Forever lingering on the cusp of Love and Hate, within myself.
Forever searching in the abyss, in everyone.
To see which ones deep and dark like mine.

Why feel anything at all if, at any moment, it, your life, your love, everything, is subject to change at the drop of a pen, at the blink of an eye, at the flutter of a doves feather. Forever is a lie.. A lie told with first loves or friendships. The only thing that is constant is death........

some days you will feel empty and broken
and you will feel the layer of sadness
thicker than ever before.
but i will ask and tell you to live by this,
fore there is no greater thing than to live.
and i will ask and tell you to do it by my side,
fore there is no greater thing than you.

I miss you more than a friend should.  I think about you it does one's heart no good I like you like a crush from my childhood. I crave you the way a lover would. I told you. And you just understood I miss you more than a friend should.

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
I won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
I won't blame you,
instead
I will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and I won't use it
yet.