The art of eye contact

You know what I’m talking about

You know what both of us want

I smile at the look of you

I smile knowing the idea of you

I know what I do to you

And just look then smile

While I catch your eyes

your body weakens

Along mine

Just by the eye contact across the room

Knowing I’ll have you soon.

Just found out he’s proposing on Sunday

What a surprise

Does he really see the rest of his life with me?

Do I see it?

I don’t know what to feel

But I know this is life

You make my family happy

Your kind to me

Do anything to make sure I’m happy

But am I really happy?

Anyway this is life

And once again I’m going with the flow.

I love observers

Those eyes

When they are looking

Watching

This filthy world

And it’s small beauty of it.

What hit most

When two observers meet

Eyes connect

Now they watch each other moves

With electricity feeling up in their body.

Knowing they both are enjoying each other company

But won’t say a word.

Their eyes did the talking.

At the laundry

6:26 pm

And all im thinking about is laying up in my bed

Just writing

Writing

And writing

With a good cup of coffee

In this drowny New York weather.

This Wednesday afternoon

Sitting on the couch

Drinking coffee

Went to check up on you like usually

When you can’t forget someone

I see your writing again

I see you have posted those beautiful words again

I smiled

Even if we have no more communication

When I see you post those words again that’s enough to let me know how your doing

Keep writing

I know that’s your peace

Poetry will always be our language.

I’m scared

I’m scared I won’t make it

I’m scared of failing

I’m scared no one will be proud of me

Thoughts repeat the words

Building up my anxiety

Hey you

Stop

What are you doing to yourself?

A light spoke in the darkness of my mind

I know your scared, we all are but why did you stop?

WHY ARE YOU LETTING IT STOP YOU?

KEEP GOING

those are just words that will always come of any success

But the difference is you don’t let it control you!

Don’t let it win

You make it with those thoughts and smile

Then look back and thank those words for helping you make it to the top.

Knowing you took control.

This Friday night

While everyone getting ready for Halloween

I am just sitting here at 2:14 am

Just reading

While everyone posting on social media

About their upcoming parties

I’m just sitting here reading

While you guys blowing up my phone

Telling me to come out enjoy the wild side

I’ll look at my phone smile then put it down

And do what always makes me happy

Reading.

Oh also kids don’t believe all innocent people

Don’t have a wild side.

We don’t see each other anymore

We don’t contact each other anymore

We know our location but never come visit

So close yet so far

The only thing keeping us close is

Poetry

Poetry is our language

when I see you post on social media

People might not understand but I read and I know

The way we use to look at each other

We both knew.

Thank you for being a dangerously beautiful story that was part of my life.

I had fun.

I miss you.
That’s all

Poetry comes to mind when I think of you

You inspire my poems that I barely call poems.

I miss your eye contact when we first connected ours eyes

It’s been months since I seen you

Wondering how you are

Are you still near the river side

Would we meet again even tho it’s impossible

End of the day I don’t tell myself to say goodbye to you.

I’ll see you again one day for now

have your fun

Until our eyes meet again I’ll just smile and continue walking the street of New York.

Leave me alone.

I can’t sleep

I need sleep

I feel overwhelmed

Please just leave and let me be.

Why am I attracted to you?

What is it about you?

Is it your soft light brown skin?

Is it that smile that show those beautiful white teeth?

Or is it your body?

Nah not that

What attracted me was the mind

How your mind works

It made me want more

More of knowing how you think

How you think of me

Then you speak and it’s poetry

Our language

Our eyes stay in contact

We both know what we want

But we let poetry say it for us.

Guess it just knows how to turn us on more

Leaving us wanting more.

You tell me you want to love me

You tell me you want to give me the world

You tell me you want to make me feel special

But honey

How do you know if I want to do the same?

What ***** about life is living off fear
What ***** about life is always being depressed with people up your *** telling you “you’ll be fine”
When they don’t know what going on in that ****** up head of yours.
Yes, life can be wonderful but for me it’s temporary.
I’m a depressed ****.
No words can describe it
I just know it’s in me
Being sad and moving on with life.

Went to a party today
Took a few snaps
Had a great time
Got home late
2 am getting ready for bed
Receive a text on snap from a friend who ask me if I can remove one of my snaps I took of her because “I look ugly and feel insecure”
Now...
Post what the hell you want
Feel confident
Who gives a flying **** about how people will view you.
Don’t get me wrong everyone gets insecure but I rather people work with it then letting it control how you feel and your life.
Especially when half of the time your insecurities aren’t as bad as you see them.
They don’t even matter.
I told her
“If your really feeling down about yourself and worried how people will view you because your insecure then you got a long life your about to live”
Stop letting insecurities control you
Either change it
Or
Work with it
But don’t ******* sit there and keep complaining.
You’re all beautiful in your own ******* way.

Every night
At exactly 3:14 am
I check
I check all over
I check to see your writing
I check to make sure your still writing
I move on with my life but will always check up on you without knowing it
Hope all is well.
And remember
Keep writing.
I’m one of many people that look forward to reading that talent of yours.
Keep writing.

I’m lost sometimes

Like everyone else

I’m happy sometimes

Like everyone else

I’m sad sometimes

Like everyone else

Feel alone sometimes

Like everyone else.

Even tho we go through all these emotions in our lives

We must remember we are just like everyone else in this place we call a planet.

You are never alone.

It’s crazy isn’t it?

How even when I get married

I’ll somehow still be thinking of you

And smile.

The funny, happy, sad, angry, ****** , and lovely

Moments we had together.

Those memories are long gone

However the touch of you still tingles me and being chills down my spine till this day

Our memories will always be my favorite chapters in my life.

I’ll forever reread.

Some would say I have no feelings
Some would say I do
I would say I have empathy but not fully.
I’m sorry for hurting you
But I’m not sorry for moving on with my life.
You can sit there and watch that screen all night
To see if I think about us at any moment during my day.
But I don’t
The thing about me is I’ll keep going on to the next part of my life
Your a memory in my life now that I have yet to write about in my book.
Of course I pause and smile at the thought of us but I turn back to reality and remember who I am.
It was best for you to stay away from me.
Your feelings will get caught in the mix
I don’t have 100% empathy
You know we both knew that.