My father never called and said im sorry i miss you
Yeah love is hard but trying was truly the issue
Im not gonna lie i could cry but life wont give you a tissue
So i ****** it up
Being brave stuck like a suction cup
Laugh it off like i never gave a ****
My life was ***** but my moms was a mess
If others saw my struggle they would consider my life blessed
They saw people tumble and crumble for less
But the real ones always wish you the best

Heroine addicts follow streams under thin skin
Your slowly killing yourself again and again
Skipping lifes movie waiting for the credits to end
10 shots 20 cops lock one man in a pin
Thick bars with faded scars poetry without the paper and pen
The problem is that there is no help
Just many witnesses
Guilty to the soul who fails to show us his innocence
You didnt do the crime but blind minds cant see the differences
Yes we all sin like the ending of the book of genisis

People need to understand the struggle
Know that some people dont have the muscle to stand
No family to give him a hand
Distant relationships so far like earth to mars no stars to climb on
All alone dial the phone no ring tone
Shhh
Silence like dumpster babies
Mothers making deals with hades
Couldn't afford prescription ******
So you wait 9 months to take 9 seconds to get a garbage bag
Throw the baby away then run off to class
You dont wanna be late
Today a good lesson about the value of fate
Learn to own up to every single mistake
Ok your sorry well im sorry your late

There is a hussle in the struggle and its hard to recieve
That there are many different people who struggle with fees
Too many of them its like your dealing with flees
You need someone to bless you
But you forgotton to sneeze

Every body is losing grasp and keep on falling on knees
Tryna hide behind cover but there is no leaves on the trees
The hussle of a struggle is always hard to achieve
Only one savior can make all man truly believe

You were my home
My endless supply of comfort to my wounded heart
My happy when my sky was blue
For a hue of you was medicine
I would bleed and bleed
Drip drip dripping wet tears on dry pavement
A trail of tears for searching eyes

Was It wise
For me to assume that you were blind
Unconsciously following along
Preoccupied with other trails
Do I need a leash with bells for you to listen?
Do I need brail upon my skin for you to read, why I decide to breath?

Do I need to pay attention?
Do I need new prescription lenses?
Have you been smiling all this time?
I know you love my flaws like broken dolls
Young children can't forget.

I forgot to stay
When sky's are gray
To know if you are true
I packed too quick
I made me sick
I chosen to see love blue

I took my heart
Left her drip drip dripping
A trail of broken tears
Hoping for searching eyes

I was always too blind
To pay attention

Glance a gentle stare
That causes the skin to be bare
Tender to the lightest touch
Or a ginger smile
Dance in grace on a ballroom tile
Bid thee a moonlit dream
Silence my empty scream
Deaf be not the star
Black be not the tar upon ones heart
Only the sweet delight
Of ones sight
Can dissever my bond from misery
Will solve the crude mystery
Behind ones intent to remove the soul
Destroy all memories of a summers stroll
Longing for a few days
Dark skies instead of sun rays
Drown the candle in mourning
Be grateful instead of yearning
Opening vacent hands doesn't compesate
Until you let your pain
Evaporate

Your world revolved around destinations
A length in time that defined your reason to live
A distance one must travel to be heard
Your sore feet must ache
All the pain your heart could take
Spread out like loose gravel
Shoes have no sole yet you still travel
I am scared that you will lose your will to walk
I am scared that your world will simply drop
You will think your are nothing
I will be trying to make you see
To help you see why you take a step everyday

I am scared that I will need to wear your shoes
Bare the weight of the your world
Give you a chance to breath, rest, love
Help you remember all your destinations

I'm a afraid I won't be able to move

I close my eyes
And wished upon the rumors of a dandelion
Counting through my endless supply of box's full of overused stardust, the wishes that solidified when spoken

I finally found the childhood dream I thought was to stupid to speak

The dream that made me hold my breath so no one could solidify it before it could spread its wings
Then label me for spilling out my own human opinion

My lips stay closed
Locked and sealed away in a thin line
Scared that the world would be curious
And peel my lips off, bash my teeth in
Just to make me speak
That's what the world does when you decide to be silent
... But the world needs to know
I cannot hide this anymore

Maybe the world could lend an ear
And not criticize the shooting stars in my eyes

Maybe the world will look at my starry eyes and wish it plausible


I open my mouth
And present the world with my wish

"I wish...
for peace"

