There is a big difference,
the way,
my heart was broken,
to the way,
a heart would usually break.
This is not a crack,
or your average fissured.
An explanation,
of how did this start,
would be in demand,
if ever eyes,
lay upon,
my awful looking heart.
It has a devastation to live with,
my heart is split,
with countless amount of openings,
that I feel,
every single day,
when I first open my eyes,
every single night,
before the last shut,
of my eyes.
The person responsible,
cleaved it,
with all her rights.
My heart is beating,
only because of the Lords grace,
among me.
Among the many,
shattered parts of my heart,
lies a big,
sharp piece,
This piece has a certain name on it,
It's the piece the doctor says,
is irreplaceable,
Untouchable,
and will eventually,
**** me.
The doctor told me,
only once,
everyday when I wake up,
To remember,
that the piece,
is half an inch,
deeper,
than it was yesterday.
Inside,
my poor little heart,
the tiny,
edgy bits,
of my demolished heart,
cover the space,
surgeons need,
to remove,
the big sharp piece.
My heart,
is not a heart anymore,
but a beating muscle,
that looks like,
a dried up anthurium,
ready to fall.
It has the bottom opening,
of an old fashioned bleeding heart,
but no color.
The heart,
I carry with me,
is very weak,
and unstable,
like water.
It has a day,
where it try's,
it's very best,
to pace the torture,
I put it through,
but,
the majority of days,
it cannot bare
and stops,
to scare me.

®*K.S

Dear Father,

Bless her life with every wish her pretty little heart desires,
Give her the best in this lifetime Lord,
I hope You bless her with a husband that has an amount of love,
only mothers carry for their child,
May her tears be bottled up and sent up to heaven,
for double the blessings,
For if she ever is in fear Lord let me feel it,
I will pray and ask that You,
Father,
send angles to protect her,
and make her fearless,
May her walk through life be full of light and never derail into darkness,
May my prayers for her kids and their kids be answered for the blessing,
of her next generation,
May her kisses be cherished and hugs be adored,
Lord,
From deep inside my heart,
I plead that every surprise she receives will be wealthy,
and make her as happy as can be,
Though You have forbid me from ever tasting her flesh again,
I hope You,
O' Lord,
ravish her day by day,
I will be the loudest in Heaven when she arrives Christ,
For her spirit deserves cheers and the loudest round of applause that can exist,
May she never be alone,
but always happy and in companion with the Holy Spirit,  
God,
you know,
If I reminisce two hundred times a day about what we once had,
two hundred times I will bless her soul,
Let her have a life with no worries Father,
You have made her fortunate by much,
She is irreplaceable here on Earth,
An exclusive original sent from You above,
Lord,
this is from deep in my gloom and melancholy heart,
because every single day,
I remember the blessing afternoon we met,
It was a pleasure meeting her Father,
Bless her,
it was a gift,
It was more than what I could have ever asked for Father,
because what I ask for,
is diminutive next to Her.

Amen.

®*K.S

This pain is so deep,
I love you but
you don't love me.
This agony I feel to leave you
behind
is so strong,
my mind can't bare
this feeling.
I love you so much
but
you do not love me.
I feel as if I don't leave you
I'm never going to be happy,
and yet this pain only grows stronger.
Love I cannot stop loving you
although, you cannot love me.
I've left you far behind and threw you deep
down into the sea,
but only in my mind,
because in my heart
your as animated as can be.
I cannot believe I have loved you for so long,
but you seem to never have loved me.
Alcohol kills
my liver,
as I drink
in a fine glass cup
that has sharp edges,
my lips begin to bleed.
I have loved you for so long now,
but you never once loved me.
At times I want to shred
the glass into bits,
put it to boil with rice,
take a few bites and call it
'The End'.
For I do not want to live,
loving you
knowing you
don't love me.
I never had you because
I once let you go,
yet your return I await.
I still do not have you today.
I really only loved you
Love
but it is just so sad that you
really never loved me.
Goodbye you said to me,
and goodbye I said to my life,
goodbye
love.
I will always and forever love you.
But must I remember,
You cannot love me.

®*K.S