I had to say my goodbyes
It's the only way to heal
Now my heart and soul cries
Yet I can't force myself to feel

Tears hide behind my eyes
I choke back my wrath
I put on a happy guise
While my thoughts are on a warpath

I can't separate truth from lies
Or feel any warmth from my past
Another part of me dies
It drowns in the sea so vast

I won't become what I despise
Bitter - Holding back the emotions
Even if it brings me to my demise
I'd rather drown in sorrows oceans

Another year gone time flies
Another heart is broken
Yet the sun will rise
Like a breathless whisper spoken

My thoughts ****** toward azure skies
Hoping someone hears my call
Listening for an answer - the wind implies
That my fear will be my downfall

Fear grips my throat
It closes -Face to face with anxiety
I start to sputter and choke
As it whispers - you can't escape reality

It holds me down
Beneath the water
I begin to drown
My lungs begin to falter

I close my eyes tight
Preparing for the end
I look around for the light
This prayer I send

"Release me from this fate
let me let go of the fear
Scrub from my mind the hate
Let me feel that you are here"

A hand reaches into the waves
That I am caught up under
A gentle face smiles - My soul is saved
He pulls me through the rolling thunder

He quiets the storm within me
He guides me through the pain
He shines on my heart His mercy
With outstretched hand He stops the rain

A quiet soul reaching out
begging to be heard
Falling through all the doubt
Like a wounded bird

Riding the downward spiral
into the convoluted mess
Pain that seems to be viral
That causes her to regress

Holding on for dear life
to the end of her rope
The thoughts sharp as a knife
Slices through her hope

As it lays there bleeding
burning down to embers
It seems she is receding
At that moment she remembers

She takes another ragged breath
And rises from the ashes
She musters all the strength she has left
All her memories come back in flashes

The reason she fights until her dying day
It renews in her the ability to press on
It keeps the darkness at bay
Until the coming dawn

The whispered words of reverie
Within a clouded mind
Coalescing grief and memory
Until they're intertwined

A dance born from fear and love
Long ago forgotten
Joy you could only dream of
That turned to nightmares - rotten

The storm gathers overhead
with the clouds in her eyes
Remembrance of those for whom she bled
she bows her head and cries

She just wishes to see their smiles
to brighten up her day
To hold their little hands for a while
But for now her world is grey

Everywhere she seems to turn
She sees their little faces
The agony continues to burn
As she walks dreamlike through these places

Looking back through time
Like a still frame on a wall
This smile is her pantomime
A lie - that is her downfall

It feels like my strength is failing
Will this pain ever go away
Will I keep on prevailing
Or are these demons here to stay

I can't seem to cry out
Any louder than I am
I try to scream or shout
But I grow quiet when I feel ******

My mind makes me feel so condemned
Choked by the memories that are fading fast
Will my soul ever choose to transcend
And move on from my bitter-sweet past

Will my mind keep up this torture
Until my days are done
Will I always sink into my disorder
With nowhere left to run

I hope I will rise above
And find some inner peace
Maybe I'll find rest in love
And my soul will be released

Rain on me your wisdom
In loud song or whispered verse
Take from me this burden
Lift me from this horrid curse

Lay down beside me
And teach me all you know
Let me rise from the ashes
And bask in the fire's glow

Revive in me my vigor
And thirst for all things new
Let me sing again in the rain
And dance in the morning dew

Let me find the grace
Through the worlds many snares
Soothe me with your mercy
Please heed my many prayers

I'm lost in this evil time
With fears of being forgotten
I've been pushed down over and over
My soul is so downtrodden

Do you hear my cries to you
That echo through my mind
Maybe you're testing me
A warrior in me - you'll find

A fighter that's grown weary
In need of much redeeming
A fractured mind and soul
Looking for you intervening

Have I squandered my existence?
Do my laments reach your ears?
Do you think I'm worth saving?
Can I cast on you my fears?