Life is a puzzle
Let go of the pieces
that don't fit
And hold on
to the pieces
that make you feel
more complete

It hurts your  feelings
so you hurt mine
i love you to death
thats why i'm ready to die
tomorrow is a never
today has gone by
goodbye my dear love
it was a fun ride

but i think i was born
saying goodbye.

I feel like you can't trust anyone any more.
the people you thought would always be there for you and have your back
end up always being the one to betray you.
now you're betrayed
with nothing left
just shame and guilt
that's all you feel
having someone you can tell everything to
that you think is mature enough
to keep things to themselves
tell the people who hate you the most
everything just makes you feel so stupid
makes you feel so empty alone
they know the worst feeling to feel is alone
and that's exactly what they do
make you feel alone
like you have no one
that one person that says they'll be there for you
you cant trust them
makes you feel so good and welcome
makes you feel like family
because your actual family just hates you
turns around and stabs a 12 inch butcher knife in your back
is the worst thing that could ever happen to you
and it happened
to you
all these feelings are inside
tearing you apart
eating away
all these feelings that they knew it would have caused
caused all of them
they knew it would all make things worse
they knew it would make you upset
what they may not have know
is that it would make you want to die
but they did it all
by betraying someone
who "meant so much" who they "loved"
but did they really?
no
because if they did
they wouldn't' have said anything.
-cd

Never, never again?
Not on nights filled with quivering stars,
or during dawn's maiden brightness
or afternoons of sacrifice?

Or at the edge of a pale path
that encircles the farmlands,
or upon the rim of a trembling fountain,
whitened by a shimmering moon?

Or beneath the forest's
luxuriant, raveled tresses
where, calling his name,
I was overtaken by the night?
Not in the grotto that returns
the echo of my cry?

Oh no. To see him again --
it would not matter where --
in heaven's deadwater
or inside the boiling vortex,
under serene moons or in bloodless fright!

To be with him...
every springtime and winter,
united in one anguished knot
around his ****** neck!

I wish there were words
or pictures
or sounds
that could convey how I feel inside
but no matter how much I try
or how many nights I waste
with pen in hand and paper not far
I end in a teary eyed fury
because the creativity that leaks
from the outside world
into my skin
seethes within my bloodstream
and blankets my being
and it gets stuck
and no matter how much I write
or draw
it just seems to multiply
and I sicken with sadness
unable to share what I have within me.
So I smoke
and pop pills
and somehow
it releases this creative pressure
or seems to display it in my feelings
and I am alive again.