who seem to be all around

Salt of the earth types those are my people, I have found

Let’s talk of love lost, family and our travels

Before things get difficult and the world unravels

Find that being alone, in a crowded space, is my safe place

Love to see interaction, love to see others embrace

Embrace their world, their people and their being

So enriching to observe those loving and living

Time slips past quickly, take hold of what you can, and never relent or give up

Do what is needed, and forge a existence you can leave behind

A life, friendships and family that will always have you on their mind…

A life that is lost is only one that simply had no one

No one to carry their torch and continue their journey

I want my time to to have gifted others friendship and love, I want none to ever mourn me

Please, my time is not up, yet I want it known, I live for my children and my friends

For that I know my story will never end

The pain is constant and so clear
My need for you is masking my fear
Fear of losing what could have been
For a chance at whirlwind that may be fun
My ability to love is great
It equals my ability to agitate
The  night moves closer and I am lost
I feel often what love has cost
I mask it by being fun and me
But truly I wreck everything that I see
It’s painful cuz I’ve never known
What it’s like to have a home
I like the independent Mike
But seriously what is there to like
A man who can’t give all
Isn’t a man at all

So many words... why?

Incapable, that is what haunts me
Trying to hide from it so no one will see

Incapable, that is a word you cannot avoid
If it is there, you own it, yet it destroys

Incapable, incapable it follows you around
What is it, why, it completely surrounds

Unable to fit in the box that is required
Pretending, pretending is tedious, so tired

Incapable
Incapable
What can you do?
Just live, just laugh and continue

Deep inside, it feeds my soul
It needs to come out or it takes its toll
It flows like a river after the rain
My mind, the words, are the remains
I have to release what I feel
Keeping me sane, it’s surreal
My goal is simply to share my pain
A way others can avoid, and maintain
Words flow through me, versus appear
My head on my pillow, yet it all is so clear
Destined to a life, unfulfilled
Is a prison, a world, a constant rebuild

Over

Deep inside I feel the pain
I can’t escape it or dodge the rain
My soul is crushed from failing you
But passion will emerge with someone new
Life is tricky and let’s us down
Yet as we wake hope abounds
Evenings are long since you left
At times it’s painful and I am out of breath
Moving on without my soul
The early mornings are taking its toll
Being patient is tough to do
My heart is empty without you

My gal, my gal you are so sweet
Despite our differences, our love was complete
My attention was lacking and u needed me
But I was unable to recognize and I was blind to see
See that I had a person to prize
But my temporary nature continues my demise
You will find a soul to that will keep u forever
My hope is that our time u will remember
Don’t know what is next or where I will go
Just hold on, save, what you know

Music

So strange how music can take you back
To a place a time deep within your soul
The artists are unaware of this, playing entertaining, it’s truth not abstract
Listening it takes us to places we long for, or want to avoid, life takes a toll

I wish everyone could see what I see
These experiences large or small impact us all
Eye opening, showing all we could be
Simply put… simply put, respond to the call

Listen up remember where you were and where you are
Ups and downs we have all had
Be with others, be true, even at he bar
Experiences shape us, don’t miss out, resist the sad

All of us hope and dream
All of us hope and dream
Never quit life
Never

Another time and possibly another place
Our souls may have outlasted the chaos
Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough space
Fourth in line, outside in the raindrops
That was how it felt and where I landed
I could have asked, pleaded for more
I chose to just exist, and avoid, I should have commanded
Commanded what I needed us to become
But my apathy, yours as well, is why we are done
Moving forward I hope to change some of my behavior
Value the one that matters most, and savor

Why

So as I think, review and contemplate

Realize that, oh, forget the state

State of my life, state of relationships and all is intertwined

The things I review, instead of moving ahead, keep me confined

Unsteady and unsure

Trying to keep up, but failing I am sure

Why, why do I not see past the trees
See what is in front of me

My pain is self inflicted
My life self… self conflicted

Time to grasp what is important and dear

Time to be and no longer care

No longer care what others say

Live my life, tomorrow is a new day

Others can judge and think they know
Yet, what do they show

Most are faking and wish they could be me
Simply living and being free

Go away all you judgmental fools

I am me, I like what I see, drink your drink and continue to be cruel

Inspire, interact, and show some compassion
It will go a long way to make things happen
A simple smile, say hello, connect and care
A day will come, when you are in need of an “ear”
Someone who will interact, listen and truly believe
Listen, know what you need, sending you on a path to achieve

Inspire, Inspire... in return you will receive what you desire

I write

Why, why do I write the things that pass through my head
It’s a need, a passion but often it’s hard
I could be doing a lot of other things instead
Yet, to clear my mind, to feel and understand this world is something I can’t disregard

I write
I write

It’s a way to learn, a way to show
Show empathy, show acknowledgment and a way to grow

