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4.0k · Jan 2021
Heartbeat of the World
Joanne Yuan Jan 2021
"If you lie on the grass,
you can feel the heartbeat of the world."

We all play our parts in its symphony  
and I — perhaps I am the hydraulophone  

I like imagining myself as water.
The river running through Liyue.

It is smooth and calm,
unperturbed by anything

Even words — they fall like fragmented shards.
Leaving ephemeral ripples on the surface.

At least, this is what I aspire to.
But at my core, I am still frost.

Push too hard and I can still turn to ice.

And the pagophone in the ensemble,
playing to its own beat.
296 · Feb 2021
distraction
Joanne Yuan Feb 2021
a deserted doc
waits patiently
its turn

while other tabs wage war
battle cries of notifications
flashing texts to distract
guerrilla warfare

but really
it’s quite unnecessary

content
is always
easier consumed
than created

and I —

I’ll always take the simpler path
180 · Sep 2020
I Say I'll Do ___
Joanne Yuan Sep 2020
A magic trick? A flash of cards,
a sleight of hand, morning to-do lists.

I’ve tried them all. Scribblings on
sticky notes, journals entries, scraps.

A month’s work rolled and
stuffed all into one day.

But I feel featherlight without
the words weighing down my flight.

Another task? I'll just tack it on
— no big deal when I feel so free.

It always hits me late at night, when
I look back on my lists and lists and cry.

You can’t finish a month ahead,
when you’re always a month behind.

But tomorrow — maybe tomorrow,
I’ll try my magic trick again.
  
It’s only a matter of time.
154 · May 2021
untitled document
Joanne Yuan May 2021
a weekend vanishes in smoke,
what even happened? I cannot recollect

is sleep cyclic? an hour inducing yet
another, passing days in dreamy hazes

I think I did things — my calendar tells me so.
but the hours pass by in foggy mist.

perhaps I should talk to more people
perhaps I should read a book
perhaps I should write some poetry

but these things require so much effort

I may as well sleep
127 · May 2021
Unfortunate Happenings
Joanne Yuan May 2021
They first met in the fruit aisle, both pacing to and fro
— but she tripped before he could say hello
The next was in class, their luck was cursed
— seats alphabetized by last names instead of first
A chance meeting in a bookstore, if only he had lingered
— he had left by the time the entrance bell jingled
A double wedding inside a white-bedecked hall
— the groom caught the bride just as she had a fall

Alas, it was not they who were a pair — it was too late
Some soulmates just do not have the right fate.
113 · Feb 2021
kelp wanderings
Joanne Yuan Feb 2021
they wander among the kelp
hand in claw — the moments
their stolen treasures

the mer and catfolk
are forever at war

but that is of no concern
for love conquers all

eyestalks peep
out of the sand

the next day —
the cat is found floating belly-up
the fish is fresh on a plate

catfish swarm among the kelp
that they once roamed through
95 · May 2021
butterfly lovers
Joanne Yuan May 2021
an oath of fraternity
a lifetime                     promise
a jade pendant

a sea of red
arms             intertwined

sips of wine

one follows the other

butterflies
fluttering flight
pt 1/2
88 · May 2021
butterfly lovers
Joanne Yuan May 2021
— frayed red yarn
            (three year?)
                             shattered

                  ; a slippery coating
          stiffly                     ;
rigor mortis setting in




butterflies
fluttering flight
pt 2/2
86 · Nov 2020
*out of battery*
Joanne Yuan Nov 2020
3% —
Nice talking with you today!
2% —
Seems like we had a productive…
1% —
So let’s meet —

Conversations interrupted
plans unfinished
before the
screen —

The clock running
down, just a
bit too —

Chargers lost
messes of
cables

the rush

—charging—
81 · Nov 2020
Give Me My Heart
Joanne Yuan Nov 2020
Crimson dew
falls upon  white
roses, staining petals
blush pink         her cheeks

fiery, cries echoing upon
endless walkways, penetrating
the winter silence of the night sky.

Off with his head. Off with her head.
Off with their heads. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off.


The rhythm of clinging lockets clattering on marble floors,
strangled pleas (a please), heads thumping like metronomes

a wedding march through the chapel in pristine white.

Her heart has flown away — disappearing to
dance with stars through Hyperion foliage

She seeks it out, but her guards’ heartbeats
call to her like a sirens’ song — she
pulls them out, still beating,
blood caressing her fingers

They beat in staccato,
too-fast, too-warm.

Too late

it is gone gone gone.

Give me back my heart.
79 · Aug 2020
fading gray
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
black on white

a world fading
into monochrome

sighs silent lines
lavender laughs wane gray
stormy skies and lifeless lies

they say the world will end
in fire or ice but now,
there is only ash

fear not the world aflame
ennui strikes truer

a study in contrasts
black on white
white on black

pick up your pen
time to add color
adding color with words — though black and white
79 · Sep 2020
forgetting
Joanne Yuan Sep 2020
if this is something you try,
your failure you cannot deny.

if you let your thoughts fly,
slip out, then — reply

what am I?
77 · Sep 2020
zoom boom doom
Joanne Yuan Sep 2020
click the link  
join the room  
ten past five
one on call

half past five
all on mute  
wall of black
might as well  
read a book

spill some tea
ah wait, no  
not on mute  
this is bad  

half past ten
fell asleep  
it looks like
I may be
all alone

I hate zoom
76 · Nov 2020
empty
Joanne Yuan Nov 2020
i feel as if
i've taken
out my
dreams
heart
all

to
put
on display

how they glitter!
sparkle in the light

in dusty attic corners

i'll just fill up
the emptiness
with crystal tears
and sleep through the night
Joanne Yuan Nov 2020
it’s a warm and tidy house
sweeping views, friendly neighbors
(more importantly — cheap too)

if only there wasn’t
a ghost on the third floor

to be fair — she’s the quiet sort
no flickering lights, blood on the floor
just the occasional garage door
and a faint rumble (of the dryer?)