I **** in my desperate breath
And blow away the seeds of life
Watching it drift along slowly
My words testing the air
Solidifying
Solidifying

I look out into the horizon
The morning dew falling out of their earthly homes
Natures suicide bombers
Plummeting to the ground

Man running toward man
Arms flailing
Guns waving
Screams cascading
Lives erasing

War played in front of me
Laughing at my solidified wish
That is resting in my ****** palms
Peace can't save my chipped and  cracked teeth
My peeled and beaten lips


I should have kept my mouth shut

Bar dreams came dripping in
Beer bottles a headrest
Towers of bottles tops for weary eyes
Moonlight will capture my tries
Morning light will fill my demise

Wake me up when my mind stops raining
Flooding the gate of pain
Hurtful shadows taking my sane
Peaceful remedies go down the drain
Love always forgeting my name

Goodbye says the sun
The sky fell asleep all over agian
So did the smile from her eyes
All I see is frostbitten grass
Talk to the light while dusk tries to pass
Make your way to the end of all wars
Dont look down
Dont you fall to the floor
Someone has to remember my name
The stars remember nothing
When clouds drift ahead
While misty liqueur came making me drunk
I awake and I'm lost in my mind
I have taken the last of my time
I end up escaping the murderous fiends
I'm always hating these midnight bar dreams

Cracked
Pieces dropping like crystal rain
Everywhere
                                   Everywhere
                 Everywhere
Scattered out like paper snow
Please make my stanza a snow angel
Help my color blind eyes see emotions
The deep dark pain
The violet sympathy
For the maroon agony
Divided by the serene white line
A sign for hollow peace
Near green oak trees by the shallow midnight blue lake
Yellow sunshine lingering on the deep water surface
Peace an eye full of imagination
Taking a long dip
**** and engulfed in lifes wonders
Yet I watch colorblind but aware of you smilling at the sight
Kissing the natural misty air
Beauty of black and white
In the essance...
Of my vivid imagination

Look at your torn fingers
Wrapping around transparent love
Grasping at what you perceive as real
Based on fear of losing everything
You could not bare the endless possibilities
That reside in your flawed mind
Speaking foreign languages of false gods
Cupids illusion for perfect hearts
The perfect rendition of serenity
Yet we are all flawed
Radioactive identities in the ***** hands of death himself
Pleading... praying for a drip of pure water to let my demons go
To help me see a vivid love once agian

Travelers of ancient times define pathways as divine temptations
Paths that can lead a flock of lambs to kingdom come or to a deathly sun
Blind eyes could see the words
Etched deep inside stone tablets
Jehovah be of golden truth
He envisions all likes of love
That wills me to make my fingers bleed
And grasp what i can not see
For faith be the only reason why

I know its real

Famished and Beaten
Like a broken punching bag.
I can't take this abuse.
                                       My mind tells me this.

Unconvinced or scared
To slow down and observe.
A road full of stop signs.
I look forward and move with no sign of worry.
Tickets s
              p
                i
                 l
                  l
                   i
                    n
                      g
                         from the glove compartment.

                                       My mind defines me.

Shadowed palm trees.
Dreams of sunny weather.
Snowflakes drowning the sun.
Dreams never last forever.

                        I'm glad it doesn’t last forever.

Muffles from the late night arguments.
Neighborhood dogs intruding into the conversation.
Stay out of this affair!

                                     We are not good kids.
                                     Say the divorce papers.

I hope street corner hobos
Don't whisper for spare change.
I would spare change
If change could spare me.
                                                          Change?
Rearrange the emptiness.
A reason to find time to seek.
Shadows hiding from sun rays.
                                             I am the shadow.

A discolored and obscene dream.
Wake me from the night terrors.

                            Before I scream.

