Monday is the go getter, and nobody respects him for that

Tuesday is always on the verge of a nervous breakdown because no one likes her

Wednesday looks up to everybody else, and holds them together

Thursday is the responsible one that makes sure everyone is fed

Friday is never home, and is always drunk with Saturday

Saturday just goes with Friday to make sure he's okay

And Sunday dresses in all black, and then all white, becuase she doesn't know who she is

Past present future, what defines you? Do you let all those things you regret never doing, those hours spent asking why does everybody else have what I want even though I'm better then them? Or do you live in the closer past where you hate yourself for thinking that. Or maybe you live in the present, just trying to be happy before the future tears everything apart. Perhaps you live in the future, where you are so focused on the stars you never realize when the earth leaves you behind.

The things we do

For those approving looks

Those things not in books

Something from inside

Always done to hide

We change our appearance  

To leave subtle hints

Slowly killing ourselves

Putting ourselves through the Trials of hell

So that we can lie to our reflection

And tell them without a hint of doubt

I'm happy

Even though behind your eyes

You are screaming

Because you don't recognize the person

I've never fallen in love

Except every time I make eye contact for more than a second

With that girl who looks like the type of girl

That I think would like me

And I don't think they do

I mean I'm just some guy looking a bit to long

Then I get up from my seat

Saying this will be the time I talk to her

As I walk by her and pay for my coffee

And walk out the door

I think she was watching me go

So I've never fallen in love

Do you ever have pathetic dreams? Sound asleep, and you wake up and remember a dream where you were a pathetic creature to who you are now. A fetid little creature, too afraid of being judged to talk to others, but spouts how it isn't fair. A horrid sight, a man wasting away from eating to much, slowly killing himself in temporary relief, becuase the only time he feels safe is when he is eating. A sobbing mess of a man, beating his fist into the pillows that don't deserve the abuse.  A sad excuse for an intellectual, who is to dumb to realize he's addicted to his depression.  I wonder what the pathetic dreams are?

You sit on your back deck, staring out across the frozen lake. The stars slowly move across the sky. It's 12:50 AM. You realize that even though you have friends and family that love you, the only thing you need is someone to care for, someone to love.

So you sit on your deck. You might grab a blanket or two, but you know they won't stop you getting cold. You know it's too late for that. You listen to the ice creack, it's almost spring time so the ice weakened during the day. You listen to the wind play across the field, scared of your life and what's happening.

You might have had a girl in your life once, but you were dumb and things didn't work out. It might have been your fault, but odds are it wasn't. Odds are she just couldn't take being around you anymore, saying you made her depressed. Then you realize that you just lost a great chance to change your life around.

So you sit out on the deck.

You watch the stars glide across the sky.

You might shed a few tears, but this goes beyond any physical depression.

This is a bleak, lifelong, emotional abyss kind of sadness. And you are scared and alone, and all you want is someone to look at you and say:

"Everything will be okay. Come with me."

Instead, you sit on your deck.

You watch the stars move.

And you die inside.

Goodnight.

I try to act like my ideal. That guy I want to be in my head. But no one tells that guy that walking along alone hurts more than anything. That not caring about what people think about me makes me care so much more. That now that I have a perfect person to be like, anything less makes me feel worse. My ideal me, what a concept. I wonder if he agonizes over everything his friends say. Does he agonize over being alone? Seeing all his friends start to get into relationships and be happy? Seeing all his friends leave together leaving him to fight university alone? Does he know that that decision was his fault? Does he even care? Why would he. I'm the shadow of a great man, if only in my head.