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 Aug 2013 Angie Acuña
Grant B
Empty
 Aug 2013 Angie Acuña
Grant B
The door locks from the inside,
and I don’t have the key.
The flaky paint and crumbling walls,
are falling in on me.

Dark curtains mask the windows,
the light bulbs are all blown.
Forgotten dreams and broken smiles,
and I’m here all alone.

I still hear the distant laughter.
In your life I once took part.
And I can’t let go, and I can’t move on,
And I can’t unbreak my heart.
The way my cheeks hurt,
My stomach feels pain,
My head throbs,
My fingers shaking,
My palms clammy,
My antidote to kick in,
My knee caps lock,
My face starts to itch,
My teeth clenched,
My finger nails no longer anything left to chew,
My toes tingling,
My upper right chest, feeling pressure,
My sight becoming fuzzy,
My thoughts mixed frequently.
My friend.

I love you, too.
At show and tell
my teacher used to
tell me
that what you tell
about a person by
what they bring
to show and tell
all they’ve got
is who they are
and they’ll show you more than tell.

She used to say,
‘Don’t be afraid
Of who you are,
Of what you’re made
Is comparable to some
But to the great’

'cause we try to shake
what we were given
so 'they' wont see
how different we are
from them who decide
the fate of our lives,
so here we are with
open palms giving
you our fears.

So you decide
Because I’m afraid
of who I am.
Him:* I think it goes without saying that you and I are pretty much already set on being friends with benefits, and I want you to know that I'm not going to fall in love with you, and not looking for a relationship at this point in my life. And there are other people that I will be seeing.

I don't know what love is, but I know these past few days I haven't been able to keep my mind off of you.

Him: And if that's anything you're not comfortable with, or your expectations are any different, then it shouldn't happen.

But I want it to.

Him: But the last thing I want is anyone being hurt, and I feel like the best way to avoid that is making sure we don't have different expectations.

Pain is an old friend of mine...*

Me: Nope, I'm cool with that.
23
It's four in the morning
And I can't sleep.
You're laying next to me,
Back turned,
Dreaming.

I have a taste in my mouth.
It's part you,
Part excitement,
Part me,
Part disappointment.

And it won't wash out.

I kind of want to cry,
But jump for joy
At the same time.
I guess that's growing up.

I guess that's living,
And that's learning,
And I'm not really sure of
Anything right now, except
I am sure I want your arms
To hold me tightly.

But you're dreaming.
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,

but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't
untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I remember,
As a child,
The loneliness that
Pulled at my chest,
Thinning my heart
Until it stretched so far
I couldn't see the ends.

And I'd cry.
And I'd think.

And I'd think that
All I needed was a little bit of love.
A little bit of adoration
From manlier lips,
A kiss.

So I'd try
And I'd cry,
Because the more I tried,
The more I failed.

And it's kind of funny now,
Because kisses only seem
To make me lonelier.
And in the middle of a crowd now,
I die.

I'm still sad inside.
I really don't like this out of all of my other stuff, I don't think it has as much quality,, but I figured I'd put it up anyways.
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