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Apollo Thornhill May 2021
if life is a highway,
miles of straight road
then do yourself a favor
and take a wrong turn

go down winding country roads,
not knowing where each next turn
will take you down
what adventures lies at every bend

so go forth, not knowing where to go
drive through cities you'll never see again
see ocean waves lapping in the middle of the town
walk down streets stained with torrent rain

lose yourself in the hearts of lovers
find yourself in the minds of strangers
make dumb mistakes, and make them again
move out just to find yourself back where you started

be vulnerable to people you've just met
tell stories to people you don't know
write novels that will never be read
live through experiences only you will ever know

if death is permanent
then life's beauty must
be found in fleeting moments
not endless permanence

you'll forget the miles of road
on highways you've seen a thousand times
but you'll never forget
the wrong turn you took once
Apollo Thornhill May 2021
some nights, when the air is cool
i think of grabbing my keys and a jacket
running to the car and hopping behind the wheel
turn the ignition and drive out west

drive through open roads and rice paddies
streetlights flashing through the windowpanes
wind whistling, whispering sweet nothings
no radio, just the engine and the road

end up in a place to start anew
a city where no one knows my name
where i can walk out my door
and become anyone i want to be

spend my days reading everything and nothing
fall in love with strangers i see across the bar
walk down romantic streets on my own
create a new life far from my past lives

out west, i'd disappear into the crowd
like wisps of cigarette smoke
lingering in the air for a second
before vanishing forever
Apollo Thornhill May 2021
some days i feel invisible
unseen, unconcerned, unpresent
as if i'd be gone tomorrow
merely a shadow of a memory
and no one would be any wiser

there are days where i turn off my phone
for a few hours, telling myself i'm looking for peace of mind
telling myself i'm looking to be by myself
but all i think about is what messages
will find me when i turn my phone back on

to no one's surprise
there rarely are any messages
there rarely are any questions
any 'where'd you go?'
any 'i miss you'

i think i already am invisible
but a good kind of invisible
invisibility that isn't there because no one cares
but because everyone thinks i'm alright
everyone thinks i'm doing okay

some days, i wish i wasn't that good kind of invisible
Apollo Thornhill May 2021
i told you when we last met
that i'd be there
a face among the crowd
a stranger at your favorite concert

that i'd be cheering you on
in silence, in solitude
no loud screams, no big scenes
just a reassuring pair of eyes across the room

i know your nervous tics
i know your secret fears
and i'd be there watching every night
as you conquered them all

and if we were lucky
maybe we'd get a chance to catch up
talk about your dreams again
before the road took you away again

i know you're just one call away
but now that you've moved
i gotta move on
and i'll see you
when all the music dies down
Apollo Thornhill May 2021
if you're awake
and you're looking up at the night blue
i hope you'll find the peace
i'm looking for too

im talking to thin air
hoping the winds catch my words
saying "i'll see you tomorrow"
when we both know that's not true

maybe one day
far from now
we'll wind up at the coffeeshop
down the street

we'll trade mundane stories
you'll show me a scar
you got from scraping
your hand on the cutting board

i'll tell you about
my accident
when my sister's fish
accidentally died of the cold

over the buzz of the grinder
the warmth of the cup
the bustle of the street outside
our fingers barely touching

one day soon
we'll make it through

— The End —