The visual arts of a pastel skyline
Shining through the deepest tunnel
Gliding through sun kissed petals
Shift back and forth like an empty rocking chair

No sight of someone sitting there
Why does it rock rock rock to and fro?
There aren't any signs that wind will blow
Green prairie grass following along
As if the world was welcoming you home

After fighting demons centurys ago
The mental beasts came intruding
Empty spaces now a color red instead
Killing useful sleep before I lay my head
An abrupt departure of my Ill mind
Kept asking me to seek of peace

No map will lead me there
Buddhist temples guide me towards the pastel skyline
The starry night
A distant sight of hope
Sparkling crystals in my black wine

Please do not pleed for rainbows
The pretty colors jumping for joy along a timeline
Of my pastel skyline
I am always drowning
For its hard to swallow the color blue
Because of heavy rain

Through years of confinement
The torture of a diseased mind
I found the grass to mock me
Without my blind eyes knowing
A rock rock rocking chair
Begging for me to sit
And dream of pastel skylines
Portraits of crystal stars
Water Lillie's on a white canvas
Drifting down a colored river
Spreading to the open sea

If only I could see
With these weak blind eyes of mine
Then maybe...
I could see me smiling

The air falls slowly to my feet
My lungs losing oxygen every step i take
I'm frightened by the choices I make
Do I take a step
On hope of breathing again
Or will I suffer from suffocation

Will the trees know I'm falling
Will they watch and shed their dew
Clouds come rolling over mountains
To tumble along with me
Maybe to cover up
The ****** of gravity

The air along my feet
Blood stained eyes gloss over
Looking at the deep blood moon
As it begins to get closer
I want to grab it
And end its suffering
I do not want the moon to share my fate
Or the stars will grow to hate
Why they sparkle
And fade to a galaxy
With no gravity
So they can know
The reason why they glow

And I will fade all the same
Because my lungs have forgotten
How to breath
And my hope
No longer knows how to float
Because gravity told lies
And my air doesn't want to listen
My eyes dont pay attention
To the ground coming rapidly
My legs no longer have the will to move
My mind has nothing else to lose

Depression understood gravity
And used it on my body and soul
The sun will come tomorrow
I can feel it in my bones
I can feel it in muscles
As I slowly get up

And breath again

Spray paint rolling and spilling liquid
Vandalizing a mothers hope
Or showing what's inside his cry
A picture for his empty mind
Take a look what will you find
Letters of graffiti spelling
Help...
Drugs spilling down each letter
Getting addicted to the style

Drug dealers in trench coats
Opening wide to see a different galaxy
A different world many wish to journey
Vain an endless road
****** riding along the pathway

Comics books become heros'
Saving the little kids from magazines
Not the paper one
But the one that slides into pistols
And carrying one can make you feel like everyone's a bad guy

TV becomes a distraction from the gun shots outside our window
And inside everybody is shaking in their own skin
Wondering if today brings another drive by

A little boy looking out the window for his father
His father left nothing behind
But the boy believes he forgot something
Or he is lost and trying to find his way back
And he is praying for superman to save him
Or for superman to save the little boy

This boy doesn't know how to cope with the heart ache
So he shows it with vandalism
A word that says help
That gets dusted with sprinkles of crack
He becomes addicted to the style
Showing the world that their are different galaxy's
Places he doesn't like but he's addicted to the style
His mother's hope vandalized
He is sorry but he is in a different world
Come into his mind
And find the sentence
That's covered in crack
"Help... I'm addicted to the style"

Amongst the sapphire roses
The stems dance along the dust
That spreads on winds of you

Morning came like the past
Beating down a mountain valley
Conjuring up a lovers rally
Could we dally upon subtle dreams?
A kiss planted inside the skin
No makeup could change its view
A façade I bid adue

A world where you are you

And I
Loving the plum blossoms
That formed upon your skin
Nature causing beauty to be natural
Not transformed into potions
Built by peoples emotions
For we learned to love the river
A purest source of freedom
That drifts along your rivers roots
That I bloomed to love

You became nature
And I learned how to photograph with my eyes

She stared past the windowpane
Studying the rain drops
As if she was outside
Floating along the puddles
She would jump in as a kid
Smiling as if the clouds would part
But now
She feels each rain drop
Gently graze her cheek
As she remembers
The black umbrella on the pavement
And her heart staining the concrete red
Causing a path to open wide
And her strength to override

And she remembers
The long beep
The white halls
The blurry vision
As the words repeat
"Shes gone"
The blue eyes she adored
Trying not to let go of her
As they slip to dream forever

She remembered
Her dreams
A poets dream
To never forget
The ink spots
And how she loved
To sing the words
The watery words
The flowed down her soul like rivers
Drowning her in blues
That formed the sky she looked upon daily

The windowpane was the only place
Where she could see
The other side of the smile
The other side of free

