We are architects of universes not yet created.

"Look at the way your feet drag the ground. What an idiot."
The voice is more like a knife but knives are just fragile pieces of metal.

Luckily I am in the mood to break stuff.

If I opened the door to my room and found an empty hole, I'd have to smile because I see something new.
Sadness is walking the same streets and never visiting the bookstore on the corner.
That explains why my eyes are sunken and my cynicism is more than just a bad habit.
The escape hatch is already turning though and light is pouring onto the pavement.

The odd thing is...
that is where I ran into her.
Standing in the middle of the street, holding a paintbrush and humming something soft between those lips.
Sometimes the most beautiful things can't see what they are because demons and unkind words have wrapped them in a fun house mirror.

Hmm...
Luckily I am in the mood to break stuff.
If the sun spoke in poems and sang us all to sleep, it still could not compare to the radiance emitting around your soul.

Come on dear, let's smash some glass and paint something new in this world.
The future is an empty canvas.

I know how you feel.

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you feel depressed but you really can't figure out why.
It feels like it may be one thing but the moment you fix it the feeling returns.
It is like you are running in circles trying to get away from something you can't see.
After a while it gets old and you just want to go to sleep.

Maybe you are picked on at work or at school.
Maybe you don't have friends and you wonder if something is wrong with you.
Maybe you just want the world to see you as something more than a tool to use.

I know how you feel.

And since I do, trust me when I say this.






You will be alright.




Everything will be alright.


I promise.



-Joshua

I looked in the mirror, then shook my head in shame.
I keep pointing broken fingers but I'm the one to blame.
I heard a story yesterday about a man who died.
They say he pulled his heart out through his chest and placed an note inside.

I guess I'm not too different dear because I never see
the man with notes inside his chest will always be
a
shackled
me.

So I pose a a riddle to you fellow writers and readers. The correct answer will guarantee a surprise.

I am the answer and a question that keeps you up at night. If my existence is a reality then it is a mirror you stare into each day. I could be made of magic and I could be random neurons but either way Im made of you and walk around you like a ghost.


What am I?

-Joshua

What holds more power,
the stars in the sky or the coals in a fire?
By all accounts, most stars in the sky have been dead longer than this planet has been alive.
We just see them in passing.
But the coals in this fire are still alive and powerful.

More can still come from this...

When time began after the first second fell into nothingness and the world became more than a whisper, two beings met in the darkness and could not remember where they came from.
One green,
and one yellow.

Green preferred the fresh smell of the earth beneath his feet and the flow of water along his hands. Yellow preferred to give light to green, allowing him to work in peace and sending wind to wipe away any pain of toil.

Green and yellow began to grow fond of one another though and wanted more than just mutual work.
As time passed and the work of green and yellow grew beautiful in strength, their love grew more powerful and tender.

But in all their strength, they could not touch one another...
Their hands grew close but never enough to grasp one another. The light grew dim and green began to fade to brown...


...but...

When the will is strong and love gives birth in weary veins, miraculous things can happen.

In a moment of strength and the need to hold one another, green and yellow exploded in an attempt to reach each other...
and in that instant, blue was created across an endless path between them.

They both smiled and held each other softly, whispering things that mortal ears will never hear... but with the right ears you can hear their messages in the wind and the water..



So it will be until the last second stops.
When darkness is falling you can look to the west and see green meet yellow and embrace into the vast eternity.

The End.


-Joshua

I was going through old facebook messages deleting ones that didn't seem like they had a purpose anymore. I found three threads from dead friends. One died in a car crash, she was seventeen. Last thing she said to me was "I'll see you later Joshy-Poo!" and she gave me a hug. She died the next day. Another friend killed himself. Last thing I talked with him about was the good reference I would give him for a job since I was his manager. He blew his head off a couple months back. Now their ghosts are still on my wall. Messages forever stamped in a way. An inbox that will never be checked.
Other messages I went over were just people or untitled "users" that never messaged back or I the other way around because I didn't want them in my thoughts anymore. But still these words remained... until I deleted them.
We all push forward my dear, but entropy increases. It always increases...

