(I) s this really all that's left?
(C) an I get out as a thinker with a pen?
(A) m I worth the trouble in the end?
(L) ife seems not to think so,
(L) iving the way I do
(I) s it really all that wrong?
(T) o fight a feeling for this long
(V) engance will be mine I swear
(E) ven if all along I cared
(N) ow you've tipped the edge
(T) onight as I hang above my bed
(I) s it going to be enough to turn your head
(N) ow that I am dead
(G) uess not, you never saw your bad
(S) o guess what?
(I) am not mad
(N) ever have been
(C) ause I care too much
(E) ven now that I no longer breathe
(Y) ou still hate me
(O) ut of sight, can you see
(U) nderneath all the skin of me
(W) hat if I peeled it back for you
(O) nce just so you could look
(N) ever again
(T) ill you
(L) ook into the world that you shook
(I) 'm still here and ready to fight at your command
(S) till ready to move the dust, dirt and the sand
(T) his night might just be my last stand
(E) ven though I know
(N) ever again will I be yours

*But that's just my crying right?

I'll be okay.
Even it I can't change your mind.
I'll be alright.

I think differently; that's an issue. If I thought the same I wouldn't write I miss you, it'd be I hate you like I'm supposed to. But I can't which ***** and maybe it's too much or too soon to say we had it rough. Because together nothing and no one could touch us. Like the world couldn't get me,without you is like it's against me. Stupid us, silly me, pretty you. I trusted you, and you left Kitten with hell of a job to do. Broken glass; that can't be ever the same. This ******* mess you made.

I did move on
Doesn't mean
I don't hate you
Just because
I still love you

I'm about to explode on someone close to me. I'm about to be as good to you as you were to me. I'm so close to an disastrous end. My sword is a pen and I'm about to slay a dragon and fend off my demons and knowing me I'll fight 'till the end because I can't stand to give up or give in no matter if this is a fighting I will be winning. Get it? I won't stay another night inside my head because I'm so sick of feeling like my body is made of lead. I just sink deeper into this depressive state like a rock to water. No matter what I feel like I know that someone has it harder. Like some father who's worried a boy'll knock-up his daughter. I'm sorry that you can't handle what your friends think of me, so you'd rather be a martyr to a cause that isn't even worth the cost you'll pay. I know the games you'll play. Watch. She'll ignore you and you'll act sad so she'll feel bad and look at that, you got her attention back. You'll memorize all the little bad things they do. Even if it's an accident and no one cares, except for you. I'll watch from the sideline as you continue to hurt them. You'll eventually run out of pawns for your sick game of *******. We all know this nice act of yours is just a diversion. I don't know how they keep falling for your story. It's like Marley and me; the **** version. So when you're done and finally end up alone, I won't be lonely. I'll sit at home with my wife, Trinity, Jacob and Jamie.

A pretty little girl; the age of sixteen, she never knew how the world could be so mean, and I mean that everyday she was bullied by the same three. She wrote it in a book that no one could read. And she left it on her desk with a note that says, “Who would need me?” Hey pretty girl, why are your eyes so red? Didn’t you know it’s not healthy to never go to bed. Now you see your these people that you like to call friends and yet again they let you down. Today makes ten. And tonight you will try to end, your beautiful life again. You chug down some pills and maybe cut your wrist, the only thing that could save you is a kiss upon your lips. A voice to say that it’s okay and maybe today tell you that everyday isn’t the same as yesterday and life goes on even after the pain. She just wanted that voice of reassurance. Another person to tell her, “You’ll endure this.” They say to take one, but you fill your whole fist. And when that doesn’t work, you take the bullies hint. You grab your gun and scream out, “Look at this!" Your blood spatters the wall, and your family comes to gather. You were the center of it all, now all they had to do was read the letter. Your book, the story of your life. You cast your shadow and it was about to shed some light. A remembrance of all the pain that you had ever felt. “Welcome to my mind. Welcome to my hell."

Exponentially we are all but one.
But separately we are all for one.
Morbidly we are one without all.
But spiritually we are one in all.

If you're listening
the way you say you are
why haven't you heard
me calling out your name
like a wolf calls out to the moon?

