I’m trapped in this house
Day in day out
All I see are the same four walls
The same two people
Every ******* day

Nothing to fill my time 5 days a week
The other two I spend talking to the same people
Hoping we have something new to say
But we never do

I fill my time with frustrating lines of code
Never doing what I say
Because of one misplaced semicolon
Slowly going insane
Insaner

Everyday the once large house grows smaller
As I get the diploma
Turn 18
And I can’t leave
I can’t do ****

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Give me something— anything— other to do
I need something
please

How long will we all be separated
Connected only by screens and internet that gets ******* daily
How long until we can go outside
And talk to each other like normal people
How long until I can feel the grass beneath my feet
Walking through the park
How long will we not be able to see each other’s unobstructed faces
Without fear of dying
How long until we can leave?

Today was the first time in 9 years
I didn’t think about school
Count down on my fingers how long until I had to go back
Today was the first day I wished I could
Just to say a proper goodbye

We got robbed of many things this year
Celebrations of milestones
Excitedly telling friends and teachers “I GOT IN!” or “I GOT THE SCHOLARSHIP!”
Walking through the halls as our classmates cheered us on
Walking across the stage as hundreds congratulated you at the same time
The final moment when you could say goodbye to all the people you know you’ll never see again

Today was the first time I wished I hadn’t rushed off everyday
Who would have thought I’d miss the musty halls
The chatter of students in the halls during tests
The constant ringing of fire alarms
And the safe feeling of a community behind you

Today was the first time I looked at my diploma
And thought about how much I would give
For just one day more with all of them
People come and go, I know
But these people were more than classmates
We were a family

Today was the first time
But it won’t be the last

Today’s the day
I move the tassel left
I get the paper in my hand saying it’s over
Today’s the day we wait for 13 years to see
Every one is excited, but I feel empty
Today’s the day
I leave every I knew behind
The schedule I dreaded following is now over
And I can only wonder
What now?
Today’s the day
I made jokes about how happy I would be today
Yet sadness takes over as I realize
I may never see these classmates—these friends— again
Today’s the day
And I want to go back

Same routine everyday
1) see the world try to free itself from tyranny
2) scroll through countless apps
3) actually get out of bed at 12:00
4) watch Netflix while playing Scrabble
5) eat
6) play video games
7) eat
8) water/ mow lawn and garden
9) scroll through social media until 3 AM
10) sleep and repeat

We live in a world where people are killed
Based on the color of their skin
We live in a world where people live on the streets
Because they were evicted for no reason
We live in a world where people can’t report crimes
Without fear of being deported
We live in a world where people are afraid to speak
Because they fear that they’ll be told their lying
We live in a world where people would rather commit suicide
Than admit that they’re attracted to the same gender
Or because they don’t feel right in their body
We live in a world where someone seeking a better life
Is detained because someone thought they should be

The world is broken
We have to fight to fix it

Today I saw friends I haven’t seen in months
Getting our caps and gowns
A day long awaited
But now that it’s here I wish I could go back

Today we spent hours breaking “quarantine”
I talked to people I barely know
And we hugged as we realized that it would be the last chance
We walked up through the blooming roses
Sat at a gazebo and you smoked
I thought it was intoxicating enough just to see you

Today may be the last time we see each other
And today is the memory I wanted
One where cliques and bad relationships didn’t get in the way of us spending time together
Class of 2020 relaxing in the shade
Sun beating down on the trees around the park

We rejoiced that we were done
We were graduates
We were family

We celebrated all the fire alarms
The teachers
The students
The dumb classes we were forced to take
We celebrated it all

We may not have had a ceremony
But we could still celebrate together

JHS Class of 2020
While we may not have loved every moment
Every moment made us
And for that I thank you