Dearest Diary,
I have been lost without you
At my fingertips
My words get trapped
Behind my lips.

I get scared and confused
Without you by me
I itch for a pencil or keyboard
just to satisfy me

I get stuck in my head
like a prison cell
of my creation, my own hell

The hands that built the wall
are not the ones tearing it down
the hands that broke my mind frame
Are the ones causing me to drown

Time has healed most of my wounds
The scars are all I am left with
However, life is looking brighter
with every single breath.

He completes me, you see,
He sees me, you see
He frees me, brings glee
and hope back to me

The hands that fouled my mind
hold no power, any longer.
Because LOVE is the answer
to all of my questions,
and He answered every prayer
Every wish and  all I wanted.
The eyes that once haunted
my dreams - Are gone
Now my heart holds my song
I only wish each kiss were longer
each embrace just a moment stronger

I wish I could control the darkness
that was bought from Reverie
The doom and gloom
that once consumed me seems to flee
Whenever he walks in the room

Why does this keep happening?
Is this what I have searched for?
Does he hold the key, to every single door?
Am I trapped within a dream or a nightmare
or is this reality?

Reality on its own terms is something I have grown to love
Mainly because He shows me His grace that shines from above
etched in every smile from each of my children
the rolling hills the sound of love,
from glen to glen
and Den to Den

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NOTE TO MY READERS:

Thank you for listening,
Patient reader as I grew from 13 and up
deciphering emotion, thought and feeling
leaving my mind reeling from pain
Leaving me feeling depleted at times

I never knew how far I'd fallen,
before your gaze fell on me.
My heart started to roar
loud, and thunderous, raging like the sea

I opened my eyes
and to my own surprise
there was no wing to catch me
No silver clad knight
awaiting in soft moonlight
meant to set me free.

I found my love
rifling through keys I had long forgotten
I thought it funny and a bit strange
that my heart may have grown rotten

I was wrong of course it hadn't blackened
as I had often thought
It was never stone nor made of metal
It is still open - just can not be bought

My heart had grown heavy
I had so much to carry
I felt much like Atlas at times
But, truly, I am still a faerie

A pixie, a sprite
a woodland delight
that is as carefree as can be
I still sometimes drown
in unheard sound
just whispers of Reverie

I love my own little world
but I am no longer a little girl
I have put away childish things

Reality seems to have fled
as the streets give up her dead
Hearts mourn as Fae sings.

His eyes burned me
His gaze transfixed
the first dance,
of apprehension

In circles we'd spin
on merely a whim
curiosity was loves invention

Looking for who we are
looking to who we've been
the keys to wisdom oft mentioned

Granted entry through weakness
or maybe strength of heart
the fear is the prevention

Bringing back things
I forgot I could feel
the heat, and the tension.

Translation is key
in prophesy
and also, it must be spoken

Young men and women
hiding gifts, God given,
because they think it makes them broken

United we stand
through times' sand
carrying but a token

One of affection
or one of affliction
or a secret we had awoken.

The realm of reality slips from the grasp
in the small hours of morning,
when the chill doth last.

When traveling through the night
by the waters raging,
you wish to see a light

There is always one to be found,
if you look sky ward
as you are oft bound

Walk, do not run, to the guiding force
that tugs at your heart
and through your blood, does course

Given to you from birth, a passage rite
belief handed down through generation
brings the clearer sight

Everything we were, and who we are
are an amalgamation
of our victories and scars.

I cover up how cold I feel with a warm smile
Slowly recede into my mind, and hide for a while
fear begins to creep in past my defenses
until the chill of it overwhelms my senses
I drive the dark interstate from thought to thought
disbelieving what I'm thinking, and the pain its wrought
I don't shed tears on the surface, I've taught myself other ways
I silently drown in my sorrow, pray, and wait for better days
So I'll let myself smile, or edify, to better hide my pain
as I sit within my mind, and slowly go insane
Tears are for people who let their pain escape
the pain within my brain rarely takes a shape
When it does, Its a slowly spreading darkness, it forms a raging sea
it drowns me deep within it, I choke on insecurity

Lets dance to the beat of our entwined hearts -
Until the song is done.
Lets sing in the shower of our affections -
and just let that shower run.

Life gives us but one chance -
To find the mate for our soul.
So hold on tight to me forever -
Because you make me whole.

You have mended a broken heart -
That to I thought there was no cure
Hold me tight for the rest of ever -
And know that my love is sure.

When you smile, My heart alights -
With an enduring flame.
It takes away my breath -
Every time you speak my name.

I hope that I am to you -
At least what you are to me
You are the last my heart will love
For only you hold its key.