The wall you built closes in all around you. Time to finally see what the world is without you. Your parents are out and your brother's asleep. You text all your friends and say goodbye to each. You think of all the pain you've been through. It's unfair to make them stay alive when you don't want to. Grab your bottles, your knives, your rope and lock your door. Pick one of these ways and make your life no more.

One last shudder. My final words were stuttered. Not worth the final energy I had to muster to mutter these useless sounds. A silent cry from deep inside. A free-for-all for the blind. It's all a lie and I searched my heart and I found.
Just let me go. It's my time. My finale comes when I say my final line. I accept these words as useless and feel like I can't compete. Most times these words are fruitless so I won't speak at all.

I want to write you a song, but I shouldn't. I want sing these words, but I couldn't. I want to make you smile, but I wouldn't. I want to write you a letter, but how would I put it? I can't even help myself, so how can I help you? I can't stop lying to me, so how do I remain true to you? I'd give anything not to be useless, but my efforts are fruitless to be nothing but ruthless. I think now's a good time. I'll just leave everyone behind and for a while I'll just be mine and I can finally be safe in my mind without these demons inside screaming, "JUST DIE!" Just let me be me, and please, leave me be. For now at least. I'll be back, but don't expect to walk on me. Not again.

No, a couple sad songs never hurt anyone
Just let the pain go to know that somewhere
Someone was having the same bad run
But they have hurt me, and that's just not fair
I don't think it's real, no it can't be
A bag a of pills, how could this be me?
I don't deserve this, what have I done?
What the hell is this, what have I done?

No, a couple sad songs never hurt anyone
But if you think about it, it's only time
Until we have to say goodbye to this beauteous sun
I guess no one'll ever know that it used to be mine
This can't be real, I used to own these stars
I don't know how to feel, with broken fingers and hearts
Do I deserve this, I think I might
What the hell is this, this can't be right

Yeah, a couple sad songs have hurt me
But that's okay, because I know what I've done
I mean I know I deserve it, but what should I see
When I'm blind and I'm the only one
I know it's real, and I may not have wanted it
But I won't heal, and this is just what I got it's
what I deserve, and I get it now
I still don't know what I did, but this is how I get out

You sat there and laughed at every joke I told. I smiled with when I saw the crinkling of your nose. I'm surprised that I was able to talk with my stomach full of roses. I can't write angrily anymore. Now I just sit upstairs alone and lock my door. Maybe one day I'll use up all the air in here. You can't scare me, I've got nothing to fear. Nothing to lose. No one around to loosen the noose I tied myself to hang from the roof, but I can't stand the sight of you. The one in the reflection. I see myself by day and night, as a constant contradiction with a worsening condition of my overwhelming confliction of emotion. It ***** that I hold on to every word you say. Because no matter who it is, you'll treat the next one the same way. So let me be the next one, cause you're the only one I wanted today.

I still go back and fix my old writings. Keep it tidy and sing my own words so mighty. I allow myself to think it's still a battle worth fighting. Fooled by the faulty lighting and it's frightening to see his grip around you tightening and me just sitting there whining. Still stuck in here minding my own, waiting for someone to reap the what you've sewn. I sit alone on my cell phone in my room waiting for you to come home, but of course I'm trapped like a mouse when I see you. Amazed. Star gaze looking at you. My mind is out of ink so I'll write it on a blank page. Put the fire down while my heart burns for you; Set a blaze. Don't put me out and I won't let you down. Not until you put me six feet under ground. It's hard to imagine that I could be okay, when you say, "Today, I met a boy. I hope this one stays." Yeah until you throw him away like an old toy; Broken. Well let me tell you something, he's broken now and tired of running. I'll walk and when your castle comes crumbling down, you can come back with that beautiful frown and talk to my chalk. Oh my, oh my, It's true. Even after I die, **** right I'll still miss you. But the difference is I'll be free of this torture. I'll have peace and you'll finally be rid of me.