"How long are you willing to run?", I whispered.

I opened my eyes and I was in a golden hall with polished edges and echoes repeating a language I could never understand.
There was a tearing at my heart and I knew men with with cruel intentions were on the prowl for me even though I could not see them.
I took off running and crashed through the windows, shattering the glass and giving the echoes something to listen to that wasn't a dead whisper. Maybe they can hear the trees now.

I kept running, leaping over anything that came in my path. I ran up walls and slid down buildings. I felt stronger and faster than those who chased me. When I jumped, the sky seemed closer than the ground.

I suddenly noticed a woman following me. She kept a steady pace, running and leaping with me.
I had a distinct feeling that she meant no harm because I felt something new. Her smell lingered around me.
I ran onto the freeway, bouncing from car to car, running from the invisible men and keeping one eye on the woman.

Time stopped and I was flying through the air.

The sound of engines died away and I turned around to see the woman. She was beautiful. The look on her face was that of determination and intrigue. I pulled her close brought my face to hers. We stared at each other for what seemed like years and though our lips never touched, our eyes spoke of fire and patience. I saw what made the sun glow against the universe in those eyes.

Time began to come undone once more and I had to let her go to keep running against men with blood in their eyes.
But still she chased on and I knew she would be right behind me all the way to the end.

I know she will be...

"As long as it takes...", she softly said.*


-Joshua

Based on a dream. Hopefully you like it.

I do not want to speak of death
or time's unyielding sting.

I do not want a wasted breath
on such a pointless thing.

Right now I see no greater sin
than making passion dead.



So let me breathe your fragrant skin...
Come, crawl inside my bed.

I woke with a sleepy start to find the devil standing over my bed.
I screamed in alarm and punched that ******* in the head.

He frowned then said he was feeing lonely
with a sad little shrug
So I laughed and gave him a big bear hug.

Then God sent me to hell for being nice

0_0

Be careful dear,
I am just a match looking for kindling.
Hopefully you don't mind getting burned.

This city is an abandoned house.
The paint has been peeling for quite some time and the roof has gone to hell.
I am not even sure if the door is attached to the framework at all
or just hanging there.
The couch is covered in dust and the pantry is filled with generic green beans and cereal boxes.
They must have had a dog. I see chew toys here and there.
The television has a chair sticking out of it.
That isn't a good sign.
How odd.
The bathroom is the cleanest looking room in the house.
The backyard seems lonely. I see a bike that wants a rider and a trampoline missing a spring.
I gotta get out of here. Try a different house.
I look down the road and see nothing but similar vacancies.
******.


It guess that's all in existence now.
Abandoned houses along an abandoned street.


hmmm...




Let's burn them down.

Sigh.
This is hard.


My eyes are getting heavier with each passing day and the boy I see in the mirror
looks almost like a man.
Almost.

I am thankful for all the unkind words.
They made me strong and they made me carefree.
But when the lights go off and piano notes dance around my room the sheets feel lonely and my room feels cold.
When I close my eyes, my fingers are running along your cheek and my lips are brushing your nose.
You're not here.
I don't even know...

who
you
are.
But I hear myself whisper your name.

I know that somewhere in the universe, pieces of our souls flown through lonely tears and childhood wishes are are dancing with one another in the rain.
...kissing after dinner...
..making love after a fight...

I am so madly in love with you and I have no idea who you are.
Whether you even exist at all yet or whether I pass you every day.

I make no promise that I will caress your skin.
I make no promise that I will hear you laugh.
I make no promise that I will ever find you.


But I promise to always keep looking,
so keep your eyes open too...



With all my love whoever you are,

Joshua Haynes

I wonder at times what would happen if I were to suddenly die and someone found this journal, found my words.
I wonder whether they would even read it... would they find it interesting?
I bet they would think, "What an angry and cynical little boy this writer must be."

I guess that what I ay can be a little rough around the edges but that is only because life can be the same way. I look through my own words from years before to now and try to find exactly what I am trying to say. My words bounce around at times building up on each other or breaking down.
Is there a method to my madness or is it just ranting drifting around a smouldering fire?

