I can’t wait

All I want in life
Is for my friends to be successful
I want them to be able to come to me in 20 years
I want them happy, healthy, doing things on their own terms
And that one friend who doesn’t
I want them to be able to say to me one day
“I need help”
Because I don’t care about myself anymore
I only care that the people I love are doing perfect

I want a moment
Where I can say to someone
— anyone who deserves it
“Of all the people, in all the gin joints in all the world... and they walk into mine”
Because that’s setup for an amazing story

I want to destroy everything from our relationship
But I can’t
There’s nothing to destroy
The only thing I have are the rings sitting behind my painting
And a series of texts from when we went to the park together
I still remember
We went to **** Creek
Named for the taste of **** in the river
I still haven’t gone back
Because I know I’ll run into the two of you
And I can’t deal with that right now
It’s been two months
I’m trying to forget you
And as tears stream down my face I wish I had something
Anything
To destroy
But I can’t, because there’s nothing to destroy

What happens
When your go to venterater
Needs to be venterated?
Who do they talk to
When all they know
Is how to listen?
Who can talk?

I’m sad
Just sitting here alone on my bed
No rhyme or reason
It’s just my time
My time to mourn a total stranger
I don’t know who they are
Why they died
If they had anyone or anything
Hell, I don’t even know where they were
All I know is that they needed another person
To mourn