You always said that you
Wanted to lift me up
I always said that I
Would never let you down

Look at where we are now

i had a sweeter soul
when you weren't my chemical
and
i had a softer touch
when you weren't in my head so much
and
i had a cleaner conscience
when you weren't my constants
and
i wasn't who you were thinking of
when you were thinking love
and
now you apologize
sorrowful words
coated thick in
virulent lies

I love to read
Yet I consider myself
Illiterate
When I try to read
The emotions in your
Face

I used to think that I
Had it all
Now I think that I
Threw it away

I look at what I had
It was so close to perfection
Now I look around
There's so much missing

Been so caught up
Trying to be more
Than my past
Haven't even given hope
Or leaving chances
For my future

I love everything
About not having social media
I worry less
Don't waste my time
Yet
The biggest drawback
Is I can't rub in your face
How happy I am
With someone else

Heartbreak
Fueling my hands
With the richest
Form of
Getting lost
I am nothing
But the words
That I write
And now
Reality has
Blended
My life
Into dreams
Altering them
Into nightmares
I am drowning
In drink
Silence
And subtleties
The unsaid
Can’t cry
Empty eyes
And
Photographed smiles.

Daydreaming
About saying hello again
And never saying goodbye

Daydreaming
About seeing you smile
And it never fading away

Daydreaming
About playing in the stars
And never coming back down

in this lifetime
i am yours
in another lifetime
someone else's
i am aware
of the others
if only faintly
and i hate to speak
for the others
but this one with you
by far the best

To feign ignorance
That the world
Just operates how
It does
When the signs
Are clearly there
For some
Its coincidence
For others
Its fate
For me
Its numbers
Such as 818

To suffer after pain
Is to simply experience
Pain in suffering
I constantly bring myself
To think about everything.

What hurts me
has hurt me
will hurt me

A caterpillar
Is at its most
Dysfunctional
Right before
It becomes a
Butterfly

Intertwined
Like two plants
That shouldn't
But as long
As the gardener
Doesn't care
I'll hold you
Till we both
Turn to rot

I misprise who is't I am
I misprise who is't I am not
I seeketh changeth
I don't seeth how it's probable
Viewing as I'm the same p'rson

I am who is't I am I supposeth
I am the tears yond I caused
To hie down thy visage
I am the blood yond I've spilled
Through callous action
I am the weight of mine own sins
And I knoweth
I am running out of tears myself
I am running out of blood to keepeth Pouring into lifeless conditions
And I'm getting awfully heavy

Forgetting what once wast
And hating what forsooth is
I prayeth I am not the villian
But if I am to beest
I'll rememb'r the chapters yond
Madeth me

I can't find my worth
Don't know who I am
No idea on where to go
Or what to change
I don't even recognize
Who I once was
But it's clear
That's who I'll always be.

tunnel vision
imperfect decision
misty eyes
nauseating lies
cigarette ashes
tranquil fracas

I wanted to be
Somebody else's
Before
I wanted to be
Yours

So don't let me
Slip through your grasp

Wanting to drown in your love
And float in your dreams
Wanting to die in your arms
And live in your thoughts
Wanting to get lost in your eyes
And be found in your heart
Wanting to be helpless to your touch
And thrive in your grasp

you make me love so much more
than just you
im in love with the morning light
in love with getting better
in love with the high
that i won't live down
in love with this love

I wear goofy
Cause sad isn't in style
And I may not be a comedian
But I'm worth your while
I have memorized
Too many dad jokes
To not make you smile
And when the fun is over
I'll go back to the gloom
Till I can be the idiot
Who lights up a room

Its the way
You praise me
Call me yours
Break me down
In the best way
You make me weak
And feel strong
So throw me
And hold me
Call me
Well you know

I tried to
show me
Why I
loathe me
I sit in
the dark
Cause I can't
stand me
Doesn't matter if
I say
I'm sorry
to myself
There's no
forgiving me
I know that
the thing
That disgusts me
is me

"I'm trying to be like you."
I didn't know
How to respond
So the first thing
That flew out of
My stupid mouth was
"You've got a long way to fall."

you came in through a leak
filled me drip by drip
everybody is judgemental
if you're full of yourself
but im full of someone else

My day
Before I get time
With you
Is anticipation
And the night
After you are gone
Is recollection

Pull me closer
Push me farther
Lift me up
Let me down
Tell me the truth
Let me live in our lies

One of nine Muses
"Beautiful voice"
The patron
Of poetry
And heroic song
Homer's inspiration
Never forget who you are

I live by the pen
And die by my words
I can't figure out
Which fate is worse
To be ******
By what you have read
Or to be slaughtered
By what I have said

You and I tried
We hate ourselves
And love each other
Not really.

You and I lied
We tell each other the truth
And wouldn't hurt another
Not really.

You and I
Not really.

Cigarettes in the dark
Sharp inhales and muted thoughts
Extensive conversations
Soft exhales and harsh words

It's the way
You walk by me
Or the way
You talk to me
Or the way
You look at me
And the thing killing me
Is I worry you don't
Actually see me

To understand fate:
That what will be, was.
What has been, is.
And what you make of it, will.