her mail arrives regularly,
and packages, so many packages
there’s a corner set aside for it
but the pile grows and grows and grows

there are no signs to keep out
just an unspoken agreement
that the third floor is hers

though….just a peek wouldn’t hurt,
right? a friendly little visitation,
quick hello
goodbye

the signs go up a month later
FOR RENT
the piles of mail grow and grow and grow
more names now

new tenants
moving in
74 · Aug 2020
paralysis
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
I am sitting, paralyzed, below  
the precipice of an avalanche looms  
I cannot move, I cannot cry  
I can only gaze high up the sky.  

Stones skitter, skatter, patter  
against my skin leaving just  
patterns woven in purple  
and red rain, pleading out  

The rest will come soon,  
but I have no means to hurry them on  
I sit — no, she suffocates me  
wraps her gauzy arms until

Calm, all suppressed  
Rage, embers struggling free  
If that is what it must be,  
let us pay the fee.

My mind floats high,  
the time to go is not yet nigh

If the end is already set  
Why struggle? Why try?  
Sink into the lullaby  

Just don't crash back to Earth,  
before it is time.
after painkillers fade
72 · Sep 2020
begin again
Joanne Yuan Sep 2020
begin
Restless fantasia, colors flying by  
Whirls of blurs, dancing lines  
A world, an apparition, gleaming  
multicolored hues, seeming...  

"Would you like to step outside?  
to where dreams do not preside.  
But all knowledge requires sacrifice  
though the price is not precise"

"Yes, for I am a curious cat  
Cats have nine times to die —  
A sacrifice of just one?  
That is not the end."

But you see,  
there are some things  
that cats are not meant to know.  

A soap bubble popped is lost  
wisps drifting in the wind  
There is always a cost  
and there is no going back  

"But please..."  

Rewind, reloop, stop  
again
72 · Aug 2020
Dorm Room Lights
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
I like —
overhead lights, christmas lights, lights alike
they chase the night away
and keep shadowy dreams at bay

We intertwined string lights in our dorm room
weaving the strands in and out of our bed frame
I kept my desk lamp on through parts of the night
A nightlight by my bed, glowing dimly in sight

But —
I would lose the controller to my string lights
And turn off my desk lamp
I would forget to charge my nightlight

So, in the end, it was just the window light
And coats forming sinister figures,
ready to take flight
shelves looming down, right as —

My roommate turns in the top bunk.
I turn, too, and close my eyes.

Good night. And I guess
I also like having a roommate.
71 · Aug 2020
Rifts of Gifts
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
My friend's birthday was in a week  
And as I woke up, my day turned bleak.

20 gifts for under $20!  
Seems that there are options aplenty.

Elvis Star Socks,  
Meat Parade Metal Lunch Box  
...

Oh! Could this??...but I had to balk.  
For it was out of stock.

My hopes took another dip  
When my perfect gift took a month to ship.

"gifts for guys"  
But the results were all lies!

Why suggest purses?  
By page five, I wanted to give Amazon curses.

But if Amazon had given up,  
it was time for me to give up too.

"So....what do you want me to get you?"
the struggles of finding a gift
70 · Aug 2020
dandruff & dandelions
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
run your hand
through your hair and
watch the flakes drift silently
to the ground. best done against
a dark background — the contrast
makes it easier to see. if you sit still,
a thin layer of snow will start to cover
your skirt, the carpet, your surroundings.
now, move more quickly. scrape, scrape,
scrape let yourself feel the pain. you won't feel
it now, but it'll be cleaner afterwards. even if
your fingertips come away with red. you see, there's
something beautiful about flakes piling besides you,
covering everything, forming a small mound,
then a hill, then burying you. slough off your outsides,
your beautiful insides will show, bright, bright red. you'll
finally be able to shed your regrets. you are a dandelion,
spreading yourself in the wind,
scattering
everywhere.
dandelions leave seeds to grow, but you
— you leave pieces of yourself everywhere you go.
69 · Sep 2020
pieces
Joanne Yuan Sep 2020
do butterfly wings
rip at the seams?
just paper scraps
65 · Aug 2020
this is not a fairytale
Joanne Yuan Aug 2020
once upon a time

she gazed upon a web of dreams  
two shadows were already dancing,
perfectly precariously balancing
among silken-soft beams

she touched the vignette nettings  
followed the bindings  
setting upon trails of dulled gold

one step,
another,
another,
     they don’t connect

another.  

you fall
.
.
.
fairytale weavings
break

the mirror tracks you down
you are not wearing a ballgown  
you have no crown

there is no prince to catch you  

it's someone else's tale  
you're
falling
falling  
falling

two figures  
you watch them ascend

happily ever after
a fractured fairy tale
57 · Jul 2020
gossamer threads
Joanne Yuan Jul 2020
featherlight
stretching, frayed
through the night


                                         but upon first light
                                       wispy particles, afraid,
                                         take fluttering flight


                                                       ­                                       grasp them tight
                                                           ­                                         lest they fade
                                                            ­                                                . . .
                                                               ­                                   morning light
dreams fade in morning light

— The End —