A place where she could remember
What she chose to forget

I drift... And drift
Along the ocean floor
The streets of Atlantis
In search of land masses
Or little coral reefs of hope
Waging war with the oceans currents

But when I come to light
A revolving light
That conquers the fleets of darkness
Spreading rays of life to trenches
A place where their is no reason to believe
I wonder...
A desire to ponder on shooting stars
The thin golden line
That says
maybe...
And nothing more
As if to show
That maybe
Is all I need know

So I base my mind on sunshine
And beg
Beg the light to guide my boat ashore
To at last open up my door
And bring the sun into the ocean
Boil my doubts to smoke
A gray cloak of fear
But bring me tears
Joy will remember
The gateway to dawn
And dusks swan song

The endless presence
That lingers little words  
That let me drift.... And drift
Towards the lighthouse

That answered my silent call for help

Casting shadows near and far
Born along ally ways
Peering into my chamber door
Whom may see the broken glass
The hollow silhouette
Still dancing ballet
Along my picket fence
Ink wounds on my crumbled pages
A sign to wash and rinse
Today I speak of words
While shadows wonder why I speak
Running from the deepness inside
Scared of what they'll find
Inside that chamber door of mine

They wonder why I ask for a reason
Stealing dreams is a costly treason
Theft has taken my memories
A memorial day for ally ways
For shadows that want to hear
How it is to be real
I could only spill the ink
And crumble up my pages again
Forevermore
To understand why my chamber door
Creaks!

Oh! Light from far came to blow  
While stars from space sunk deep below
Planets said farewell to thee
Longing to be gone and free
"Or destined for some sympathy!"
Prowling around what's right or wrong
Perhaps to sing an angels song
At last! Mankind looks away from shame
A caste system for the picture frame
Protruding from a willows cry
A witches potion of lullaby
Sleep the futures night away
For night has nothing else to say
Blankets of dusk came silently
A dawn a sudden mystery
Ink inside my hollow vain
An ocean deep inside the rain
Melancholy hell came rapping
Can you hear the tap tap tapping
Hopefully its not the world again

I've walked many places
Many journeys unspoken of
Inner cities of my mind
Underground railroad
The streets of Salem
Marching for the word
A whisper in a city's dream

I looked to see the faces
A look of determination
As their stomach starts caving in
Ribs poking out
Mountains of disire
Watching...
As the white man gobbles food
Grinning for another day
American flag flying high
Confederate sitting beside
Laughing at fallen man
Monsters of the cotton field
Fear nesting in remains
Bullets holes holding on
A home for sin

I am hungry and tired
Melting from the pits of hell
Or the ground of more to come
I'm sick
Needing treatment
Needing king
To help me march
And the true god to help me sing

And we watch
Oh we watch for hope to rain
Needing freedom on our plate
Believe me
We all are starved

Clouded water of dreams
Do not catch waterfalls
For I have bathed
Countless times

A soapy residue making islands
There isnt a civilization to explore
No boats to lure
To that lonely shore

So do not give me false hope  
False gods on copper thrones
Restless cold nights
No comfort in the covers
Thunderstorms yelling a warning...
Warning me from lightning

Do not dub me stupid
For I can see
The room of mirrors
Changing the man
Confusion in the laughter
That somber way you stare
Do you dare close your eyes
To determine whether you have a pair

Morning is soon to come
Rain fall to a brighter sun
Pools of liquid gold
Hope now has hand holds
Forever grasp
Don't let it pass
A moment lullaby

You mean to catch the birds that sing
For its your turn
To sleep tonight

Peacefully

Addictive dust on the kitchen table
I am left out on the street
A small piece of residue
Has brought my life defeat

I live inside the bullet holes
The drive by on a home
Minds corrupted visions
Of what is told and what is shown

I'm homeless to the soul
Divided from the mind
A fragment of a smile
That I seemed to leave behind

To end a life forever
You can use an empty gun
For it is still a ugly weapon
When another doesn't have one

The ****** is a distraction
The lies inside the truth  
The same type of words
That give the answers to the youth

For the ghettos of a healthy mind
Could make the knife seem dull
Could sacrifice the world for you
But slowly **** us all

Words we kept forbidden
Adventure back into my heart
Words I've longed to hear from you

I love you
Those dying words
I cannot live to hear it once

Hello
Am I speaking softly
Greetings from different worlds
Hola or bonjour
Will you recognize my tries

I'm tired of screaming
Inside this open mind
Why don't you pick up so I can listen
Just one more time

Maybe start over
Laugh again
Hoping, wishing this time
My heart won't flip and spin

I will remember
Everything
Tears that fell with the rain
The silence that made me insane

So I'll plead
For an answer
Not a voicemail

I memerized every word
Every pitch
Saying "I can't come to the phone"
That can't always turns to I won't

I'm left stranded
Excluded for your welcoming arms
Never to hear hello
Until I'm gone
Down inside this grave

Maybe then...

