If I could put to words
what this year was,
I would say--
****.

**** this ******* year.

Thirteen years into
the second millenium,
was as unlucky as the number
said it would be.

This year was about
being on my own,
being sad,
being alone.

Yet I found,
poetry, and that death
could never be the answer
to questions I'd rather not ask.

I found friends
in people halfway
across the whole
world.

Love from the people
of my kind--
poets--
who loved and despaired.

This year was not
the one I would remember;
because new beginnings
are often disguised
as painful endings.

So here is to
my new beginning.

as long as i'm here
over your shoulder
i will lift off your chest
that heavy crushing boulder.

when i am here
you will feel no remorse
i will help you
when life takes its course.

i will be your guardian
watching from afar
ready to push you away
from a speeding car.

it is not one of my chores
to save your soul
i will do it again
without being told.

you do not have to thank me
for i am the blessed one
to be the final one with you
when the air forever
leaves your lungs
never to return.

You have built a
makeshift home
for me in the palm
of your hand. It's
uneasy there but
I don't know how
to leave your
meadows and
skyscrapers. You
mostly keep me
stored in your front
shirt pocket, safe
from the wind and
rain, but sometimes
you pull me out
and whisper to me
that my flowers
look lovely, have
I been doing something
new with the
arrangement of my
porch, the sunlight
looks beautiful in my
hair, why don't I
get out more often?

the blood poured from her skin
but she never screamed in pain
her cuts always burned and itched
but she never did complain

every other injury
she'd sit and whine about
but she'd never cry out
the hurt she put upon herself

she wanted to live a normal life
but the monsters had a better idea
they manipulated her
then she made them a deal

"i'll hurt myself, you devils,"
she promised to the demons
but they raised it so many levels

now the girl is broken
she is ****** up and scarred
but what can she do now?
she never knew it would be this hard.

this is dedicated to
all those broken dreams
all those annoying little things
all those empty apologies.

all those lies you told
all the promises that were broken
all the words you wrote in bold
all the words that are unspoken

all those times you made me cry
all those times that made me want to die
all those times you showed me off
as if i was something people would make you proud of.

all those times you made me believe you
all those words you said to help guide you
all those things that helped remind you
all those reasons i was kind to you

all those days you made me smile
the minutes that you tried to make worthwhile
and the worst...
the seconds it took for you to put the
pieces of my heart in that pile

all the words you made me speak
all the promises you couldn't keep
all the secrets you wouldn't let slip
all the times you let me trip

all the crap you put me through
all the things you said to them, too
for all these reasons
i dedicate this poem to you.