Not sure if my words are heard or if they matter
However I will continue because it feeds my soul
I do a lot, I live, I love, there is much on my platter
I write to inspire, to challenge and to console

I write because when I am gone there will only be what’s written

And that’s why I write, to make a difference

Waiting, and waiting I need you here
My desire my passion for you is sincere
Kissing and touching you is what I need
Skin to skin, I beg and I plead
My heart beats for who you are
Even inches away, that seems too far
My love, my soul,  I give to you
The bond we develop seems so new
The connection we have made, is so real
My Passion and commitment is here to steal
Love like us, love like ours
Committed, and strong we will tower
Be present to prove our love
The path directed by some above

Life is great in certain ways
Discovering something new, that was so near
Assuming things based on what one portrays
Learning that it was cloaked in fear

Fear of opening their heart
Because like others, pain is part of the past
Hoping, wishing, they long for a new start
But focus too much on time elapsed

To move on, one has to let go
Accept it is time to take a risk, make a change
The mirror see’s and it knows
Your soul, your “you” you can’t exchange

So many fun times, fun nights w friends
Yet maybe it’s time for it to end

Chose a new direction, make a true connection
A new path a real destination

I should make a change, go forward and forget the past

Yet, so many friends and people to meet, and have blast

It is a struggle to chose and do what’s right
Yet, who decides, who is accountable for your night

As I say, the mirror holds all the answers, all the truth
If your content with what you see, who you are, it doesn’t take a sleuth

Own it, be you and go where your destined
And no one should ever question

We all find our road, our place
Time is irrelevant, do you, create your own space

Slowly and softly I kiss your neck
Our bodies in sync as we connect

The passion, excitement cannot be contained
You feel my arousal, and it won’t be tame

Your movements, acceptance, for what’s to come
I touch you, lick u it’s part of our fun

Breathing deeply you feel complete
Caressing and holding as we slip off to sleep

Passion sets me apart
My ability to love and show my heart
I care so much but won’t give it all
I fear loving too much and taking a fall
U love me back at times too much
I feel it, I want it but push it away as such
Something I want but can’t contain
I am content and independent like the rain
Rain is what I seek
Cleansing me as I weep
And now I sleep, sleep

Spent

The days change but life moves on, and at times it seems,  I am more lost than found

Existing, is easy, living, is hard. Continuing to smile yet troubles abound

Simply we all have a desire to succeed

A presence, a place, we all have needs

A need to show what my not be true

Searching for happiness someone/something new

There is an envy for those that have found, life’s meaning, and how they thrive

Just being themselves and happily alive  

Never content is a curse for sure

Minute by minute, day in day out, searching and searching is truly a chore

Time I have learned,  is not on our side

Many choices have been made and I’ve often cried

Where it began I will never know, being a loner… amongst a crowd

My final desire, my gift, is that my children are happy and proud

Spent, yeah spent, and a little bit tired

I write hoping someone will be inspired

Inspired to learn from my lessons

Go forward, move, give and make a lasting impression

So it’s time for me to see

See the person I can be

Not the man that currently exists

But a lover, a friend who you can’t resist

I will find love I am sure

Love that is impossible to endure

For I cannot give my all

For fearing, for anticipating, the expected  fall

A fall I won’t recover

So I will move on to another

The days pass, the people come and go
Slowly we slip into our mature years
We are supposed to be chill, home, no fun, and slow
Yet, the difficulty is I have people and care


Used to say I will sleep when dead
That, mentality is stuck in my head

No regrets, or “regerts” no worries
When done no problems and no Sorry’s

Hope that when gone,
the ones I have faith in me will understand
I did my best, as a friend, son, father and a man

I don’t answer to anyone except the guy I see each morning
Don’t expect flowers, money, or things when people are mourning

Celebrate, I hope those that truly know me will not compare
I am me, not perfect, I am well aware

Navigating my way way through
Just like you

Some people pass through your life, and move on

Others, stay, are always there no matter the miles, or time gone

These are special people, ones to cherish

The friendships last through everything and it will never perish

If you lucky to have one or two of these friends

You are blessed, you will have people til the end

Having my Hull crew is the best

Don’t ever have to talk, not able see each other during the unrest

Yet, I know , and I hope they do too

Friendship is not defined, it’s fluid, but it’s true

To those who are in my life, Mass and Cali

You all are important, loved and my allies

Til the next time
Til we all can hang as a “posse”
Brothers/sisters we are entwined
Love, laughter, reminiscing, and legacy

Haven’t seen or heard from “you” for awhile
Life changes, things move quick, when will it be time for us to smile
Just be who you chose to be
Regrets, give them up, It will allow you to see
See the truth and your being
Find you path, walk it, own your life, it is freeing...