I'll hear...

I love you

Dear shattered moon
Let your pieces drag the sun
Shooting stars forming rainbows
Untill the dawn has begun

Jigsaws in formations
Millions of dreams to explore
Basking in the rays of you
Reflecting the waves on shore

Towers leaning, obtaining
The warm décor
Flowers on the open air
The smiles painted under a dusty floor

Little whispers of art
Black holes in empty rooms
Constellations in the moon
Loves evaporating fumes

To be not one with ones self
Half and half inside your coffee cup
A difference between
Six feet under and a million miles up

Never disturbing
The content of the beast
The savaging lust
The constant of the feast

Patient of a rendering love
Picture frames holding foreign lands
I could only roam in silent days
When darkness and light came hand in hand

Drown not just the stars
But the strings attached
Puppets of a sinner
The bridge collapsed

Mighty hands are the only hands
That could build the moon again

She came just like the wind
Gusts of lust
Spreading to my plains
For my grass could only wave
Her sun was such a blaze
In that moment
Nothing could compare

She became a thief
For she stole my only heart
A sweet serenade
My woes seem to fade
An everlasting call
Passion on a moonlit dreary
A kiss for a stary night
Deep love can feel so eerie
In my world
Nothing could compare

I took her hand into the chapel
A ring full of promises
Born from the dust we made
The dawn of genesis

Could heaven see the pain
The rain inside her mind
Could heaven know I'm trying
When all I make are broken umbrellas

Shame hidden in the sand dunes
Grains to fit the ash
Silent love produce spoken words
Trust becomes the problem
For I have loved
And grew tired of empty games
Games with no reward
No winner or loser

Nothing could compare
To this nightmare

Mankind in a wasteland
Sacrificing quality for quantity
Naked money trees
Blood stains on the leaves

Risking love for war
Creaked yet open door
Beyond this dusty floor
Reveal a future that does not miscarriage
For I'm tired of losing hope
Inside this worn graveyard

Should I sacrifice my life for torn petals?
Should I question drinking cyanide?
Or tasting acid strips on rainy days?
Base my life on human imperfection
To define what my mind could dream
Judge what in life is serene

Mankind in a wasteland
Too sureal to feel a need to smile
Human kindness rotting
Smelling foul

But beautiful could it be
Love in sweet serenity
Living to love another's skin
Lending a dream
To a man in need
Children born by a lonely seed

Laughter killing the cyanide
Stars inside my cup
As I sip on paradise
On human wastelands

I waded in our tears
I scooped up our remains
And wept
For I was the only one wading
Empty waters I can only regret
A soulless river
Space along the waterfalls
I cannot breath
For you have always been my oxygen

I drown on a teaspoon of you
I multiplied zero with two
Nothing came from something
Proof of troubled waters
In a wishing well

I cannot look at the beauty
Fog on the submarine glass
Chills seem to pass
On waves born by giants
Playing in puddles
Games built by riddles
A maze within the downpour
Clouded blue sky divide
these waters belong in the sky
Please deep sun
Evaporate the rain as it falls
This deluge is too much for me

I placed myself upon ancient dreams
Ruins of a healthy mind
Defined in stories of a broken heart

Unreadable written words
Reaping between the lines
Meanings tumble down muffled speech
Stubbed arms
A dream to reach
Beyond machinery

Replaced by crumbled doom
A bed
No mattress at all
Nails a substitute
Uneven they all seem
Yet I sleep soundly

House with no furniture
No room to settle down
Lost
Forever found
Inside this silence of this town
Where the traffic of this city

