I'm hoping
One of these days
That when I sleep
For hours on end
I won't wake up
Because maybe
My brain will forget
How to breath
While my mind
Drifts to different dreams
And maybe
I won't have to
Face another dreadful
Day

And maybe,
Just maybe,
You'll miss me.

-e.w.

Tonight I
Wrote those notes
That family and friends
Always find
Once their loved one
Has been long
Gone from this
world.
I wrote it
With such ease
And it seemed to come
Naturally
As I started out with
A simple
"Dear Dad"
Or,
"Dear brother"
Or,
"Dear best friend"
And the words
Seemed to slip out
Like I had
Been keeping it hidden
Under my tongue
All this
Time.

-e.w.

It always seems
That I end up
In this same exact
Place

With my eyes
Nearly swollen shut
From the salt water
That seeps from them
Rarely,
But when it does,
It comes like a
Rain storm
Or maybe even a
Tsunami

With a shiny piece
Of metal
In between my index finger
And thumb
Waiting to see
The beautiful red
Liquid that
Drains
From my pale
Wrist

With my body shaking
In fear
That the slices
Will not
Be enough
Damage

Because if you're
Ever looking for me
On any night
At 9:11 p.m.

I'll be right here
In this same exact
Place.

-e.w.

I hold my heart when thunder claps,
I hold it when the courier raps
Upon my door—to feel the beat
It often hides—it drums so sweet
And then subsides to tender taps.

My heart is shy when only maps
Can dare expound what hungry gaps
Consume the ground between our feet.
I hold my heart

And tear the envelope that wraps
The lifeblood printed on your scraps
And feed my veins like summer heat
Is supped by rains. Until we meet
At last again when storms collapse,
I hold my heart.

I'm sorry
I'm sorry* I'm like this
I'm sorry I'm stupid
I'm sorry I'm mean
I'm sorry that when someone
Tries to love me
I push them away
Because once they start to
They always leave

Because right now
I'm not ready
For someone to love
Every inch
Of the parts of me
That I hate
With a burning
Passion

And don't say
"It's okay."
And that you can
Wait for me

Because you may
Be waiting on me
Forever.

Because maybe
I'll never be strong enough
To trust someone
With the beating thing
In my chest
That breaks
Oh-so
Easily.

-e.w

I want
To feel
Love
So bad.
But at the
Same time,
I don't want
To feel like
I finally
Matter to someone
And then get dropped
Because I know
That I will
Shatter, once again
Into a million,
Teeny-tiny
Pieces.

-e.w.