Shaking like a leaf In a bitter wind Trying to just hold on To what's holding me down Knowing if I can't I'll float to a place I don't know And just skitter around
Can I be honest now? Not like you care anyways Have I made you proud? Had to sell my soul Just to make it out I lived in your hell Changed and yet I still drink From the poisoned well
This soul has found No rest These eyes have seen Horrors beyond belief These hands are covered In blood that is not theirs These legs won't hold For much longer Please be there I'm counting on you.
I can't feel a thing I hope you're wishing It was still your hands Wrapped around my throat I'm so ******* numb I hope you're wishing It was still your body Intertwined with mine
Lost in your eyes Akin to standing In a field of wheat The curves in your face Reminds me of something like Venus de Milo I focus so desperately On things like that And everytime I reminisce I get lost just to Lose a little bit more
To me You were an ideation A daydream Then you became reality A blissful presence Then you became a story One I hate to tell And now You pride yourself On thinking you're even a memory
This feeling Like I'm defective That you wanted me When I was of use And now That I'm showing Signs of wear I'm placed back in my box Taken back to the store Just to repeat This hopeless cycle
I write sometimes And feel like My own audience I read And re-read Until I finish Then I look at my words And sometimes I throw roses And sometimes I throw tomatoes
Gave my breath To what I had left In the dark with a cigarette An empty bed And just one barrette I hope you get some rest Gave you my best I know I won't forget Our melancholic duet
I want to change I swear I do But it can't Be a condition Set on a timeline Cause I thought You fell in love with me For who I am Not knowing who I'd become
I wear goofy Cause sad isn't in style And I may not be a comedian But I'm worth your while I have memorized Too many dad jokes To not make you smile And when the fun is over I'll go back to the gloom Till I can be the idiot Who lights up a room
I keep trying To convince myself That I don't care Then I catch myself Thinking about The fact that you Are not holding my hand Not laughing at my jokes Not enjoying my flowers So I'll keep trying To convince myself That I don't care
Sitting in the corners Of restaurants Looking over my back In grocery stores Leaving my door cracked In my bedroom Expecting you to appear And wound me again
I doth not knoweth What m're I couldst sayeth To changeth our loveth Thy tears Mine own blood We has't both poured M're than enow To filleth cups ov'r Thy eyes Mine own lips Has't spoken enow To filleth books ov'r
Trying to figure out Who I am Is like Trying to combine Bits and pieces Of shredded papers Sound bites that Don't go together Videos that Don't look like me Or at least Who I thought I was?
I get asked questions That I Have already tortured myself with For years I get defensive While being offered guidance I get fueled by false hope That someday I'll have the wherewithal To wake up Look myself in the mirror And be okay with what I see But for now Therapy blows chunks.