Say I dwell

Love to grinded dust
Do not blow in the wind
Hollow tree
An empty me
Pouring dust into human palm
To make a fist
Another scar
Love could not speak words
Poetry to the star
Glowing an endless reign
Minds clouded rain of sane
Could a puddle be enough
A reflection of you
Along the morning dew  
The white eyed moon
Looking at my craters


Saying "We are the same"

Hatred caused the darkness
That radiated the land
Perspiring a toxic fume
Pollution covering the dawn of freedom
Causing a grey sky
The flowers die
The soil rich with poison

Beauty abandoned the colors
Abolishing the glow in deep eyes
Acid rain inside a dry mind
Love lost interest of its golden shrine

For gold has rotten teeth
And love yearned for peace
Violence could not find a home
Love had to leave its throne
And find a reason to dream a sickly smile
Yet choose to stay awhile
But where

In the dark a rose bloomed
Dawn did not know how to accept
How sunshine would glow after the sun would set
But we looked
And finally dreamed
Of many things
The why's
The where's
The how's

Our questions could not be answered
Nor denied by prophecy
Only examined by the mystery

Elders only asked
While the rain turned to ash

Would you trust it?

I have caught words

Unheard...
For awhile now

Seeking each meaning behind them
The cracks inside "Love"
The light within "darkness"
Holding on the the memory of me
Comparing each scar with my own
Wondering if I could bleed the same metaphor

Would that make me a poet
Or a dreamer
When I look into the stars
And find a smile along the constellations
Or a lonely tree
On top of the sea
Saying I may be deep
But I'm solid enough to hold you

Would it make me a poet
Or a carpenter
If I build towns inside of my heart
Structures onto your pretty mind
The tower for two
The twin towers
That sadly fell without warning

Would it make me a poet
Or a scuba diver
If I dived into your eyes to find a smile untamed
Or sink into muddy waters
You say is your home

Would it make me a poet
Or a singer
If I could change the way you think
With a word or two
If I could hum a tune
And that would make you see a different point of view

I searched for answers inside a thick mind
Trying to find words inside an onomatopoeia
A message behind my minds colorful Aurora
Compelling a reason along life's aroma
Questioning the play of letters
That simply spell
P
O
E
T
R
Y

This is who I say I am
But I don't fully understand

Am I a poet?
Or just an adventurer

A fractured gaze
Of a broken maze
Along the happy mind
For if to intertwine
With this broken heart of mine

Dream of a lost cause
Fixing up a scar
Hoping for a beat
Is like grabbing for a star
For to see beyond the impossibility
Of an aching hearts simplicity
To turn around the old effects
Reverse the way the sun would set
end the pulsing neglect
Trying to bud the blooming gloom

My eyes could not fathem
The endless charades
Loved and to be loved
In constant raids
You...
Trying to win each fight

My smiles are louder then the words I have spoken
You proved to a hurting soul
That a heart wasn't meant to be broken

Dancing stars so blue
The comets reflected hue
Gazing at the me inside each star

Afar, in fact in mars
Sits a rusty smile
Awhile, I stared
Truly scared
Of why it even dared to laugh
Does it care?
Can it see that rust sits there?

No, its blind
It cannot find
A reason not to be beautiful

But I wondered still
Why the crescent doesn't spill
It tilts and tilts
Not dripping any dreams
Holding on to the beams
Reflected by the ocean
Deep it may seem

Yet I drip and drip
Dreams falling to the well
So much water I could sail for miles
Sail on dreams perhaps
Until my crescent snaps
Until my hope collapses

But I still wonder
Why I care?
Do I consider my life fair?
Is the reflection hard to bare?

Their are ripples in the mirror
And all I can do is wade

Here is my heart
Can you see the love
Radiating dreams for two
Can you see the tears fall
A stream of golden blue
I waited a lifetime ago
Along the infinite possibilities
That ended with little tragedies
That made my heart have scars
That are invisible to the eye
The night knows from my cry
Weeping with each thump that came from the rain
The watered down pain
That I hid from your smile
For decades

At this moment
While I reveal my illness
My feverish chill
That came with the river upon my cheek
Endless echo of words on repeat
That cut me deep
That made me weak
Said "I cannot love you"

For I cannot love you in the dark
I cannot kiss the air
And pretend that you are there

And I cannot MAKE you love the dark either
I cannot MAKE you see what's waiting inside the darkness
Even if I shine brighter then the moon
Darkness will always be a place you will forget
In that darkness...

