I'm really ****** sick again
Lay time I was sick was last summer
That was the first time I fell in love with you
I wonder what will happen this time
As the stars in the sky shine a bit more dimly
And the moon looks on wth passive sympathy
******* this would be easier if you stayed

Hey
I came home for a weekend
Took long enough right?
I just went into my bedroom
After spending the night with the family
Last time I slept here it was with you
Your hair was still in the sink
All the tell tail signs of our lazy day in bed
Just starting at me
And as I was cleaning it all up
It struck me why you texted me a few weeks ago
I know you probably don't read this anymore
But I think you are miserable enough now
And I'm sorry for everything
And that you couldn't sleep here one more time

Back and forth
between the library and the pharmacy
heres this book to memorize
here is this pill to make you happy
running myself ragged
I wonder if me from a while ago would recognize me know
God I was so happy back then
Still had my bouts mind you
But there was always a childlike joy
But we all grew up didn't we?
Our hearts become shattered remnants
Our faces full of hair
Our stomachs full of laughing air
and our lungs full of a constant sickness
I turned into an old man before I had the chance to be young
And I made it that way
It was never her fault
It was never this city
It was always me
It was always me

Keeping me up at night
I can't get you out of my head
And how you use to laugh
At every ******* thing I said

We all know what I meant
When I whispered into our shared rooms darkness
One drunken spring night
We all knew I meant what I said
I know you'd be sad if I was gone man
But sometimes we gotta get of the train early

Washing down the anti-depressants
With alcohol
Even though the two counteract eachother
I feel as if there is some irony there
As I am about to blackout
And I can't see straight
I have to hide taking pills from almost everyone
They wouldn't understand

It's only after the drinks are flowing
And the conversation is going
God I'm alone
These people are my friends
But **** do I feel alone
I see the stars
And I feel alone
I look at the world through my camera
And am never the subject
I am so ******* alone