Maybe when I am older I can look back and someone much wiser and well along in their years will understand and nod their head slowly in compassion for a twisted soul stumbling deaf, dumb, and blind in a world that cannot be understood and a universe that forgets to place flowers on your grave.


-Joshua Haynes

Oh how I wish I was a Jedi Pirate.
Can you imagine how bad *** that would be?
Dressed in awesome sea faring garb
and carrying a lightsaber and blaster on my side.

I know that jedis stand for justice and peace and siths stand for emotion and power.
I can't pick a side.
So I guess I'll stay in the middle.
I'll sail the cosmic seas
and feel the force within the breeze.
With a bottle of *** in my hand
and force lightning at my command.

God that would be ******* awesome.

Is there a difference between whispers and screams?
This bombastic expulsion of soul...

To ears who might listen, or eternal silence.
hearts and minds are far from control.

I am drunk and my mind is racing.

Anyone wish to talk tonight and spread a word?

If you close your eyes in a loud night the the entire universe is open to however you wish to interpret. Our perception of this fragment is a blueprint or a painting in progress of ourselves; whichever your prefer it to be.
I opened my eyes in the night and looked out across the barren trees. Winter always seems like a sad and lonely coma for nature when green rarely exists and grey is the king on a silent throne.
The trees have fingers though and you can see them reaching for the heavens when the leaves have fallen into nothing.  They reach towards the sky in longing and patience and the stars are easier to see. The fading light from the long dead in the sky stretch out across time and space to try and reach the momentarily dead hands of earth and hold on tight.
It was beautiful and the drums behind my eyes pounded in tune with the orchestra of strings on the wind.

I am a child of the north and south.
I am a son of the east and west.
I am a ghost of the sky and sea
A mirrored reflection of sun and moon.
I am dirt and I am water.
I am nothing and I am everything.

A comet fell last night

and I saw the universe inside a flower...

the light and darkness full of power...

then God came and said a few words.

and I was left shaking on the floor.

I must say that these last couple months have been interesting since I found this site.
It has given my an inspiration to let more of my words out and to search for all of your words.
So far I am amazed.
We won't save the world but at least we can show how similar and different, light and dark we are.
We are the soul of this age and I don't want a single person here to foget that.

Keep up bearing your souls.
We all have something to say.

And as always I will bear my soul to you as well butl leave it up to the viewer what might be seen.

Your lover, brother, and other,

Joshua Haynes

You'll find me where the sand meets the grass.
Where the forest and the trees meet the beaches and the seas.
The mountains high and mighty and the ocean far and fierce.
One foot in sand,
gently warm and mysterious.
One foot in grass,
cool and calmly curious.
I'll wait for you there until the sun and sky collide.
When the whispers of our universe softly lay us down to sleep
and our souls fly side by side...
Hurry please because we do not have long.
You'll find me where the sand meets the grass.

Anni fa, ti ** scritto una poesia d'amore.
Occhi nebbiosa e luminoso, mi hai sorriso.
Ma negli abissi del profondo
la mia coscienza mi ha urlato.
Sa che abbiate mai svanire proprio come il resto
perché sono un casino maledetto dio.

There once was a young man named Feste, and he was not a very good young man.
He was a thief, and a sneaky one at that. He would go to all of the stores in the market and steal anything that he pleased.
He loved to steal from the baker and the butcher especially.
He would go to his hiding place in the forest after his deviousness and eat away his stolen treasures, brooding on what a “clever little boy” he was.
The baker and the butcher knew though. They noticed him coming in most days and leaving in quite a hurry. They could not actually catch him in the act, but they knew beyond a doubt what he was doing. They were having drinks together one night though when they devised a clever scheme to stop him from stealing ever again. The butcher carved up a juicy ham, and the baker baked up a delicious pie, but they added a little something extra to it…

The butcher made sure to quite a bit of alcohol into the ham, and the baker did the same with his pie. They both set their two traps in the store, right when the spoiled thief Feste came strolling into the market with his eyes gleaming.
The baker watched him walk into his shop,the pie disappeared.
The butcher watched him walk into his shop, the ham disappeared.
They both smiled and went about their work.
Feste rushed to his hiding place and devoured his stolen goodies so fast that he didn’t even realize how peculiar it seemed to taste...
Not long after, he started to feel strange. Numb and stupid. He ran towards the village, acting a buffoon. The villagers stared and laughed at Feste acting so odd. His mother found him though and brought down the fury.

