You know that feeling
Right before a storm comes
Your hair stands up
And the temperature drops about 20 degrees?

That’s what I feel when I see you
Because you ****** me up
You slit my throat
And left me for dead

And when I hear you speak
I hear thunderclaps
I see lightning so close
That I can feel the heat

Because when I hear you
I remember how you get mad
How it’s always my fault
Even when it’s not

But when you touch me
I feel a strong breeze
Gently sweeping between the leaves
And carefully shuffling across a pond

Because you’re my everything
You always will be
And I can’t change that;
I don’t even know if I would

Imagining
A car ride
We're in the back seats
One of our parents in the front
Your head rests
On my chest as my head
Rests on yours

Wishing
That when I see you playing with your dog
At your home
Wishing
It was our home
Praying
It was our dog
Our love
Our life

Thinking
Of how beautiful you are
And how you know that
And that should make me happy
I just wish you were
Thinking
Of me

Draining
The tub
As the blood streaks and stains
Leaving proof that I was here
And leaving proof that you aren't

Explaining
How I feel to you
Because I can trust you
Because I can love you
Even though you
Don't love me

Trying
Just trying to get to tomorrow
Just trying to end it today
Just trying to pull the trigger
Just trying to see the universe
All the way from above

Things that don't make me sad

You

I taste a flower
I immediately want to expel it
You tell me to keep it in
Swallow
You commend me
I want to throw up
I want to burn this place
I want to leave
I turn to face a portrait
Of my father
Of my mother
Of glass and metal
On a bathroom wall
I say your name and look down
The drain bubbles but reveals nothing
I scream in complete and utter belief
Because I know who you are
I say your name and look up
The vents rattle but nothing comes out
I say "of course" and throw myself on the floor
Because I know what you are
I say your name and look down
The ground shakes
I feel your name rattle the earth
I always knew who you were
I disregard my reputation and inhale you
Your breath is the color on my cheeks
The color on my eyes
The color of an almost dark sky
The color of you
I say your name and turn around
A shadow flickers
Flowers spill off the edge
I catch only one and start to scream
I throw it at the chasm
It spins as it floats toward the unknown
I cry your name and look down

How can you touch her
How can you behold a soul so perfect
That you wonder if the stars are imposters
And still turn your back to the brilliance

You wonder if even death would make you forget
And then realize that of course it never could

Because trees bow as she walks by
As if aware they are watching the performance of a lifetime
And flowers bloom in her presence
Just to catch a glimpse of a true deity

But a coward walks away
A coward tries to dispose of a being
That no reaper ever could
Because death is powerless when it comes to a galaxy

She carries the world in her eyes
But you hold her heart in your hand
And exhale your cold stale words into a fist
With no regards to the only heaven you'll ever know

And even though your yellow residue
Could never tarnish a jewel more precious than any diamond
To hurt something so pure
So many times
Could only be described as blasphemy

You could be the sun in a milky way so bright
That no human should be allowed in its presence
You could awake to a chorus of angels
For the rest of your life
You could feel the wind in a way no one ever has

But now a coward wonders if death would make him forget
Just remember that of course it never could

I see a lightning bug
One at first, then enough to remind me of you
Their light cracks through the void
And leaves sparks in its place
In a field full of thunder, I whisper your name

I reflect
On an intimate vision I have of your face
Your eyes spill to the floors of my heart
Drowning me in the best possible way
In a field full of thunder, I say your name

At the edge of the trees, I spy a shadow
A shadow of a person; a shadow of hope
In a clearing we fall to the earth
A question is unanswered, a shadow gone
In a field full of thunder, I shout your name

The fireflies reveal a lonely reminder
They burn through grass and destroy the earth
Leaving scars of which I only know
When the dust settles, I start to vanish
In a field full of Thunder, I cry your name