When I see the roaches crawling,
the disgust can be hidden by fascination and understanding.
Besides,
they clean themselves after touching our skin.

I have been through things many have not and yet I still feel like nothing more than a boy walking alone down a hallway filled with people who know exactly what they want.
I think that this hallway is not meant for me and yet all the doors lead to classrooms that teach lessons proven wrong long ago.

"Come with me and I will show you something more than this, just be careful where you tread because the fire I hold does not give off much light."

I am not a broken boy by any means and I love with all of my heart.
If only I knew in which direction to send my love.
I am ******* and I want to ****.
I think this clouds my judgement and the walls around me turn into film that plays an image not yet created.


I am so confused when the world is going east when I am going west.

If you think I have forgotten you, there is a grave mistake...

A lesson I have learned is I'm a burden when I burn.
The ones I hurt stay close inside and I become a sin to hide.

Please don't run away because my bones are weary and I couldn't begin to chase.
Let me whisper something secret and that smile will pour across your face.


I hide for now, but I'm still me...
I promise.

I wake up and my head is spinning.
It feels as if I was just falling and had just landed on my bed.
Did I?
I am not sure.

I stand up and look around my room.

This does look like my room. It smells like my room and sounds like my room. But it does not feel like my room. I look over at the mirror and there is a lovely ocean in the distance. That doesn’t seem normal but I could be mistaken. I will come back to that later.

I walk around my room and the floor feels like I am standing in freshly tilled earth. I smell my room though and smell no earth. I walk over to my computer and I touch it. It melts. That is not good. I have a project due soon and all of my notes are on it. I am not pleased. The melted remnants fall to the floor and reassemble. I smile. Perhaps I should not touch anything for a while.

I call out to see if anyone is around and my voice echoes for what seems like hours. I can see the sound waves bouncing around the room. They are golden and lovely. I hear voices and look over at the poster hanging on the wall. It is having a conversation with the painting next to it. I sit down and listen for a while. I giggle at them and they notice I am listening. They give me a rude look and I apologize.

I stand up and walk over to the window. The trees outside are on fire. It is beautiful. They do not seem to be dying though. In fact, they seem to be blooming in the flame. It starts to rain though and the trees begin to fade. This makes me sad. I sit on the bed and I pick up a book lying on the floor. I am glad that it does not melt. I flip through the book and I hear words whispering to me. I don’t want them to stop. They fascinate me. I can tell they have something important to say and it seems as if no one has listened for a long time. I close my eyes for a moment and I hum a tune that it is stuck in the back of my mind. I hear piano keys.

I open my eyes and the room is completely empty and it seems as if it has aged sixty years. The walls look sad. The mirror is still hanging there though and the ocean looks even lovelier in the decaying structure around me. I walk over to the mirror and I touch it.

The room is no more and I am standing on a platform with the sea all around me. The sky is a deep violet and it seems as if the sun has just fallen out of view. Lightening is flashing but it is not frightening. It is calming. I look down and notice that I am standing on a compass. It is spinning rapidly and it makes my head hurt. It finally comes to a halt at what must be north and I feel as if I had not moved at all. I hear a faint sound and I turn around.

There is a beautiful horse standing there. I walk up to it and it brushes my face with its own. I climb on its back and it turns west. I hear a voice whisper to go west. I urge the horse forward. It takes off running and we jump on the edge. We fall. The water gets closer and closer and then disappears.

We are falling into a void of color and silence. We fall for a long time. I close my eyes and hear a splash. I sit up and I am on a beach. Explosions are happening all around me. It is dark but I hear the sound of gunfire and shouting all around me. There is a war going on and I am soaking wet and hazy.

I look up and the horse is staring at me from the edge of the beach. It turns into a dog and runs into the forest. I regain composure quickly and give chase. It is fast but so am I. Bullets are flying around me and fire is claiming lives in the darkness. I keep chasing the dog. We run for a long time.

It eventually stops in a clearing and I stop as well. A sacred feeling comes over me. The dog looks at me and its eyes are piercing. I feel ashamed.

It is quiet here. I hear no explosions and the shouts have died out long ago. It feels very peaceful and yet the shame remains. I hang my head and the sound of my heartbeat rings in my ears. I look up and the dog is gone. The sound of my heartbeat fades and I am alone.

It begins to snow and I notice that I am naked. I must have been the whole time. The clearing fills with snow and yet I do not feel cold. The trees begin to fall away in the snow and I am left with nothing but dazzling white. It is very beautiful.







I close my eyes and whisper three words.







I wake up and my head is spinning. It feels as if I was just falling and had just landed on my bed.

I can't perceive a single shadow that can call itself a man,
when all they see that's made of gold appears to me as grains of sand.

Open your eyes
and focus your ears.

Steel all your senses
and cancel your fears.

The sea is calling
so anchors away.

Shut out the darkness
and embrace the day.

The wind is whispering
throughout the blue,

so unfurl the sails
oh captain and crew...

Hoist the colors, all weakness is shed.
Now bring the horizon and quit
when you're dead.

The last time I noticed I was alone,
the jester yawned beside the throne.


Then wisdom drained in pouring rain, the kind that causes peculiar pain.
I closed my eyes and dreamed a dream
that gravity had changed its mind
and threw the ones who strive to fly into the freedom of the sky.

But...
those who chained themselves to gods,
some made of words and gold,
were fastened closely to the ground by pride and all they chose to hold.
Then all the thoughts and actions built around my shadow like a tomb,
began to sing a humble song, like voices from a patient womb.

So here I'll stand and wait in wonder as the voices still persist,
until the time will come when I can understand how to exist .

A bird dropped down out of the sky and landed in my head, and though I listened as it sung, I couldn't fathom what it said.
I'm sure it spoke of hungry fiends
wishful things
and childish schemes.
But deep within those singing eyes were vast and universal dreams.

Then he flew away in music and I just listened to the silence.


**Newly established Sailor Joshua Haynes here by the way. It is good to be back

Dear poets,

I am leaving for bootcamp in three days.
I will come back as a sailor and I will still come back as a writer.

I wanted to say that I have adored every minute I have ever spent on this website.
So many words.
So many souls...

I want whoever reads this to remember something while I am gone.
You're beautiful.
You're loved.
And you're ******* awesome.

I will have someone post the address where I am and if anyone hear would like to send me something, it would be appreciated.

Stay you.