“Feste! Why are you acting like a **** fool?" She demanded.
He threw out a few words in a drunken stupor and swayed in place.
"Wait.. have you been drinking!?” She screamed.

“Noe maum! Allll Ie had todae is pie and haam!” He stammered in a drunken sway.

“And where exactly did you get those!?” She inquired.

Feste had a look of terror on his face and grew silent.
He was found out to be the no good thief and was punished severely, because his mother thought he stole the alcohol as well as the pie and ham, and he couldn’t prove otherwise.
Feste never stole again and he even apologized to the butcher and baker, though they still do have a laugh now and then…

The End

Can you please save me?
I am drowning.
I am drowning in the land of the free and home of the...
(wait, what was that last part again?)
We had so much potential...
We saved the world.
We cared for it gently.
Now that has been shoved to the side.
I am drowning in this dystopian plutocracy.
I can't breathe over the advertisements.
My lungs are filled with empty words.



I sink into the static...

I ate a taco the other day and smiled because I couldn't think of what side of the fence to stand on in war and love and self defense.





And I am okay with that.

So I was sitting at home watching a movie when nature called me and told me that it was time to drain my bladder. She is such a sweet lady. So I do my business and I flush the toilet. but oh no! It wouldn’t stop running! If it keeps running like that, it will make the water bill go up which would cause our family grief beyond anything!

I was taken aback and scared at this atrocity, making me realize that the toilet demon has come again to make us pay for using his burial site for plumbing. I gathered all of the courage that I could muster and I screamed, “I will save this house from the toilet demon!”

I took the lid off of back and could hear the demon laughing at me as he kept the water running, I notice that the water would stop if I kept a piece held up. But alas! It wouldn’t stay up! I thought deeply on what to do. There were no rubber bands and tape wouldn’t hold. But string would! So I rushed to the armory, otherwise known as the pantry, and I found some string, and some electric tape as well! I gathered my tools and with a battle cry, I rushed back to the bathroom. I could have swore that I heard the yells of other men, and the sounds of horses plowing through the ground, while the music from the film 300 played out loud.

I rushed into the bathroom and lifted my tools! Then the water stopped and the toilet had finished its cycle and all was silent and still. I cursed, dropped everything, and went back to sit down and watch my movie, thinking that I let the plumbing get a little out of hand.

The End

I shot an arrow in the air
but then I was filled with despair
because it fell without a care
back to my feet; so unfair.

But I did not whine, I did not cry
I grabbed it again and let it fly.
and now its soul will never die
flying past the clouds and into the sky.

I am not alone
and neither are
you.
Feeling sad or angry?
Feeling lost.
This is for you.



(Tackles and hugs)

Now smile please

:D

Here us and old one from years ago. It is flawed but enjoy.



A young lad abroad, was searching for truth
for what happens whenever we die.

A priest told him this, a monk told him that.
which one was fact and which one was lie?

The young lad was perplexed and filled up with grief.
He continued to search and to learn.

But the more that he read and the more he was told,
the more fear built up that he'd burn.

The young lad fell to his knees on the side of the road
and begged to be shown what was real.

"There are so many answers, and all of them different!
Oh, how am I supposed to feel?!"

Just then an old man, with a smile on his face,
asked him what caused so much grief.

The young lad said, through torrential tears,
"Without answers I'll never be strong."

"Does heaven exist? Will I go to hell?
Will all that I know simply end?

There are so many roads, which one should I take?
Do you know the answer, my friend?"

The old man sighed and said through a grin,
"There's a question more grand than the latter."

He grabbed the young lad, and looked deep in his eyes.
"The question is why does that matter?"

You told me that I would never be abandoned.

Tell that to the boy I left behind.

Because he never knew what friendship was until God appeared in the form of harsh words.

Now he doesn't know what to say.