My presence never existed

Sky of bleeding red
Lift not one soul today
Let rain come dripping
Drops along a canvas unscathed
Seeking creation along paper terrain

Yellow sun glides along
Causing streaks of hope yet found
Still inside the dry paint sits a comglomeration of an artist's palate
Seeking new ways to finger paint a story
Yet too sureal to let the imagination roam

An unusual free reign to feel insane
To smell the blue of rain
To hold the golden grain
To end the familiar pain
Black streaks daily

Maybe....

We all have a hidden palate
Born by given talent
Tucked away in the cracks of self doubt
Building towers of color
In a great amount
But sown into the cloth of everyday wear

One day our hands will shed different colors
Will spread along each line
Cascading down like waterfalls in the mist
We will hand print our worlds
And become a new picture
In a world full of torn pages

I have lived in your eyes forever
I have built stable love inside your retinas
The Taj Mahal on sacred land
I found myself attached to every nerve ending
Sparking signals of love into your busy brain
Lifting the weights off the corners of you lips
Showing a smile any man would fall for
But no man could ever fall as deep as me
No man could ever understand the color of your golden brown eyes like I do
The hardship of your day
The sadness in that way you say
"I'm fine"
When your crying
My house begins to crumble
My Taj Mahal begins to crack
I become homeless
Living on the streets of loneliness
Waiting for our rain to stop
So believe me when I say
Your happiness
Your love
Is my foundation
The reason I can still build stable love
The Taj Mahal on sacred ground
Without you
I'm just a color
A color that speaks beauty
But says nothing at all

Is the ocean long?
Or is the ocean deep?
Will I walk 1000 miles?
Or sink 1000 feet?

Will I drown in liquid misery?
Or fall in rays of hate?
Will I walk my chosen path?
Or will I scuffle with my fate?

Will I embrace the raging rapids?
Or will I consume the beating flame?
Will I be judged?
And not ordained

To be insane
In times of here and now
Time has seen me crumble
And time will see me bow

When I fall
Their will be no surprise
The sun will only stare
And laugh at my demise

Then I will realize
In the soul of every beat
That I have walked 1000 miles
And will sink a 1000 feet

But not to take defeat
Or die with no love to keep
But to tell a story to the youth
Of why my soles are weak

Silence of the lamb
Calls forth the hungry wolf
And lets the day become the night
Ending all peace that consumed the land
Blame has killed many souls
And pain as wished a soul, gone
So in life
Its only chance to feel was in the heartbreak
Deep within the cracks
That made home
Feel like an empty chair
A door that was left wide open
A door that was left unspoken

I awaken the dawn
To see the sunshine spill over mountain tops
Every ray sends fragments of memories
That seemed to die years ago
But choose to live in the dark hollow spots of my mind
Only revealing when its half past bourbon
When liquid courage is the only courage you have
And that memory stabs the what ifs and the maybes
Dropping coins into the wishing well of time
Every coin is a desperate need to find a piece of yourself
And every shot glass is an excuse
But you don't care about the eyes that look at you
Your to busy looking at the golden colored mountain
That translated love in ways no man could know
But you lived it
You know why the sun spills over the mountain tops
And you know the haves and the have nots
But before you can find the empty pieces
You fall into the bourbon on the rocks
And sink into the coma of amnesia
That you always find yourself in
Day after day after day

Night of ash
Is soon to pass
On lands of weeping hearts

Tears of tar
Along the bar
Shots will hit the mark

Scrapes of you
Come all undo
Or perhaps all ripped apart

The sun came today
Then went away
Forever lost in dark

Introductions to familiar faces
Voiding out the empty spaces
Our chance to just restart

Your mirror eyes were like the sea
I looked inside to see a better me
But being broken wasn't smart

I have lost all inspiration
our stars forgot their constellations
We have lost the love for art

So in this ash
I'll burn and crash
On lands of weeping hearts

When the stars are to full
They explode
Erupting my welcome to my galaxy
Diminishing my humble abode

Leaving sweet rain of pain
Numbing my emotions
The supernova
Of novacaine

**** sweeping on loose gravity
Spreading out vastly
Sparkling from the sun
Shining light on the aftermath

But I still laugh
On laughing gas
While shooting stars rain down
On humanity

Insanity in society
Still looks on
Novacaine in their northern lights
The stars behind the façade
Still explode