A cry for attention.
You don't want it.
You want their help.
But no one helps.
They will never care.
Because you are weak.
They can't fix you.
Too many shattered pieces.
An old broken reflection.
Not feeling yourself anymore.
And how could you?
Pieces are still missing

Who are we without
the final piece that
complicates our breathing
and
completes us
completely?

This world is a dream with a nightmare underneath. Underneath the hair and head are thoughts of far worse than anything I ever conversed, even when I shared my darkest secrets in your bed. Because who would talk to someone who said they would always be there and then did a reverse? Shunned by the very people who faked the affection that we so rightfully deserve. I've had it done to me by family and friends like I'm under a constant curse. I think that maybe this time it'll be different but it only gets worse. These thoughts are finally getting through the cracks and I'll try as hard as I can to get my words back. I can't hold them all in my hands and you'll choke on them if they ever leave my mouth. This whole thing is about to go south and create doubt of the very thing you sought out. You wanted me to tell you how I feel. Well here it goes: What's the big deal? Who cares what I think or what I say? I'm just another boy on another ordinary day. I can't write poems and I can't sing songs. I can't play guitar and I can't run that long. I'm not another athlete. I'm not the smartest kid. I don't have the best hair. And I can't I'm just another speck along the face of the planet. So who the **** would care if I let myself sink into the dirt to relive the hurt and meet the granite.

Enough about me. I'm through talking. It's like the race for my life and I'm ******* walking. I'm out of breath from these constant tirades. My brain is shattered into 3 pieces. And each is more different as my stability decreases. As my anger increases.

You don't see what I do. You're blind as a bat; You see what you want to. I know what I am inside, but you made me this way. You hit me and the cracks grew. You kissed him and broke us both in too. Go ahead and look what you turned me into. Watch me transition from anger to...

Don't worry. You've seen my stability and you've seen me angry. But honey, please look into your heart and maybe you'll see that I deserved this pain, see? Now we can both agree that you'll never come back to me. But hey a boy can dream. Well, I could dream if I went to sleep. But I wake up and I scream, like I wish I would when you slept next to me.

It'd make me a little happier if the grass was a bit greener, but I can't help where it grows. You may be happy, but that's happiness I will never know. I've tried to end it all. I did it every day, because I just feel like ****. I know you know how it feels, to feel like this. But now I use my back, instead of on my wrist. But that's okay, no one would notice anyway. They'd see them, but would never say a **** thing.
This whole thing. Was just one long confession. I know that when I write this out, I'll just get one question.
"Are you okay?"
Of course I am, what else am I supposed to say?
"No, I hate myself, and I cry everyday."
I am supposed to be the man. I am supposed to be strong. But I don't know how much longer that I can go on. This hate is eating me up inside. This smile I show you, it's all just a lie. I use it to comfort myself and hide what's in my mind.

No more sunshine, no more light. Where have the stars gone that shown so bright. A moon lit path deep into the night. It shows your black soul, torn from plight. A twilight so dim that only sorrow remains. Let go of the cloth that you've blood stained. Because as you lie awake, in the bed that you made. You can't help but think, you've gone insane. You've lost it, and you just start to cry. Your eyes won't shut, and a piece of you dies. You try to cut it out, but that's a dull knife. You try and try, and try as you might, nothing will stop the pain of tonight.

Frozen in time and frozen mind. Stuck in ice with a harbored feeling inside that's harder to hide than a feeling of pride and easier than swallowing all the tears you have cried. Backwards in emotions, feelings and all. A country bound by fear and control you with what they want you to hear. They can hide who's died and don't care who they confine when it's not their life on the line. Bind our chains together; Now what's yours is mine and now my time has come to finish what you begun. Pick up this thought loaded gun and boom. Let's start back a new. A new life given is two lives taken.

Tonight, with stars refusing to shine, all I can think of is at one point they were all mine. What a lovely night to hold the knife and leave the light on. End my life with the words of a love song. Yesterday, with my stars dimmed in the dark. My scars went black, and so did my heart. I punched a wall so I could watch my hands bleed. I know you don't want me, but you're who I need. Tomorrow, when my stars all fade away, I know you'll stand at the head of my grave. I know that you won't cry, and you won't even miss me. Even if I die, you'll get over me quickly