I have caught words

Unheard...
For awhile now

Seeking each meaning behind them
The cracks inside "Love"
The light within "darkness"
Holding on the the memory of me
Comparing each scar with my own
Wondering if I could bleed the same metaphor

Would that make me a poet
Or a dreamer
When I look into the stars
And find a smile along the constellations
Or a lonely tree
On top of the sea
Saying I may be deep
But I'm solid enough to hold you

Would it make me a poet
Or a carpenter
If I build towns inside of my heart
Structures onto your pretty mind
The tower for two
The twin towers
That sadly fell without warning

Would it make me a poet
Or a scuba diver
If I dived into your eyes to find a smile untamed
Or sink into muddy waters
You say is your home

Would it make me a poet
Or a singer
If I could change the way you think
With a word or two
If I could hum a tune
And that would make you see a different point of view

I searched for answers inside a thick mind
Trying to find words inside an onomatopoeia
A message behind my minds colorful Aurora
Compelling a reason along life's aroma
Questioning the play of letters
That simply spell
P
O
E
T
R
Y

This is who I say I am
But I don't fully understand

Am I a poet?
Or just an adventurer

A fractured gaze
Of a broken maze
Along the happy mind
For if to intertwine
With this broken heart of mine

Dream of a lost cause
Fixing up a scar
Hoping for a beat
Is like grabbing for a star
For to see beyond the impossibility
Of an aching hearts simplicity
To turn around the old effects
Reverse the way the sun would set
end the pulsing neglect
Trying to bud the blooming gloom

My eyes could not fathem
The endless charades
Loved and to be loved
In constant raids
You...
Trying to win each fight

My smiles are louder then the words I have spoken
You proved to a hurting soul
That a heart wasn't meant to be broken

Dancing stars so blue
The comets reflected hue
Gazing at the me inside each star

Afar, in fact in mars
Sits a rusty smile
Awhile, I stared
Truly scared
Of why it even dared to laugh
Does it care?
Can it see that rust sits there?

No, its blind
It cannot find
A reason not to be beautiful

But I wondered still
Why the crescent doesn't spill
It tilts and tilts
Not dripping any dreams
Holding on to the beams
Reflected by the ocean
Deep it may seem

Yet I drip and drip
Dreams falling to the well
So much water I could sail for miles
Sail on dreams perhaps
Until my crescent snaps
Until my hope collapses

But I still wonder
Why I care?
Do I consider my life fair?
Is the reflection hard to bare?

Their are ripples in the mirror
And all I can do is wade

Here is my heart
Can you see the love
Radiating dreams for two
Can you see the tears fall
A stream of golden blue
I waited a lifetime ago
Along the infinite possibilities
That ended with little tragedies
That made my heart have scars
That are invisible to the eye
The night knows from my cry
Weeping with each thump that came from the rain
The watered down pain
That I hid from your smile
For decades

At this moment
While I reveal my illness
My feverish chill
That came with the river upon my cheek
Endless echo of words on repeat
That cut me deep
That made me weak
Said "I cannot love you"

For I cannot love you in the dark
I cannot kiss the air
And pretend that you are there

And I cannot MAKE you love the dark either
I cannot MAKE you see what's waiting inside the darkness
Even if I shine brighter then the moon
Darkness will always be a place you will forget
In that darkness...

My presence never existed

Sky of bleeding red
Lift not one soul today
Let rain come dripping
Drops along a canvas unscathed
Seeking creation along paper terrain

Yellow sun glides along
Causing streaks of hope yet found
Still inside the dry paint sits a comglomeration of an artist's palate
Seeking new ways to finger paint a story
Yet too sureal to let the imagination roam

An unusual free reign to feel insane
To smell the blue of rain
To hold the golden grain
To end the familiar pain
Black streaks daily

Maybe....

We all have a hidden palate
Born by given talent
Tucked away in the cracks of self doubt
Building towers of color
In a great amount
But sown into the cloth of everyday wear

One day our hands will shed different colors
Will spread along each line
Cascading down like waterfalls in the mist
We will hand print our worlds
And become a new picture
In a world full of torn pages

I have lived in your eyes forever
I have built stable love inside your retinas
The Taj Mahal on sacred land
I found myself attached to every nerve ending
Sparking signals of love into your busy brain
Lifting the weights off the corners of you lips
Showing a smile any man would fall for
But no man could ever fall as deep as me
No man could ever understand the color of your golden brown eyes like I do
The hardship of your day
The sadness in that way you say
"I'm fine"
When your crying
My house begins to crumble
My Taj Mahal begins to crack
I become homeless
Living on the streets of loneliness
Waiting for our rain to stop
So believe me when I say
Your happiness
Your love
Is my foundation
The reason I can still build stable love
The Taj Mahal on sacred ground
Without you
I'm just a color
A color that speaks beauty
But says nothing at all

Is the ocean long?
Or is the ocean deep?
Will I walk 1000 miles?
Or sink 1000 feet?

Will I drown in liquid misery?
Or fall in rays of hate?
Will I walk my chosen path?
Or will I scuffle with my fate?

Will I embrace the raging rapids?
Or will I consume the beating flame?
Will I be judged?
And not ordained

To be insane
In times of here and now
Time has seen me crumble
And time will see me bow

When I fall
Their will be no surprise
The sun will only stare
And laugh at my demise

Then I will realize
In the soul of every beat
That I have walked 1000 miles
And will sink a 1000 feet

But not to take defeat
Or die with no love to keep
But to tell a story to the youth
Of why my soles are weak