When dawn struck the petals of her beautiful flowerbed
Her eyes would glow
A sweet amber glow
That stopped the rapid flow
Of the cursed river of yore
That flooded my unstable floor

Her happiness stuck to the roots
And her soul blossomed with the petals
Oh I love this woman
More than every petal
Of every flower
That fell upon the flowerbed
She cherished more then life

Then as she bloomed so did a lump
A lump that grew in her ovaries
That sent pain to my heart
Took my will to be strong
And ripped it apart
There was no cure
We both were fragile in our days
So we wept with the dew that fell from the roses and the white lilies
They cried while they wilted too

As we cuddled by the cold fire
In our final hour
When trying to be strong
Was our only power
You looked me in my eyes
Searching for hope
Searching for a hope I have not found myself and said
"Don't let my garden die like me
For I am that garden
I am the dawn that sparkles on the petals
Please don't let the dawn become the darkness we are in now"

I look into her eyes as they slip on the efforts of staying up for  my answer
A blank stare
That stares at nothing
But she listens all the same
"You my beautiful rose will never die"

She smiles as she falls into a deep sleep
Saying a goodbye that will not be said forever
I kiss her forehead and whisper
"I will see you in the morning"

I wake up before dawn
The trees were still sleeping
The flowers slowly dying
The moon still peeping
I bring out my rose and dig into her flowerbed
By the roses and white lillies
Then put her into the ground
She is still smiling
My wife has met peace
And I have met true love
Together will never wilt
I cover her in a mound of dirt
And wait for my wife to shine

As the sun began to be reborn
My wife was still gone
Gone like the moment when she said goodbye
I begin to curse my faith
I ask the question why
Why me
Why did she have to go
I aim my wraith to my creator
Why...
I bow my head in greif
Letting my tears fall upon a closed morning glory
That was not there before
It begins to open
I smile and say
"Good morning my love"

Walking into my room
I see a lonely primrose
Looking to the sun
Dying while it goes...
Slowly

Tears fall gently down its petals
It glistens in the sunshine
It does this constantly
Time after time

I have watched her for hours
As she wept away the day
I fell into my dreams
Every time the moon came my way

But tonight I will see this primrose
When the moon rests in the clouds
When lampposts become the sun
When the cities lose their crowds

Oh I will see whats behind my vail of dreams
I will see why I don't hear her weep
I will witness that precious moment
When the primrose and the moon will meet

Time passes me
My eyes can feel it go by
Dropping into my dreams
Reality is saying goodbye

But then
As the moon gently arrives
The primrose looks up
Her quiet sobs slowly subside

I have seen the beauty of golden rivers
The sunshine over the mountain top
Snow on the green pine trees
I have seen the orange in the sun rise pop

But I have never
Or I ever
Seen this divine beauty
That will live with me forever

This primrose bloomed
In my once room of gloom
In the silver bright light
Of the wide eyed moon

It was quiet at that moment
Silence was its gorgeous view
The primrose looked at its only love
And said...
"I cannot live without you"

Sitting on the table are white memories
Spread out like a piece of paper
Begging to be colored in
Begging to feel again

Beside of its mystery
Sits a candle
Shining brightly
Smiling my way as I walk inside
It is clueless of what I've been through

Colors gather around the lifeless sheet
Wondering where they will roam
Questioning why they are even alive
I am the painter of my life
They will know every inch soon enough

The paint brush knows my hands
We will build each memory together

RED
Our love was like a rose
Its beauty was flawless
Our bench by the rose bush smiles brightly
Your lips are all I can remember

BLUE
Those lonely nights when you would weep
Rain drops falling from your ocean
Filling our bedroom with water
All we could do was drown
...Together

YELLOW
The sun lightens up your smile
Oh your smile so beautiful was it so
I use to smile every time I thought of it
But now I shed a tear

GREEN
Your favorite color
You would always wear the emerald I bought you
You would cherish it always
Now always is gone and the emerald is at the bottom of the sea

BLACK
The lies
The lies of him
The lies of you
The lies of us
You left me all alone
Weeping unforgivable lies

The white memories are full of color
Full of emotion
A colored heart that bleeds of rainbows
Sits on the table
By the candle that frowns while I leave
It has grown fragle
Just...like... me

When will that candle fall
And burn my house down?