Insolence is in the eye of the beholder

You look at me and all you see

Is what your mind has made of Me

You don't see me change

You don't care.

Real love, is not a knife in the back

To make up for all you lack

To get your way

You don't cause pain

Or cast the blame

That is not up to you-

Only God can Judge my fate

Your words only feed the Hate

Your condescending and overbearing

Can't you see MY heart tearing?

You can't see anyone but you

I can see the real you

behind the fake smile

and stupid lies...

I see the fear, in your eyes

My heart was already broken
like shattered glass upon the floor
and when I met you
You said it wouldn't break like before
In a sense you were right
it wasn't broken like before
those thin pieces of glass
are now like sand upon a shore

With every tiny speck
I somehow still love you
but the love hurts most of all
because my love is true
And just because you don't love me
the way I thought you had
I will always love you true
And it is this love, that tortures me so bad

You say that you love me
but the shackles to her are too strong
and they will remain unbroken
for in your heart she does belong
there isn't room in a heart
for two loves that are true
so I will go on with my love
until my time on earth is through

And though my heart is dying
My love never will
Even if you stay with her
I will love you still
You brought me a happiness
that I had never known
and just because you broke my heart
The love for you has grown

I will let you go your way
and love her the way I love you
I hope it never brings this pain
I hope she can love you true
And if the love the should fail
and you are drowning in your tears
and you feel your heart dying
then always know I'm here

I will hope forever - You never feel this way
for I have love of other kinds to always keep me here
know that perhaps though you die inside
and it may linger through the years
maybe I am a better choice than death
If she makes you feel this way
I will always be here to help
and to cradle you until your dying day.

So many things blight us
So many things inside us,
Why do we have to hide us?

Look at yourself, Unveil

Open your eyes!

No longer see through that Darkened mirror!

What are you afraid of?!

For there is Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself

so analyze! Look within!

Seek where you must begin

To heal yourself, to undo the wrongs

Forgive yourself! Forgive Others!

That will change your life

If you let yourself be happy

If you let your self see..
and if you learn to do this
Learn to set yourself free

Please come back and tell me

So I may learn how too

So I may learn from you...

All I want to do is good...

But at every turn I take

It seems its always a mistake

Even when I'm right

it seems I'm wrong

The words I use never come out straight

I talk in circles and encryptions

That no one understands

Not even me.

I can't tell you how I feel

Not because its not real

But the reason is,

You wouldn't understand

Because I don't understand

why my head is in my hands

I don't know how to say,

How I feel,

I don't know how to portray

With words

Whats in my heart

Whats in my mind

You can search

But I don't know what you'll find

We are really in a bind

Blaming ourselves for the others pain

Are we both blind

Well

Its not you

Its purely me in my problem

Though you'll find a way to blame yourself

No matter what I do, I blame myself

For not helping, or doing more

When I've done all I can

If I'm not helping I am hurting

You have said this yourself

What would you say to me if I said it back

It wouldn't matter now

Because it wouldn't be applied

I can say to you,

Then you turn around and say to me

But the both of us are stuck in a circle

and we are going round and round or so it seems

and we both ar blind to ourselves

we only see the bad

we don't see all we have

we don't take our own advice

.

What if I hide inside my mind

what if I died inside

Would you have cried

or say good bye

if you'd seen my ugly side

Pain ridden heart

heavy like steel

falling apart

am I real

Its the pain I call hoping

its the will I call faith

that keeps me going

and you are unknowing

Of my fight

every day of my life

just to feel right

to hide my strife

To cover the scars

My bleeding heart

that scatters the floor

I put my game face on

But you can see

that somethings wrong with me

but can't tell what

funny, Even I

Don't know why

the teardrops like rain

that fall off my face

and the darkness that consumes my mind

Ohh I... I feel like I'm blind

What am I not seeing

am I not believing

am I ever enough...?

Enough to help

Enough to provide

Enough to show..

Enough to hide...

Enough love for you

Enough sacrifice

Enough knowledgeable advice

...Never enough...

.

Do I **** you with words unspoken

Does my fear leave you broken

Does my hiding cause you pain

is our fighting all in vain

As we strain to see the truth

Through this darkened mirror

Do we build regrets, resentments

Or are they our testaments

You say Go,

I say no,

For fear of being cold

for without your arms around me

the world soon surrounds me

it closes in

with all its darkness

the unknown that is my terror

For I am a sparer

I spare your pain as well as others

in doing so I hurt you both

I love one master and the other, hate

I must choose which to satiate

My own fears and curiosity

or our love eternally....

.