Starting

Starting again, a new chapter, new beginnings,new challenges
Can’t be complacent, can’t be sure, can’t be content
Life moves and we need to have balance
Balance our obligations and our desires, never resent

Seems easy for some, yet a struggle for most
Needing a purpose, a place, this existence seems wasted
What path, what journey should I take, I feel choked
Breathe, Breathe it will work, your destiny is or will be satiated

Move, move forward and don’t look back
Stay the course, diverge as needed, but never slack

Live strong
Love long

Explore

Explore, explore, and explore some more, see past, look beyond, explore
For that is where life’s treasures are that’s for sure
Tragic is a life spent unknown
Step out, seek, never stay down
It’s near, it always is, behind a “curtain” you just need to see
Then your world will change, you will simply be
Leave no stone, don’t be alone or afraid
Live a life, be in, know that you played
Participate, and be all that is you
Time runs constantly so choose
Make a decision to not be silent or a castaway
Go forward, live, tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day

As I settle down at home
After an evening out but I chose to be alone
Alone is not always a negative
Often it gives opportunity to be reflective
Just reflecting on the time that has passed
Tv on, background noise is all and  I maybe smashed
A drink or two w friends
It’s a means to an end
I know my clarity is true
Just waiting, watching for something new
Most I engage with don’t meet the mark
I am willing to wait for “you” and that spark
The spark we will feel instantly inside
The hope, the dream, the anticipation I cannot hide
As partners and friends we will succeed
It may be a dream, maybe unreachable but that is not what I truly believe

My friend, my classmate, we lived our lives
Many years slipped by but we have survived
Now we find time to connect
It is important and something I expect
I expect to reach out and keep you near
There is a bond that I endear
I value our youth and where we are from
I am hopeful, and value the friends we’ve become
I know you needed time to get away
But, I am certain you will find your way
Just believe in, trust  the path you seek
And your life, the love you have will be complete

I contemplate all that has transpired
Mentally exhausting, weakening, I am tired
Tired of the drama that I created
Tired, just tired of all we debated
It’s empty now, my heart that is
It’s empty now, my heart that is
Dreaming of the day I wake without you on my mind
Dreaming, dreaming of who I may find
It’s empty now, my heart that is
It’s empty now, my heart that is
Moving on is honestly hard to do
The voice inside, please, please say something new
It’s empty now, my heart that is
But not for long, promises, promises

Why do I sit alone and think
My voice inside so loud and clear
In just the time it takes to blink
I quickly realize all my fears

The day is slipping quickly past
Night will arrive oh so fast
I’ll have a choice make
Life and love is at stake

Crazy

Life at times can fulfill, can lift us up and for a few hours time stands still
Yet, those are rare times, not enough to sustain
There are warm days, with summer sun, but selfishly I prefer the rain
Cleansing my soul and lulling me to sleep
Rain, Rain never go away, I want it, something to keep

Crazy how worlds collide
Who we chose, who we confide
Crazy, yeah crazy is what we seek
To be honest, true, crazy is not for the weak

Embrace your time because it slips by
Live true and tell no lies
Crazy how a word can change
Change it’s meaning, kind of strange

So crazy is both a blessing and a curse
So just be you, things could be worse tb

Stay crazy, while you’re on this earth

Can’t

It seems like only yesterday that I left what I knew
To begin a journey, make a fresh start somewhere I would know few
I have made my way struggling at times
Yet there is comfort and peace as the sun shines
Returning “home” brings mixed emotions
Leaving that place was an elixir a potion
It has made me who I am and has brought joy
Being here again, reminds me of why
It is painful, I’ve often cried
Moving on was a decision for me
It has shown me the way, I can finally see

It is a difficult road we travel
A difficult life we lead
Managing things, but it can always unravel
Pulled, decisions, choices, who is most in need

Struggling, and the kids never know
We hide it, we keep them safe
We put on a glorious show
And provide them comfort and space

As a kid I was oblivious to the true sacrifices my mom made
I did me, I was a child, never afraid

Now, I see through the eyes of my mom
How parenting is, and things go wrong

I can’t fix it all but I strive to
Finding their own way, being young
Parents, we are always aware and in tune
But, the kids grow up, life, we are left “hung”

Just hope the kids value your love
That is truly what is important, and what life consists of

A night alone can bring you clarity

Taking in life, watching, it shows sincerity

People are strange as “The Doors” once sang

Interesting that being solo not with the gang

We see more, see truths about others,  and us

Scary sometimes, who do we trust

Just pointing out there is no “truth”

Just people existing, doing their thing... I am no sleuth

Discovering, I have had it all wrong

The important things are now all gone

Alone

We never want to admit we are solo
We establish bonds and make friends
Yet, truth is, we’re ships at sea, navigating, what do we know
Our bonds, our connections end

I need, I want to see
See importance in front of me

What is it that we strive for, desire
Years pass and I tire

Happy, a place I do not know
Relevance, put it in place
Weakness, need, I can’t show
Decisions made, it’s a disgrace

Where to turn, where to go
I
Do
Not
Know